Quote by Barbielicious
I still don't trust men. Don't date. avoid like the plague. I cannot trust. anymore
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by Barbielicious
I still don't trust men. Don't date. avoid like the plague. I cannot trust. anymore
Quote by sprite
i get that. i like guys, but there's still a little part of me that won't trust them, that is always wary when i'm in their company, that makes sure that i'm never alone with them. it's something i'm actually working on, but it's a slow process.
Quote by Barbielicious
I am in therapy as well right now.
i keep asking for the magic pill that makes everything okay. apparently, it's not been approved by the FDA yet... fuckers. You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by sprite
me too. that, and i beat the living shit out of punching bags on a daily basis, which helps as much, if not more, at times.
That's good you hit the bags. Or a forgetful of bad things pill. 
Quote by Barbielicious
I think one thing that's eluded me my whole life is stability. Is it that hard to create? To feel safe and loved? Unconditionally in the real world, from parents or a spouse?
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by sprite
it takes a lot of hard work, a little luck, and the right person. i am lucky, i have that, and that's what keeps me breathing every time i feel the urge to stop. it happens, it's doable, it's not a fantasy, but it's not easy - it's all about hope, just keep a little hope safe in your heart, and it can happen. it doesn't make things perfect, but it helps.
Thanks. 
Quote by kiera
Hey everyone
Hope you are all doing well?
I just wanted to let you all know I am getting some new tats on Thursday one of which is a semicolon on my wrist in honour of you all here and this thread... the tattooist I spoke to today I think knew of the meaning behind my request as he is doing the semicolon for me for free.
Love to you all and stay strong but more importantly reach out if you need support because help can always be found here.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by sprite
hanging in there after a rough ride through death (not mine, obviously) and illness (sadly, that was mine, but feeling better!) special thanks to you, btw, for everything - you brightened a few of my days, Kiera
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Quote by kiera
Hey everyone
Hope you are all doing well?
I just wanted to let you all know I am getting some new tats on Thursday one of which is a semicolon on my wrist in honour of you all here and this thread... the tattooist I spoke to today I think knew of the meaning behind my request as he is doing the semicolon for me for free.
Love to you all and stay strong but more importantly reach out if you need support because help can always be found here.
to all. 
Quote by Simplicity
I have suffered this for several years. I thank God that He has stood beside me and held onto me through my roughest times. Then He sent me Milik. I also have a tattoo going down the inside of my left arm that says " My story isn't over yet ; " My tattoo guy also knew the meaning of it when he did my tattoo. I am very proud of this tatt, because I have made it through the worse part . I still have my bad days. But I now have someone in my life that holds me and gets me through it. My heart goes out to anyone suffering from this. Hold on, it does get better. I'm living proof.
I also have on the inside of my right wrist the words " Loved & Forgiven " so when I am feeling down depressed worthless, I can look at that and always know I am Loved and I am Forgiven. It has helped me in so many ways.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by PanJinlian
I have written and deleted about 6 posts on this thread without submitting them because sometimes I read back my words and think about how whining and attention seeking my words look, and think to myself about how I should stop thinking things which wallow so much.
And then I try very hard not to judge myself and follow my counsellor's advice and ask myself who is judging me (it's me, of course) and who has decided what SHOULD or OUGHT to happen (and that's me too). So basically I subconsciously decide that my opinions are unsuitable for others because they haven't met my own standards, so I self-censor and stop all talking beyond the 'surface smile' entirely (which is a hugely positive step!).
My mental health has been well and truly fucked by being so ill, so often and for so long. Cancer has cost me everything from my ability to have babies to my chosen career, via pretty much every hobby I've ever done, my independence and my financial stability. It's been taking from me for 20 years now, it just keeps coming back for more and it doesn't appear to be done yet.
At the moment I can't even repeat the positive affirmations that my counsellor wants me to say (I have a thing about not deliberately lying and I won't just mouth positive words unless I can at least feel some reality in them) and He asked me to promise Him that I would not decide to stop being here without talking with Him about it and I can't do that either. I considered a semicolon, but that seems rather like a statement of a war that I hope that I'm winning and at the moment I can't be confident in the least.
I'm going to push through and post this, but it comes with apologies in advance that I may never return to this thread to face it again, or I may return and delete my post.
Congratulations to everybody who manages to succeed to keep breathing on a daily basis.
Quote by avrgblkgrl
FOR A FRIEND WHO CONSIDERS SUICIDE
[Because I too know. ABG]
I have no right to ask you to live
when you have already sharpened the blade
and found the strongest pulse.
You have fought the serpents longer than
the best of us, wrestling with their
thrashing tails and speaking sane above
the sound of their rattlers in your head.
When their fangs pierced your skin again
and again, it was your mouth
not mine
that found the marks
and cleansed your veins,
sucking hard
to stay alive.
But that was then,
you tell me,
and this is now.
You have prepared the poison.
It is your life
and your pain
and your right
to end it all.
End it
if you must
but in your note
write in a clear hand
that in the other world
you will remember
these things:
the velvet touch of friendship
the sound of laughing children
the sight of men and women
in their winter years smiling Spring
and the feel of lovers you have known
who delivered on their promise
to take you to the heavens.
Before you leave,
tell me you will remember
that you were the loving sister
who prepared feasts for others
from a cupboard bare.
Write that note,
my friend,
It is your antidote.
~ Gloria Wade-Gayles
Quote by PanJinlian
I have written and deleted about 6 posts on this thread without submitting them because sometimes I read back my words and think about how whining and attention seeking my words look, and think to myself about how I should stop thinking things which wallow so much.
And then I try very hard not to judge myself and follow my counsellor's advice and ask myself who is judging me (it's me, of course) and who has decided what SHOULD or OUGHT to happen (and that's me too). So basically I subconsciously decide that my opinions are unsuitable for others because they haven't met my own standards, so I self-censor and stop all talking beyond the 'surface smile' entirely (which is a hugely positive step!).
My mental health has been well and truly fucked by being so ill, so often and for so long. Cancer has cost me everything from my ability to have babies to my chosen career, via pretty much every hobby I've ever done, my independence and my financial stability. It's been taking from me for 20 years now, it just keeps coming back for more and it doesn't appear to be done yet.
At the moment I can't even repeat the positive affirmations that my counsellor wants me to say (I have a thing about not deliberately lying and I won't just mouth positive words unless I can at least feel some reality in them) and He asked me to promise Him that I would not decide to stop being here without talking with Him about it and I can't do that either. I considered a semicolon, but that seems rather like a statement of a war that I hope that I'm winning and at the moment I can't be confident in the least.
I'm going to push through and post this, but it comes with apologies in advance that I may never return to this thread to face it again, or I may return and delete my post.
Congratulations to everybody who manages to succeed to keep breathing on a daily basis.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Quote by CecilyJayne
Wow. This thread. I had never come across it before. There is SO much strength here.
I am not really in sharing capacity, and I'm not sure I ever will be, the weak and vulnerable in me is well squashed and bricked by walls that rarely come down. It always tugs at the heartstrings to read of others' experiences, in spite of that, it is comforting to know that there are others who understand your pain in ways that those around you generally don't. Many many sincere hugs to all who post here or lurk in the background needing the support.
glad you decided to drop by - you don't need to share, you don't need to have the most messed up story here, you don't need to do anything but what you're comfortable with. you're always welcome here. Nice to meet you. 
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
