Why do people play on others emotions? Do they not realize they are?
I think the players know exactly what they are doing... they just don't give a fuck.
This is precisely what draws down the chat rooms and meetings of the those that are sincere. It's not new, just grows and grows. Reminds me of mold.
Players know exactly what they’re doing, most don’t care, though some straight up admit they are in fact players but not often.
A lot of the times people do it because their real life is too boring, and they think why not come online and make up a world of fun and fantasy. This isn’t the real world after all, right? They think if they don’t invest their true feelings, the person on the other end isn’t either. Of course there are the ones who just don’t care at all, and are truly only out for themselves.
In the end, it’s as simple as deleting someone, or going as far as deleting your own account. You can always make a new one. There is no rule for doing that is there?
I hate how easily people play with people emotions, online or not.
I have noticed in my time on Lush that the faster the hook-up, the harder the fall. I think that people sometimes rush into things without really getting to know the other person in a natural way. And if you only keep it online, I think the connection should develop even slower than it would in real life. I've seen profiles where a person has only been here a week before they are declaring their 'love' for someone and changing their relationship status. I mean how well can you even know someone in such a short period of time - especially if both people are bypassing the normal 'connection time' in favour of that drug-like high of feeling 'loved' and 'wanted.' With this outlook, it's easy to fall prey to people who are just looking to dick around with someone's emotions and have a little mini-vacay from their own reality. It's easy to cast the smoke and mirrors for short periods of time but when the initial euphoria of excitement settles down a bit, the players will bail because it starts to become more work than fun.
I feel compassion for those that have been hurt in these ways, but my advice would always be to keep perspective and take it slow with the emotions. Let things happen naturally. And if you come across a guy or a girl who is tripping on saying "I love you" when they barely know you and delving right into some kind of intense 'relationship' - especially the kind that involves putting rules and limitations on your real life time and freedom, please be very cautious and skeptical.
Take your time and really get to know someone before you jump in with both feet. And also - if you only intend on keeping it online, it's important to be realistic about the fate of your connection - the 'players' are very aware of this and are grateful that it's much easier to disappear online than in real life. It's all gratification for them and then when they're done - they just move on and let the chips fall where they may. Their parting thoughts are probably along the lines of "well, we were role playing, weren't we? I thought you knew that too." They are either clueless about the pain they might have caused someone who really *was* invested in it or they are just too cowardly to be respectful about handling a 'breakup' and look for the easiest way out. Most people that have been hurt will probably be able to look back on it and see the warning signs they chose to dismiss. Listen carefully to your gut feeling and intuition along the way - they're usually right.
I only let myself get very close to one guy I originally connected with on here and years later we are still very close (in an offline way).
Just remember to take your time and don't drop your defences and don't be too eager to drink the kool-aid. Your time is valuable, and someone should be willing (and interested) in earning your respect and the right to become part of your world - that goes for both online and off.
I was going to chime in, but then the wonderful DD posted.
All that I had planned would be redundant.
I'll just add that, like the real world, some people just take enjoyment out of the troubles of others. THey get off on it. Usually, their own lives were fucked up, so their goal in life is to make as many people as possible join in their misery.
I like to think I'm good at spotting the BSers, being a king of bullshitting myself. I try not to take things too seriously on here, despite there being some awesome people on here I wouldn't mind meeting.
My philosophy is how I make friends in real life. You have to be pretty damn special to enter my circle of trust and friendship. I already have had the greatest friends in real life. I can be picky and choosy on here.
We're all here for fun anyway right? Some people, like DD said, get involved too early, too fast. Not good IRL, and certainly not good online.
DD said it all very well. I would have just said "don't get involved online" - but you know, the same thing could happen in real life.
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Yes, Dancing_Doll really did say it best. What makes me cringe the most is to see people make public spectacles of themselves and jump from e-relationship to e-relationship. And then it goes sour and friendships become divided and it's all a big mess.
This happens especially in chat, from what I've observed directly. Not picking on the BDSM community, but I see new subs being 'owned' and masters switching subs faster than you can blink. It has to be the biggest humiliation to just have all your 'feelings' displayed so publicly, only to realize that something's off or not meant to be.
That's actually why I always question the authenticity of such public displays. I get being proud to be with someone, but when you try too hard, I almost always think you're overcompensating. It makes me cringe because I know in just a short time that's all gonna fade away and you're left, quite publicly, to pick up the pieces. I mean it can be just the same in real life with bad relationships, but online, everyone knows, and the words follow you everywhere.
But yeah, it sucks having your emotions fucked with. And not to take sides or anything, but being that this is Lush and just the internet in general, people may get involved in something thinking it's casual...and then a strong emotional attachment develops that you really don't reciprocate, so I understand cutting things short when they reach that point. But don't continue to egg something on when you know you don't feel the same. That's just fucked.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
I mean REALLY folks? Does anyone really think they can know someone enough to love them or be loved by them just by sharing an internet connection?
I'm probably not gonna be very popular for saying this but you'd have to be pretty desperate to allow yourself to believe that.
I certainly DO think it's a great way to meet people and arrange a face to face meeting and I've already been there a few times.
I'll venture something else... WAAAAAY more than half the people here on Lush that claim that they're posting their own pictures online aren't really using their own and they're so full of lies that you have NO CLUE who or what they are...
Guard your heart folks...
I haven't even mentioned the stalkers that certainly cruise the net constantly looking for gullible lonely hearts. These people are PROS and they have no feelings and they're experts at manipulation....
BEWARE!!! Danger Will Robinson!!! Danger! Danger!
Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.... ;)
Thanks to all that replied and gave input, .........do appreciate it !!!!!
Neil
I doubt most people do it on purpose; yes, some people just see the people on here as things rather than people but I like to believe that's the minority. The rest aren't playing with your emotions on purpose, probably just misunderstanding what you mean and the confusion causes things to be said that aren't meant, then as they realize what they said was wrong w/e they try to make up for it, which just makes things worse.
I've found that when people are playing on my emotions, that it's partly my fault. I came here to get away from the emotional stress of it all. Only to find myself looking for certain individuals, then being upset that they're not available. I had to take a reality check on myself. Said that to say, I would not put all the blame on the other person.
some maybe to get even for what someone did to them.
some because they think its a macho thing to do, or a machoess (if there be such a thing)
very few just for the heck of it!
anyone one is untruthful about themselves - in their profile on here or such - that becomes a cheat, and what would you expect from one like that - you cannot as they say, tell one lie!
Yea I wish people wouldn't play with our emotions but they do and they really don't care. I have had my emotions played with too many times and if I feel it happening now they are blocked. Yea I have thought of creating a new profile sometimes but why should I. Just block the fool. I have logged in and many times see someone on and they log off when I hop on. Once ya shrug it off but multiple times and the same person it really gets you thinking.