I just had to disconnect with someone I loved more than I have ever loved a woman before because I thought it was best for her. But it is hard! You have all had this happen to you, what coping techniques or tips do you have to help a man or a woman get through? Thank you all so much for your kindness in answering this question.
You probably won't like my answer but in the past when this has happened to me on Lush, I've cancelled my membership and relisted under a different tag name when I feel able to.
Its purely because I know I'm too weak to keep my distance and I know that I'll get myself in the same situation again.
Not a coping technique, more a technique from knowing I wouldn't cope.
Watch sad movies. Listen to sad songs. Then watch happier movies and listen to happier songs. Keep yourself busy/distracted. And let time do its thing.
Quote by Broccck I just had to disconnect with someone I loved more than I have ever loved a woman before because I thought it was best for her. But it is hard! You have all had this happen to you, what coping techniques or tips do you have to help a man or a woman get through? Thank you all so much for your kindness in answering this question.
online or real life, i think the key to moving on is to get active, involve yourself in something else. If your brain is occupied with what its currently doing, it doesnt have the space think of what might be. Then it becoes not what you are looking for and sooner or later, you find youve moved on.
I don't know if this helps but either in life or online, the emotions are still the same.
I did the same in real life with a live-in partner. I coped because I kept reminding myself why I did it.
You just push yourself to carry on and keep busy. On Lush you can immerse yourself in reading or writing to occupy your mind.
You won't forget but it will get better.
I surf. When I have loved and lost. But... I surf when I have loved and won. Let's fact it, no matter what, if there's a wave I surf.
I've just published chapter seven of Undercovers Detective. I would love your feedback on this story. I'm planning on ten chapters at least. If you haven't read one yet, I've included links. I hope you like them.
The only thing that fixes pain that deep, is time. And, distance. Eventually you find yourself wallowing and dwelling on it less and less, until a scab has formed on the wound and it's easier to take.
The best advice I ever received though, still rings true. "Never give up on someone that you think of every day".
Thank you so much my dear people for being so kind as to help me, and also help others who are going to read this. Just knowing there are in our Lush community many members who care for those they meet here, however briefly, I am most thankful for sharing your compassion! Your responses have meant so much to me!
Quote by Dancewithme Thank you so much my dear people for being so kind as to help me, and also help others who are going to read this. Just knowing there are in our Lush community many members who care for those they meet here, however briefly, I am most thankful for sharing your compassion! Your responses have meant so much to me!
This was going to be a pm but... here goes.
Please don't wallow in self pity, instead celebrate your courage. You haven't taken this decision lightly, and in your heart you know it is the right thing to do. You have made an altruistic choice and you should be proud of yourself. You have shown strength that not many people have, to sacrifice your own feelings for the sake of another.
I think you will find solace in knowing what you did was right. Nobody can take away your memories, they are yours for life. It hurts now but it will get better.
I wish you well.
This was going to be a pm but... here goes.
Please don't wallow in self pity, instead celebrate your courage. You haven't taken this decision lightly, and in your heart you know it is the right thing to do. You have made an altruistic choice and you should be proud of yourself. You have shown strength that not many people have, to sacrifice your own feelings for the sake of another.
I think you will find solace in knowing what you did was right. Nobody can take away your memories, they are yours for life. It hurts now but it will get better.
I wish you well.
Thank you dpw....You are right on the mark! Thank you! As for pm's you can write me anytime.
You move on. And know that you will be loved and in love again. Understandably, that might not seem like the case when you're down and out. But if misery's your only company, then it won't work. However, overcome the loss at your own pace. Do something you enjoy, because that'll be you at your best again. Good luck.x
This has only happened to me twice, and the first time, I knew it wasn't going to work out, so I had a lot of time to prepare for the end. The second time hit me out of the blue! She found someone else and sprung it on me over Christmas break. She even had breakup sex with me before she told me! I was in a state of disbelief! I waited for her to finish 7 years of college, and when she gets her doctorate, she finally doesn't need me any more! I was so fucking hurt, it took me months to get over her. You just stay hurt and empty until time fills you in again.
When my 20 years marriage broke up I did jig saw puzzles for a couple of months then studied depression and realized I had to cure myself. I joined an amateur dramatic society so I had to concentrate on the lines. After a year I could cope with stuff like public transport and gradually rejoined the human race. Somewhere I'll never go again over anybody; it's a state that effects even the chemicals in your body so you get physical symptoms -acid feeling on your skin and you're doing all this. So although I don't avoid risking myself emotionally I know there is no point in visiting that dark world ever again simply from a sense of self preservation.
Quote by Dani Watch sad movies. Listen to sad songs. Then watch happier movies and listen to happier songs. Keep yourself busy/distracted. And let time do its thing.
Don't forget the tissues for the sad movies and songs.
No way I'd let him think the tears were from him.
It hasnt happened for a while but .....
Cry mostly. Scream a bit and bash the table.
Then I calm down and probably masturbate, and wonder who will be my next conquest.
Life is too short to keep things on the boil for too long.
I can not say that I recommend my method to anyone else. Whether it is a breakup with someone I deeply love, the loss of a family member, the loss of something dear to me, or having to do something that forces me to part with things I don't want to give up, I do exactly the same things. Yes, I mourn their loss deeply, but I fight self-pity fiercely. The latter can kill a man in a heartbeat. Mourning their loss can be real, and telling yet I carry on, as I insist on moving on. Firstly part of the morning is recalling the wonderful moments you had with that person or thing, and be grateful for how many of them you had. Secondly, life give us very little TIME, our most precious resource. We must utilize every second we can to seek and find something new that is truly good and beautiful in it. There is only one fear I live with: it is to have lived my life without doing anything good or elevating with it. It take more courage to live life that way that one can ever imagine but it is always rewarding when you are. That is what I put my self-faith/belief in.
Every lost love is a learning experience. You find traits you like and dislike. When you lose a love, you are more apt to find someone better because with every broken relationship you learn more about yourself.
wow... um, cry. i'm a crier so it's pretty common for me anyway. it feels good to release that pressure valve. listen to a lot of appropriate music. whether it be sappy love songs or rage fueled breakup songs. eat. i allow myself at least one frosted covered baked good (that may, or may not, be daily). write. i just get it out in free writes. talk. spill my guts to my besties - that's what they're there for. finally, i just let time do its thing.
You'll get there.
