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Rough/forceful sex?

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SereneProdigy
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Quote by Christie


IMHO it's when your partner won't take no for an answer. To some degree or another the sex has to be non-consensual in some way or another and there's resistance or reluctance on the part of one partner.

That partner is then forced to submit.

And just writing that makes me


Hmm, I don't quite agree with that. Some people enjoy a more physical session simply for the intensity it provides. The words 'rough' and 'forceful' can hold many different connotations, it's not only about being overly harsh or authoritative.

Rough can mean: primitive, raw, unpolished

Forceful can mean: dynamic, energetic, vigorous

Look at that video I posted in my opening post: the woman there doesn't have that "No! Don't do that to me!" attitude at all.
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Dominant, animalistic, fiery sex that holds one on the edge of loss of control, pain and pleasure.

Ummm never, besides I don't spank and tell ;)
miss_impossible
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Its all in perception and individual desires. For many of us, or at least my friends and I when we have discussed such things, a common thread for us how desired we felt. Is that rough/intense play because our lover wants us so badly that he just devours us - and that is very, very, very hot. Such unbridled passion just for me also makes me want to submit entirely to his intense desire and see where that would takes us. The flip side - force and roughness just for him to satiate his desire to derive pleasure because I have pain and no pleasure is not for me.
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i have HUGE non consent fantasies. and irl it is a big turnon when i know a Man isnt going to take no for an answer. This is going to happen...i can just decide how much i want to be hurt resisting.

i like sex more equal and intimate with girls. But with men, i want to know im prey.

mmmmmmmmm
paul_moadib
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The "Things I don't like" list, read simply as violence. It's odd these would be considered part of sex.

Not sure what fish hooking is though.

The first part is all good though!

Quote by Dancing_Doll
Rough sex is one of those areas that's up for personal interpretations and those interpretations vary widely across the board.

I enjoy it - rough, intense, dominant, consuming, nearly overwhelming hard sex. Not always, but sometimes. A guy that understands how hard to push things without veering too far over the edge is a wonderful thing. Some guys are just uncomfortable with it, and I get it, however if a girl loves it hard and rough, it's worth talking it through and finding out her personal preferences and boundaries.

Mrs Rabbit had a great post outlining some of the things that make for great 'moderate level' rough sex, which is what I enjoy too:

- hard to occasionally violent thrusts
- some hair pulling (aways tug near the base of the scalp, that's important, don't do it like a third grader pulling a girl's ponytail at recess)
- pussy/ass slaps
- being pinned down, pushed up against a wall, having arms restrained, controlling her movement - I love the physicality of this.
- face sitting (yes!)
- spitting (make sure it's in the moment at the right intensity level and she's in that nearly over the edge 'fuck me like a dirty slut' moment)
- more intense dirty talk - not the 'naughty' stuff - make it filthy!
- choking (not to the point of blackout - you need to learn how to do this properly before attempting and always underplay if you don't know how to do it. Even hands around the throat will suffice for most guys if you're unsure).
- face-fucking with some gagging, cum/spit dripping down chin (this is a personal preference thing. you have to make sure the girl is into it before proceeding).
- with all this stuff it has to feel 'in the moment' and when the intensity levels reach the right peak, not like running through a rough sex checklist. Treat the woman like an instrument you're playing - watch for the cues - build on the intensity level - know when to pitch and pull back.

Things I don't like:
- fish-hooking (whoever the fuck created this ridiculous porn move?? I hate even seeing it)
- turning an intense rough but *controlled* experience into an *out of control* violent one. The key is for the guy to always, always, always be in control, even when it appears he's not. He needs to constantly be checking in with his partner, reading cues and being prepared to scale back if it's too much. Safe words are a good idea too if you like to push the edge a lot.
- anything that is going so far as to leave real marks, cause real pain, break the skin - no, no, no - unless you're into the S&M domain.
- anything overly degrading like dunking (in a toilet or a tub), restricting breathing to the point of blackout
- real slapping or hitting - especially anywhere near the face
- wrecking a hole (pussy or ass) - skipping lube, causing serious pain or damage. Stretching or gaping. Definitely not for me.

** Note: some girls like the things I don't like but I would consider those more extreme rough sex elements and I think for those - you'd definitely need some proper communication dialogue and limits worked out ahead of time

Anyway - I think most girls will agree that they don't want it rough all the time and they don't want it to the same intensity all the time. I also don't think it's wise to push the levels of rough sex without knowing up front if the girl is into it. That could be scary. There is some level of trust required with some of the rougher elements. I also have to really be into the guy - to the point that I want to give myself over that way. I think if a guy starts with the basics, ass-slapping, pinning down, some harder sex, easing into the mouth fucking. Chances are the girl is either going to respond positively or egg you on for more or give you that 'deer in the headlights' look in which case she's probably not into hard sex and it's best to back things off.

I will always say that there is a huge difference between rough sex and assault. It's in the girl's compliance and desire for it, and in the man's control over everything he's doing. Good rough sex is still very controlled and calculated - it's intense - it's not violent.
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SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
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Quote by miss_impossible
Its all in perception and individual desires. For many of us, or at least my friends and I when we have discussed such things, a common thread for us how desired we felt. Is that rough/intense play because our lover wants us so badly that he just devours us - and that is very, very, very hot. Such unbridled passion just for me also makes me want to submit entirely to his intense desire and see where that would takes us. The flip side - force and roughness just for him to satiate his desire to derive pleasure because I have pain and no pleasure is not for me.


I agree entirely; nicely expressed.

As a man, a great deal of the appeal is how a woman willingly puts all her trust in me; this is such a wonderful proof of affection/devotion, and as weird as it may sound there's something quite 'romantic' in it for me.

Also, I like to feel like a dominant/competent man that feels permitted to 'grab his prize' without any restraint, and up to a point being overly harsh and tying the girl up works against that. There's absolutely nothing 'manly' about forcing sex on a girl, quite the contrary: if the only way a man can manage to have sex with a woman is to 'force it' against her will, it just hints at how a fucking weakling he is. Entertaining/pleasing her, earning her respect and offering her a wild passionate fuck when she's actually up for it, now that's manly.

Those brutal BDSM scenes are usually a turn-off for me that way; I just feel like I'm watching a weak/miserable man that can't fuck a girl the proper way, no matter how 'tough' or 'hardcore' he's trying to appear. I do enjoy bondage at times, but in a much more playful/consensual atmosphere.
Dirty_D
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I seem to have missed this the first time it was presented, but since it has appeared I'll share my $.02.

I tend to like a little rougher sex then many of the girls I hang out with. I'm not entirely certain why, but for me sex is about abandon. For me to orgasm, I have to release my control, and I rarely do that. So I have to trust the person I'm with to relax enough to get to that point. I'm also a bigger girl (6') so I always feel I have to hold back. Rougher sex lets me feel I can just be me, without having to hold on to the thread of control. That said, I in no way agree to the statement about "when your partner wont take no for an answer." There's an ugly word for that, and its not one I enjoy with sex.

Basically, I want to release control, not worry about restraining myself. when I push my partner for more, it's because I want to 'feel' it and to be more connected.
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To me it's about abandoning myself to someone's lust, being physically dominated and overpowered, and being used to satisfy their pleasure.

Not, I hasten to add, in a violent way.

It's role play - acting out a fantasy. I love playing the reluctant nice girl. It means I'm not guilty of enjoying doing such dirty acts that only a woman of ill repute might do
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I am not against this. I am more into rough sex i have to say because the tensions run high and it's highly erotic.
forbidden_flirt
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I think it's all in the interpretation of the wording. I agree with most posters that what will turn one on, may have the total opposite effect for another.

I think I like the IDEA of someone being rough with me, and not so much the ACTION of it happening. I haven't actually had much experience with rough, without forceful (not the "good" kind of rough/forceful anyway). I like the idea of a guy being dominant, and taking control of me sexually... but I also find it hard to give the actual control over to him completely. Hence, I like the idea.

My hubby is not dominant person. In fact, he's not as "actively sexual" as I am. (Not the typical guy, I guess... doesn't have sex on the brain 24/7.)

The specific things that do turn me on include:
light bondage
spanking (not too much though)
forceful guidance
bouncing
dirty talk and abusive language (name calling and filth words to describe body parts)
Cinner
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Since I identify as a primal, and my last several partners have also, our sex is more basic and as far from vanilla as possible. I want to be taken...completely dominated. His satisfaction is my arousal and my release. I also tend to claw and bite a good bit...lol.
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while reading all the above replies i some how agree with DD.
although i don't like force or rough sex.. but like every other every woman i desire to be pinned and devoured...
it makes me feel special that i man actually want me.
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Is needed sometimes....
Daddypleaser
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Rough and forceful just means dominant to me. Not cruel, degrading .

I know some people are into that sort of thing too, and to each his own. I'm simply saying that is what the words mean to me...
sprite
Her Royal Spriteness
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Is kicking a guy in the balls considered rough sex? If so, I'm totally into it.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.