My dad treats her like shit and is just a complete asshole, claiming that she is cheating on him and that everything she does it wrong. Just a real asshole. She has been talking about leaving him for weeks now and it has gotten so bad that she slept on the couch the other night just because she didn't want to be near him. Today we had a long talk about it and how I would move in with her and help her pay for an apartment and stuff and she said that today was the day she was going to finally tell him. Once she went to bed my dad came up a few minutes later and it wasn't long before I heard them having sex. My question is why would she have sex with him? Was she just lying to me about divorcing him? Thanks for any advice you guys can give me, it is much appreciated.
That's actually none of your business, so reduce your own stress and let them work it out amongst themselves.
But she came to me and talks to me about it. I know that them doing their thing is none of my business but it just confused me.
animal instinct and need
verses
rational thinking and needs
I agree, it is none of your business. And yes, it is probably pure need and animal instinct.
As for your mother coming to you and talking about it with you; I advise telling her "It is none of my business. I love you, but you should not be talking to me about this." Those things are best talked to friends about and not your children/parents.
Everyone is right, it really isn't your business.
But, ending a marriage is a very difficult decision, even when the marriage is awful.
Before I left my husband I had moved out of our bedroom. He knew I was leaving him and yet we still would fuck occasionally. Sometimes there is that basic need that you just want filled and that familiar person is still there. Also, divorcing someone, doesn't mean you no longer care about them (even if you don't want to).
I maybe wrong but I think the replies before are way off. If a parent can't confide in an adult child then it's sad. You know better than anybody what the situation is like. Maybe your mother doesn't feel strog enough to break away, if your father is very controlling she probably has a problem with her confidence. As far as the sex goes if she is submissive she may have given in to him if that's what she's used to. My only advice is to support her and be there for her whatever her decision.
Thanks for all of your advice, I'm just going to tell her that I don't want to be involved in it if she tries to talk to me about it again.
The only reason that I think your mom shouldn't speak to you about it is because of your level of confusion over this situation. You should definitely ask her to no longer disclose that part of her relationship with you. It's not something that she should put you through.
Agreed. For a parent to discuss this sort of thing with a child(even as an adult) is wrong. The other parent will always be your dad too. And to say such things puts you in the middle. And that's wrong of her. It's not that she can't, as was said, but that morally it's a line she should never cross.
As for fucking, my ex left me for another woman. It was as bitter and hateful as you can imagine. And three weeks later we fucked like teenagers, all the while I was thinking how much I hated him. Sex and feelings can be complicated. Particularly when there is a history there.
Fucking is a physical act only...sometimes unchecked by emotions. Unfortunately you had a conversation with your mom. I would not get caught up in the middle of a this. Remember, both are your parents
my wife and I split up several times but I would still stop by and if there wasn't anyone else there with her ( a boyfriend) then we would fuck. sometimes I would come back after she had fucked her boyfriend and fuck her, we always kept fucking each other, and we're still together so who knows.