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BAGS !!!! Come on Ladies ... Guys welcome too ... post yr favourite or zaniest!
Okay... TRUE STORY... (Hi Jayne!)
I recently ACQUIRED a new 17" Toshiba Lap-Top... (I didn't have a BAG for it 'cos my other machines are SMALLER..)
So, I'm in this THRIFT SHOP, (shopping for books as it happens) and they have this GORGEOUS black leather lap-top bag that will fit the new machine... It's tagged fifty bucks. So, I slip the bag on my shoulder, select a few second-hand Michael Connolly novels and APPROACH the counter...
The guy behind the counter rings up the five dollars or whatever for the books. He IGNORES the bag on my shoulder. I pay the Five Bucks, I walk out of the shop.
xx SF
Everyone: "You STOLE from a CHARITY SHOP???"
Me: "It was an IRISH COUNCIL FOR THE BLIND SHOP!!! They wouldn't have noticed ANYWAY!!!"
Everyone: "You're going to ROT in HELL!"
Me: "I don't believe in Hell..."
Everyone: "That's your answer to EVERYTHING!"
I recently ACQUIRED a new 17" Toshiba Lap-Top... (I didn't have a BAG for it 'cos my other machines are SMALLER..)
So, I'm in this THRIFT SHOP, (shopping for books as it happens) and they have this GORGEOUS black leather lap-top bag that will fit the new machine... It's tagged fifty bucks. So, I slip the bag on my shoulder, select a few second-hand Michael Connolly novels and APPROACH the counter...
The guy behind the counter rings up the five dollars or whatever for the books. He IGNORES the bag on my shoulder. I pay the Five Bucks, I walk out of the shop.
xx SF
Everyone: "You STOLE from a CHARITY SHOP???"
Me: "It was an IRISH COUNCIL FOR THE BLIND SHOP!!! They wouldn't have noticed ANYWAY!!!"
Everyone: "You're going to ROT in HELL!"
Me: "I don't believe in Hell..."
Everyone: "That's your answer to EVERYTHING!"
Active Ink Slinger
Prolific Writer
Dirty Stop-out
so many gorgeous bags.. i love the 3d printed one... will be amazing to see what the can do with technology and fashion next.
2 competition winning stories, 1 Famous story, a smattering of Editor's Picks, a handful of Recommended Reads and one Clitorides award are scattered amongst my stories.
One of a handful of writers to get the Omnium badge for writing in every category
For a book club with a difference... try this lesbian romp
Dirty Stop-out
2 competition winning stories, 1 Famous story, a smattering of Editor's Picks, a handful of Recommended Reads and one Clitorides award are scattered amongst my stories.
One of a handful of writers to get the Omnium badge for writing in every category
For a book club with a difference... try this lesbian romp
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Quote by stephanie
Okay... TRUE STORY... (Hi Jayne!)
I recently ACQUIRED a new 17" Toshiba Lap-Top... (I didn't have a BAG for it 'cos my other machines are SMALLER..)
So, I'm in this THRIFT SHOP, (shopping for books as it happens) and they have this GORGEOUS black leather lap-top bag that will fit the new machine... It's tagged fifty bucks. So, I slip the bag on my shoulder, select a few second-hand Michael Connolly novels and APPROACH the counter...
The guy behind the counter rings up the five dollars or whatever for the books. He IGNORES the bag on my shoulder. I pay the Five Bucks, I walk out of the shop.
xx SF
Everyone: "You STOLE from a CHARITY SHOP???"
Me: "It was an IRISH COUNCIL FOR THE BLIND SHOP!!! They wouldn't have noticed ANYWAY!!!"
Everyone: "You're going to ROT in HELL!"
Me: "I don't believe in Hell..."
Everyone: "That's your answer to EVERYTHING!"
That just sucks. And I don't believe in hell either. I do believe in honesty though. C'mon Steph, you're better than that. Or at least I hope you aspire to be better than that.
=== Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER ===
Quote by BiMale73
That just sucks. And I don't believe in hell either. I do believe in honesty though. C'mon Steph, you're better than that. Or at least I hope you aspire to be better than that.
You are absolutely correct, however the KEY WORD in your comment is 'aspire'... (Look, I KNOW it was a bad thing to do... I FULLY INTENDED to buy the goddam bag, but the guy never ASKED!!! And then, IN THE MOMENT I thought, 'He thinks this is my bag...' which was DUMB of him 'cos this bag is WAY to cool for me, it's like a GAY MAN'S BAG, it's fucking fabulous, and then I thought 'Actually, this is quite exciting, I'm stealing something...' and by then I'd paid for the books and was outside the shop...
Look, it was a National Council For The Blind Ireland store... It's not like you YOU CAN CURE FUCKING BLINDNESS!!! Christ only knows what they spend the profits ON, to be honest with you. Labrador dogs and white sticks, I don't fucking know... (I'd NEVER have stolen from a Cancer Society shop because at least those people are working on a cure...) It's not like they were going to GIVE the bag to a blind person! Who would not be able to see how beautiful it is even if they did... Although the leather feels gorgeous... A blind person would probably appreciate that...
Here's a photograph of the sodding bag:
http://g02.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB11e6fJFXXXXX.XXXXq6xXFXXXw/15-17-men-pu-leather-messenger-bags-black-leather-briefcase-for-men-shoulder-business-bag-laptop.jpg
*THE FUCKING POPE WOULD HAVE NICKED THIS FUCKING BAG!!!*
Listen, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER I PROMISE TO GO BACK AND GIVE THEM THE FIFTY BUCKS!!!
xx SF
(Great... NOW, I'm A LIAR as well as A THEIF...)
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Quote by stephanie
You are absolutely correct, however the KEY WORD in your comment is 'aspire'... (Look, I KNOW it was a bad thing to do... I FULLY INTENDED to buy the goddam bag, but the guy never ASKED!!! And then, IN THE MOMENT I thought, 'He thinks this is my bag...' which was DUMB of him 'cos this bag is WAY to cool for me, it's like a GAY MAN'S BAG, it's fucking fabulous, and then I thought 'Actually, this is quite exciting, I'm stealing something...' and by then I'd paid for the books and was outside the shop...
Look, it was a National Council For The Blind Ireland store... It's not like you YOU CAN CURE FUCKING BLINDNESS!!! Christ only knows what they spend the profits ON, to be honest with you. Labrador dogs and white sticks, I don't fucking know... (I'd NEVER have stolen from a Cancer Society shop because at least those people are working on a cure...) It's not like they were going to GIVE the bag to a blind person! Who would not be able to see how beautiful it is even if they did... Although the leather feels gorgeous... A blind person would probably appreciate that...
Here's a photograph of the sodding bag:
http://g02.a.alicdn.com/kf/HTB11e6fJFXXXXX.XXXXq6xXFXXXw/15-17-men-pu-leather-messenger-bags-black-leather-briefcase-for-men-shoulder-business-bag-laptop.jpg
*THE FUCKING POPE WOULD HAVE NICKED THIS FUCKING BAG!!!*
Listen, IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER I PROMISE TO GO BACK AND GIVE THEM THE FIFTY BUCKS!!!
xx SF
(Great... NOW, I'm A LIAR as well as A THEIF...)
Excuses. And yeah, it would make me feel better, about you. I'm actually pretty sure it would do the same for you as well. Just give it a try! It would solve both the thief as the liar issue. Win-win!
=== Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER ===
Quote by BiMale73
Excuses. And yeah, it would make me feel better, about you. I'm actually pretty sure it would do the same for you as well. Just give it a try! It would solve both the thief as the liar issue. Win-win!
WHAT THE FUCK??? (Laughs!!!) Ain't like I'm not CRAZY enough??? (Now, I'm imagining a tiny good-conscience-fairy Bi-Male on my Right Shoulder, in a white tutu, with a Halo and a little fuckin' wand thing going, "Do the right thing, STEPHEN!!!")
xx SF
Of course, on my Left Shoulder is LITTLE LEATHER LINGERIE SPRITE FAIRY all smokin' hot and holding a trident with a forked tail and little red horns (which exactly match the color of her panties...) under her blonde tresses going, "Fuck it, Dude, you got away with it, well done you! Great bag, too..."
Sprite: "I would never say that... I'd WEAR that, but I'd never say that. Except for the bag bit."
"insensitive prick!" – Danielle Algo
Quote by stephanie
WHAT THE FUCK??? (Laughs!!!) Ain't like I'm not CRAZY enough??? (Now, I'm imagining a tiny good-conscience-fairy Bi-Male on my Right Shoulder, in a white tutu, with a Halo and a little fuckin' wand thing going, "Do the right thing, STEPHEN!!!")
xx SF
Of course, on my Left Shoulder is LITTLE LEATHER LINGERIE SPRITE FAIRY all smokin' hot and holding a trident with a forked tail and little red horns (which exactly match the color of her panties...) under her blonde tresses going, "Fuck it, Dude, you got away with it, well done you! Great bag, too..."
Sprite: "I would never say that... I'd WEAR that, but I'd never say that. Except for the bag bit."
Whatever it takes ;)
=== Not ALL LIVES MATTER until BLACK LIVES MATTER ===
