Active Ink Slinger
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Broke the bed while having a threesome with my wife.
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Sexual Accidents
Active Ink Slinger
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Plenty of small injuries like banged head, rope burns, actual burns, bruised knees etc.
But my biggest injury came after the actual act. I'd met a girl at a bar, gone home with her, we'd had sex and fallen asleep naked. I woke up a couple of hours later needing to pee. To get to her bathroom you had to pass through the small living room. As I stumbled through the living room, I stepped on her cat causing it to yelp and me to jump.
Leaping off the cat I lost my balance and fell ass first through a plate glass table -- totally shattering it and slicing my ass cheeks in many places.
Needless to say, she woke up, wasn't pleased with the destroyed table and the pools of blood on the floor. Ended up calling an ambulance and heading to A&E. Many hours later I had a doctor tweezering shards of glass from my ass and stitching me up.
Walking, sitting and even lying down was agony for a couple of weeks. I still have the scars to this day.
But my biggest injury came after the actual act. I'd met a girl at a bar, gone home with her, we'd had sex and fallen asleep naked. I woke up a couple of hours later needing to pee. To get to her bathroom you had to pass through the small living room. As I stumbled through the living room, I stepped on her cat causing it to yelp and me to jump.
Leaping off the cat I lost my balance and fell ass first through a plate glass table -- totally shattering it and slicing my ass cheeks in many places.
Needless to say, she woke up, wasn't pleased with the destroyed table and the pools of blood on the floor. Ended up calling an ambulance and heading to A&E. Many hours later I had a doctor tweezering shards of glass from my ass and stitching me up.
Walking, sitting and even lying down was agony for a couple of weeks. I still have the scars to this day.
Marx Sister
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Sure, lots. I guess a lot of these are mishaps rather than accidents, but there's a fair amount in both categories. Falling off the bed, rope burns, bruises, etc. Getting walked in on. Walking in on friends. I also once broke a bed, but it wasn't mine. Blowjobs which go too deep and lead to choking or sputtering. Cum in the eyes. One time I got cut by a rough edge on a flogger when my partner was pretty overzealous, though she did not mean to break the skin. Oh, then there was the time some drunk guy on his way to the stage at a festival staggered through my camp and fell through the side of my tent while I was having sex in it. I (and some of my partners) have also had to tell doctors on multiple occasions that the bruises all over me (them) are consensual sex bruises and not something they need to worry about.
Of course lots of others too, but those are some highlights.
Of course lots of others too, but those are some highlights.
My Featured Stories
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The Snowglobe Conspiracy – Solving a great mystery | There Is No Butterfly – Time Travel competition entry | Incurable Arousal – Most viewed | Toxic, But Not Sinister – Mutual loathing at its finest | You Were – An experience in the second person | Desiderium – A scattering of lovers
Lurker
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While laying on an old wooden bridge, missionary my hubby (I think it was him) was on me.
I got a sliver in my ass. I yelled ouch. He thought it was his huge cock (not) going in to hard!
He finished quick and when he climbed off we were laughing so hard I peed all over.....ooops!
Sherry
I got a sliver in my ass. I yelled ouch. He thought it was his huge cock (not) going in to hard!
He finished quick and when he climbed off we were laughing so hard I peed all over.....ooops!
Sherry
Advanced Wordsmith
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shot cum up my wifes nose & in her eye once. did the wrong hole once when wife adjusted herself as i was pulling out to thrust back in. thought she broke me when in reverse cowgirl she lifted up too much popped out & she slammed down on me that really hurt for a cpl days.
The Linebacker
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My wife and I broke the bed once. It collapsed underneath us.
I've been in a couple of 'Popeye's' where the woman (once my wife, a gf the other time) caught a glob of cum in the eye, finishing off a blow job. I said I was cumming but in both situations they moved their head their head right into the squirt. Evidently, cum burns once it is in the eye. Both times they ran to the bathroom to wash their eyes out with water.
Another time, when my wife was my gf, we were parked in an alley in Atlanta fucking in a BMW Z4, her in my lap, when a homeless guy walked up and peeked in and said something. She screamed! I yelled at him. He ran off. Then we laughed.
We were fucking in a convertible during the aftrenoon on an Appalachian mountain dirt road when we discovered some college age girls watching us from above where the road curved around. That wasn't long ago.
I once, during sex, I wrote on my wife with what I thought was a water soluble marker. I grabbed the wrong one. Oops!
I've been in a couple of 'Popeye's' where the woman (once my wife, a gf the other time) caught a glob of cum in the eye, finishing off a blow job. I said I was cumming but in both situations they moved their head their head right into the squirt. Evidently, cum burns once it is in the eye. Both times they ran to the bathroom to wash their eyes out with water.
Another time, when my wife was my gf, we were parked in an alley in Atlanta fucking in a BMW Z4, her in my lap, when a homeless guy walked up and peeked in and said something. She screamed! I yelled at him. He ran off. Then we laughed.
We were fucking in a convertible during the aftrenoon on an Appalachian mountain dirt road when we discovered some college age girls watching us from above where the road curved around. That wasn't long ago.
I once, during sex, I wrote on my wife with what I thought was a water soluble marker. I grabbed the wrong one. Oops!
Constant Gardener
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My girlfriend and I were fully engaged in cowgirl on the kitchen tile floor - and she was standing on the balls of her feet, using her thighs and glutes to bounce up and then allowing gravity to occur.
As I recall, she also had one of her hands holding on to the edge of an island countertop, probably for balance.
She had figured out just how far to stand up on the out-pull and had gotten into a nice rhythm when she started to climax and got a little too exhuberant with one squat thrust and the head of my diamond cutter slipped out, and she dropped about 80 pounds of her torso straight down again...only this time
she took it all right in her taint.
She didn't walk right for a few hours. This accident didn't really cool my jets though. Still functioned normally, but I understand that some guys can and do harm themselves in this manner.
As I recall, she also had one of her hands holding on to the edge of an island countertop, probably for balance.
She had figured out just how far to stand up on the out-pull and had gotten into a nice rhythm when she started to climax and got a little too exhuberant with one squat thrust and the head of my diamond cutter slipped out, and she dropped about 80 pounds of her torso straight down again...only this time
she took it all right in her taint.
She didn't walk right for a few hours. This accident didn't really cool my jets though. Still functioned normally, but I understand that some guys can and do harm themselves in this manner.
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Active Ink Slinger
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What a great thread.
Had a gal once who was so wet I pulled out and accidentally but easily slid into her butt. She said, "wrong hole." So I pulled out and she said, "But it felt kinda good." So back in I went.
I thought that more gals might be like her so I tried it not so accidentally on another gal and got a very different response.
I was over zealous licking and sucking a gals pussy. I sucked her pussy lips so hard and for so long that they swelled up like a balloon. She freaked out not knowing what to do so I put an ice pack on her pussy. I felt kinda bad.
Had a gal once who was so wet I pulled out and accidentally but easily slid into her butt. She said, "wrong hole." So I pulled out and she said, "But it felt kinda good." So back in I went.
I thought that more gals might be like her so I tried it not so accidentally on another gal and got a very different response.
I was over zealous licking and sucking a gals pussy. I sucked her pussy lips so hard and for so long that they swelled up like a balloon. She freaked out not knowing what to do so I put an ice pack on her pussy. I felt kinda bad.
Advanced Wordsmith
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Well, my wife fell out of the bed during a threesome once. Rolled over to switch positions and right over the edge, arms and legs flailing and a shocked look on her face. Fortunately, nothing bruised but the ego, so we all had a laugh, had a drink, and got back to it.
“Writing is a socially acceptable form of getting naked in public.” -Paulo Coelho
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Wasn't in mid-flow or anything but we had the most beautiful cottage and hot tub and we were naked. Well... I was trying to pluck up the courage to drop my towel incase the people could see and he climbed in first with his glass of fizz and slipped. I still laugh about it now. I was impressed he didn't manage to spill a drop though. And then we got right to it.
Lurker
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I once had a long and intense hardcore session. After I finished my dick was so numb, that when I was standing and leaning to kiss the girl who was sitting on the bed, I started to pee a bit on her belly and didn't even feel that. I was really ashamed, but then she sait that it felt nice and asked for more on her pussy, so I did... but when I started to pee with my dick still mostly hard, the stream somehow got retarded (yes, I'm using this word on purpose) and I got some of it on her tits, some splashed on her face and most landed on the floor and on the bed (it was one night stand at the hotel). She giggled like crazy while looking at my face, saying that she actually likes that and it would be a nice ending... if I could actually hit her with that...