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Raw Water

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There's a new trend sweeping the land...

Raw water!

What is raw water you ask? Well let me refer you to my friend Christopher Sanborn.




Oops...I mean Mukandhe Singh. Since obviously nobody would spend 30 bucks a liter on plain old dirty, untreated water if it's sold by someone named "Chris."

Raw water (or Live water as his particular brand is named) is water that is untreated and maintains all the bacteria and algae that we as a human species have spent countless years and brain cells trying to exclude. Let's just forget that obtaining clean drinking water is still a major issue in many places on planet earth. Let's take the garbage water that other countries are trying to dispense with and sell it to pseudo-hippy, semi yuppies for an outrageous price.

And what makes raw water so appealing? Well, unlike all that poisonous, corporate mainstream H2O, raw water is unfettered by all that filtering and sanitation that obviously makes "normal" water so damaging to our bodies. It's also devoid of that pesky fluoride that, in the words of my friend Chris, is simply a harmful addition by the government for mind control purposes. (Seriously. He actually says this.)

So what are the benefits of raw water? You mean besides lining Chris's artisan, hemp-based, fair trade linen lined pockets with plenty of green?

Hmm... Let me think. Well there's weight loss. After all, nothing will make you shed a few pounds like intestinal dysentery.

Now where can you buy this exemplary product? I mean, besides just going outside and scooping up some water out of a mud puddle.... Well the Rainbow Grocery in San Francisco of course. Of course it's called the Rainbow Grocery. And of course it's in San Francisco. What else would you expect?

Just be prepared that they may be out of stock. That's right. You will have to be lucky to go in and spend 30 dollars for 2.5 gallons(side note...please USA... can we dispense with this gallon bullshit? Its just you, Liberia and Myanmar. Seriously, come on).

Don't listen to those silly scientists with all their "facts" and "evidence." Listen to the long haired guy with the tie-dyed shirt and beaded necklace with zero education who is charging you 30 dollars for lake water.


Raw water. Well, after suffering severe diarrhea for days on end and possibly allowing, who knows what tiny microbial creatures, into your digestive tract and possibly your blood stream, you can visit Mexico without suffering Montezuma's revenge.

Raw water. It could be a great treatment for America's obesity problem, and Canada for that matter. I just read a couple of articles recently about how the obesity epidemic has spread north of the border. Maybe Canada should've built a wall and made America pay for it. But thinking positively, the Canadians can drink the Raw Water until they've climatized their bodies as well, and lost a lot more weight than A Jenny Craig diet. Then they can skip Florida and all it's geezers mistaking the accelerator pedal for the brakes and driving over pedestrians on sidewalks, and go straight to Mexico.

I should get in on this raw water thing. I know of a lot of nasty poultry processing plants upstream from some easy places to draw water. I could call it Extra Raw Water and it might be best to market it in an opaque bottle.

All this or I'm just on another flouride high.

Oh, on Diamond Water. That ain't nothin'. Wait until you see Buz's Platinum Water available only through late night TV advertising. I've blessed it myself. Blessed by High Priest Buz, aka El Presidente For Life World Dictator. Each bottle is sold with it's own certificate of authenticity. $499.99 for a 12 oz. bottle. BUT, if you order today, you get 2 bottles of Buz's Platinum Water. AND that's not all. You'll get a set of Red Solo Cups. So order NOW! Call now in the next 10 minutes and we'll also give you a free psychic reading.

I am fucking dying at your post and the responses. It doesn’t help that I’m on a restrictive diet to control flare ups from an autoimmune and this entire eating lifestyle is filled with Raw Water supporters.
Raw water is further proof that people will buy into any crazy fad, no matter how unhealthy or stupid it is. I would offer a suggestion- Eat Tide Pods while drinking raw water, to really help cleanse your system!
To people in India, living on the Ganges, raw water is probably extremely purified! They would pay $30 for a bottle, if they had any money!
I always loved more mature women. Women that knew what they wanted and how to get it.
The trouble now, is that I am more mature than they are.
Quote by Liz
Next trend: "Raw Chicken"


Fixed that for ya. I steal from the best.
Hey! I drink cum from my lovers' pussy/cock! Just how fussy do you think I am?!
This is why we need to invest more in science education. Just sayin'.
I prefer medium well water.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Quote by Liz
Next trend: Raw Chicken


░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


As somebody who spends quite a lot of time trying to get clean filtered water to disadvantaged communities can I just say, fuck this guy.
"A dirty book is rarely dusty"
Quote by PrincessC

As somebody who spends quite a lot of time trying to get clean filtered water to disadvantaged communities can I just say, fuck this guy.


Yes.. the majority of the world is clamoring for clean drinking water. People like this make me sick.

The only thing that provides me solace is that the people that he's fleecing are just as stupid as he is.
Quote by DamonX


Yes.. the majority of the world is clamoring for clean drinking water. People like this make me sick.

The only thing that provides me solace is that the people that he's fleecing are just as stupid as he is.


I never thought I’d wish cholera on people, there’s a first time for everything.
"A dirty book is rarely dusty"
Quote by Beffer
Hey! I drink cum from my lovers' pussy/cock! Just how fussy do you think I am?!


Actually, that may be a safer source of hydration!
Quote by Dani
I prefer medium well water.


You know I hate medium well water. We already spoke about this.

if you want to proceed down this road again, feel free. It probably won't go well for you. This is your get out of jail free card. After this, I will destroy your lush persona.

I really doubt this is going to end well for you.
Quote by roymunson101


You know I hate medium well water. We already spoke about this.

if you want to proceed down this road again, feel free. It probably won't go well for you. This is your get out of jail free card. After this, I will destroy your lush persona.

I really doubt this is going to end well for you.


The fuck is actually wrong with you?

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░


Quote by roymunson101

if you want to proceed down this road again, feel free. It probably won't go well for you. This is your get out of jail free card. After this, I will destroy your lush persona.

I really doubt this is going to end well for you.


I know you've already quoted someone in this post but to quote another you just type [quote =] text here [/ quote] with no spaces between. Hope this helps

EDIT: Oh and said persons name after the equals sign...
Quote by sweet_as_candy


I know you've already quoted someone in this post but to quote another you just type [quote =] text here [/ quote] with no spaces between. Hope this helps

EDIT: Oh and said persons name after the equals sign...


Thank you for your attempt to assist me. I very much appreciate it, but I executed my previous post exactly as I intended.