Sensuality

19 Feb 2014

Where do you think sensuality comes from? Do you think we are born with it? Or is it a learned behavior? I know that I am a sensual being, but I have no idea where it comes from. When can you call something sensual? How do you recognize the difference between sexuality and sensuality? or lust and sensuality, is it linked when it comes to being open and accepting of yourself etc...? What would you consider a sensual act?

I hope I can inspire discussion on such a broad subject and would love to know your thoughts smile

21 Feb 2014

Nice topic!

In my opinion, sensuality is something natural and innate in all human beings. Our skin receptors are set to appreciate certain sensations while disliking certain others, just like most humans prefer the taste of sweet strawberries to the one of sour lemons. Of course subjective preferences still exist depending on individuals, but I do believe that the majority of people are naturally susceptible to find sensual sensations enjoyable. It doesn't mean it's going to be a preference for all of them though.

There are many sensations that humans can find pleasurable (some being actually quite harsh), but to me a 'sensual sensation' refers to one triggered by softer and slower motions/feelings. Even taking a hot bath alone could be considered a sensual experience. 'Sensual sex' could also be defined as sex where sensuality is the main feature (duh). For the most part, sexuality and sensuality aren't mutually exclusive; a sexual experience simply refers to one also implying the stimulation of genitals, though solely stimulating other erogenous zones can also have a sexual connotation, so to speak.

Experiences that are purely sensual are completely possible too, of course. Personally, I can enjoy physical stimulation with a girl simply for the sensual aspect of it (eg. caressing, cuddling, massages, etc.), though more often than not sexuality also jumps in at some point. To me, offering a long passionate cunnilingus can be meant as a sensual act just as much as a sexual one.

As to why humans evolved to appreciate such sensuality (without going into full details), I believe that it is simply to trigger and encourage feelings of care, complicity, compassion and cooperation between lovers. Apparently (and luckily) there's a biological advantage for us to appreciate such sensuality. Cats (and dogs to a lesser extent) also evolved similarly; I once read a scientific essay that explained that cats evolved to appeal to humans, since they are very dependent on them. Even wild and abandoned cats have to live near human settlements to survive, eating rodents (ie. rats/mouses) and detritus to survive, and luckily being fed once in a while with some fresh leftovers or milk by compassionate humans. Cats thus evolved to be cute, affectionate and entertaining to humans, to create a cooperative bond with them. Squirrels, skunks and guinea pigs are very similar to cats in size and appearance, yet aren't as appealing to humans simply because there wouldn't be any biological advantage for them to be that way.

Anyway, yeah, I believe there's a natural biological advantage for us to enjoy sensuality. study

As I've mentioned above though, not everybody prefers sensuality when it comes to sex or relationships, so I do believe it can also be 'learned' (or 'unveiled') to an extent. Some people, while still enjoying sensual sensations, might simply prefer rougher sex (I wonder if there's a biological advantage in that). Some others might not be that comfortable with sensuality for many different reasons (eg. it's not what they're used to, negative experiences, etc.), but I do think they still have the natural ability/capacity to enjoy it. In my opinion, these people could somehow 'learn' sensuality (if they actually want to).

Speaking for myself, I enjoy sensuality a whole lot. Even with female friends with whom I don't have any sexual intentions, I do like to hug them just for the sake of hugging them, or being affectionate with them (sometimes it can lead me into trouble though). I don't really have a preference between rough and sensual sex, but if I had to choose only one I'd definitely choose a sensual partner. I really couldn't see myself in a relationship with a woman that doesn't enjoy any signs of sensuality/affection, though I could live with one that doesn't enjoy rough sex (to a degree).

Here's a thread I created some time ago concerning slow/sensual sex, if you're interested :

https://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postsm1336877_Slow-Sensual-Sex.aspx

21 Feb 2014

I'm not sure if this answers your question the right way, but a try anyway.

To me, sensuality is something that someone has innately. I knew a guy once upon a time, whose very being was sensual. He had no idea that his voice, his mannerisms, etc. just oozed sensuality. It was just something that was a part of him and being anywhere near him set my meter off. I don't think a sensual nature is something that someone could 'learn' and project, I think it's either there or not. Someone who doesn't even know that they give off that vibe is even more dangerous ;)

21 Feb 2014

Quote by gunshopgirl
I'm not sure if this answers your question the right way, but a try anyway.

To me, sensuality is something that someone has innately. I knew a guy once upon a time, whose very being was sensual. He had no idea that his voice, his mannerisms, etc. just oozed sensuality. It was just something that was a part of him and being anywhere near him set my meter off. I don't think a sensual nature is something that someone could 'learn' and project, I think it's either there or not. Someone who doesn't even know that they give off that vibe is even more dangerous ;)

I agree with that. People are not born equally sensual, but I do believe that the big majority of humans will still find sensuality enjoyable, to varying degrees of personal preference.

For the record, is there a single woman out there who doesn't enjoy massages?

22 Feb 2014

I think it's part of your being/mind but something that also depends on one's life experiences. e.g. people that are exposued to constant voilence I believe become desensitised which ultimately has an impact on their sensuality (IMO). I feel the strongest validation of this is seen in people suffering PTSD and severe depression.wkZmWDQPi5bPKP8c

22 Feb 2014

Quote by Python
I think it's part of your being/mind but something that also depends on one's life experiences. e.g. people that are exposued to constant voilence I believe become desensitised which ultimately has an impact on their sensuality (IMO). I feel the strongest validation of this is seen in people suffering PTSD and severe depression.TV6IAtYmj0QExS9Z

I couldn't agree more - especially in some people abused as a child. My soon to be ex cannot (sadly) even understand what it means to be sensual - but something inside her craves it. She mistakes sex as love, and touch/caress as signs to fuck, not just to enjoy. She uses her sex to look for what she doesn't understand.

I'm a very sensual person, and she interpreted my wanting to be close as wanting to have sex - she couldn't hold hands without thinking it was time to fuck - she had affairs after affairs looking for what she misunderstood. I tried to get her into therapy but her friends (birds of a feather) told her I was just over sexed - because I like to cuddle, give her a massage (w/o sex), just kiss, light candles.

Oh well, I wish her the best and I hope she finds what she's missing. She's a good person and I still love that person I married, and I'll always be there for her - just can't live with her after her last sin against our marriage, and kids.

26 Feb 2014

Quote by Guest
I think it's part of your being/mind but something that also depends on one's life experiences. e.g. people that are exposued to constant voilence I believe become desensitised which ultimately has an impact on their sensuality (IMO). I feel the strongest validation of this is seen in people suffering PTSD and severe depression.X5q0AjxrzuNkm3Bh

I think I have ptsd and I'm still sensual and playful....( I can elaborate but it's embarassing to post to all...)

I still have some innocence in me.....

I also think my emotional age does not match my chronological age.

I could be wrong. I'm self-diagnosing..

20 May 2014

Quote by Guest
I think it's part of your being/mind but something that also depends on one's life experiences. e.g. people that are exposued to constant voilence I believe become desensitised which ultimately has an impact on their sensuality (IMO). I feel the strongest validation of this is seen in people suffering PTSD and severe depression.yXnZU0Hur6F6Pkbb

hmm... i'm going to have to disagree about ppl suffering from ptsd or depression losing sensuality. if anything i think those ppl feel things too deeply. as someone who has dealt with depression, i can honestly say that it has had no bearing on how sensual i am. i feel that you are born with a base of sensuality, some of us are more than others. however, i feel it is something that can be learned.

Say. Her. Name.

20 May 2014

This is an interesting topic and the replies have been interesting to read because I don't believe sensuality exists.

Sensuality seems to be a characteristic we attribute to people we already find sexually attractive or arousing in some way; it seems to me that the sensual aspect is just another term to describe sexual attraction.
Sensuality in and of itself without the foundation of attraction is totally abstract and as such it seems to be a redundant term.

"A dirty book is rarely dusty"

20 May 2014

Anything can be a sensual act.

I think, to some extent, we are born deriving pleasure and a calming, soothing sensation when we are touched. Touch plays an important role in early life developement (such as an infant when bonding)... (with the exception of people who truly cannot stand to be touched, and never could due to autism or something). This is not what we think of as "sexually" sensual, but the beginnings of "touch" in our senses.

*I personally believe that "Sensuality" comes from our spirit, heart, needs, and emotions~ (some people are better able to release these feelings and desires in a sultry and sexual way due to personality and ability). Being a "Sexual Being" -as most of us are anyway, born to become this, some are more so than others. Sensuality is different. We can be "sexual" without harboring the skill to seduce with a simple light touch or not know how to longingly caress someone in such a way that their breath is caught or be able to capture ones senses in what would be considered a "sensuous" way. Sensuality has to do with "senses." I think it is an emotional connection to those senses expressed "sexually", but it does not have to be sexual. One can wear sensuous clothing or sit in a sensuous way without intending it to be sexual even if it is perceived by others to be sexual. What is more sexy than someone who is inately sensuous? Heart, soul, and a direct connection to desires lends itself to the right combination with expression to the senses from these, then the mix can be pure intoxication.

21 May 2014

Wow, it's actually never crossed my mind whether someone was born sensual or not. Nature vs nurture... I think sensual attributes can be picked up as we mature (sexually), although the physical attributes which we are born with shapes the kind of sensuality we would eventually grow into. You might have a feral, charged kind of sensuality. Or perhaps a softer, more delicate style. It all depends on your physique and personality. You're born with the former but have to cultivate the latter.

The gold standard of sensual acts for me is when you make me say "fuck..." under my breath without touching me. Speaking to me in a certain tone or just looking at me in a certain way does that. The mind games played in these instances can be rather sensual. Alternatively, you can just smell good. But if you have to touch me, gimme a massage then (SP's totally right about that one!).