Recently, people have begun trying to describe there sexual exploits, discuss relationship problems or other such topics. Typically as soon as they start, I demand they to stop, frequently by saying "shut up, I don't wanna know." as I do not want to hear about their latest sexual conquest or deal with their relationship problems. Several have called me "rude" or "a bad friend." Anybody else been in this position, and how do they deal, also is it rude/being a bad friend that I do this?
And I've only begun fucking with you people.
At the end of the day, it's all math.
Saying "shut up" is almost always rude. There are lots of other, less confrontational ways of saying you don't want to hear that stuff. "Please, I really don't want to hear that stuff" or "I'm uncomfortable talking about this with you" are immediately, big steps up from "shut up".
"shut up" is the younger generation's catch phrase, which as one advances in age and experience, is just plain rude. If one of my friends said "shut up, etc" to me ... I would be offended!
I agree with Monocle that his suggestions are terrific, especially this one: "I'm uncomfortable about discussing this."
Quote by Ace1047 Recently, people have begun trying to describe there sexual exploits, discuss relationship problems or other such topics. Typically as soon as they start, I demand they to stop, frequently by saying "shut up, I don't wanna know." as I do not want to hear about their latest sexual conquest or deal with their relationship problems. Several have called me "rude" or "a bad friend." Anybody else been in this position, and how do they deal, also is it rude/being a bad friend that I do this?
Do I think it's rude, slightly. Maybe "stop, I don't wanna know" is better. However if they call you rude or a bad friend, point out that you don't discuss your sex life and you don't want to discuss their sex life either.
Yes, it is rude. Why do you have them as friends if you don't give a damn about their lives? You could simply say, "You know I am not very good at listening to these kinds of issues." I wouldn't be friends with someone who talked to me that way, it is disrespectful and dismissive. They have told you it is rude. They have said you are a bad friend. What more evidence do you need?
Quote by Ace1047 Recently, people have begun trying to describe there sexual exploits, discuss relationship problems or other such topics. Typically as soon as they start, I demand they to stop, frequently by saying "shut up, I don't wanna know." as I do not want to hear about their latest sexual conquest or deal with their relationship problems. Several have called me "rude" or "a bad friend." Anybody else been in this position, and how do they deal, also is it rude/being a bad friend that I do this?
Quote by Ace1047 Recently, people have begun trying to describe there sexual exploits, discuss relationship problems or other such topics. Typically as soon as they start, I demand they to stop, frequently by saying "shut up, I don't wanna know." as I do not want to hear about their latest sexual conquest or deal with their relationship problems. Several have called me "rude" or "a bad friend." Anybody else been in this position, and how do they deal, also is it rude/being a bad friend that I do this?
Bottom line, a good friend listens even if they don't have any advice to give because sometimes people just need to talk. I agree, you're a bad friend. If they are being whiney then you can tell them that in a kind way. People like having someone to talk to and that is usually a friend. If you're not up for listening when they need someone to talk to and are going to be rude to them, don't make friends in the first place.
Of course it's rude. But we all think it at some point. And sure as a good friend, you should listen. But sometimes listening gets you more than you bargained for. Sometimes you're just not in the mood. And sure, if I were a good friend, I'd listen regardless of all of this. But on the other hand, if they were a good friend, they'd understand that at just that particular moment in time, I don't want to listen. We all have our limits, and it certainly doesn't make you a bad friend.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to deal with another friend's problems. But there's a way to express this to that friend. Just be up front and say so...without the rudeness. Sometimes they're more tired of hearing themselves complain than you are.
Quote by Ace1047 Recently, people have begun trying to describe there sexual exploits, discuss relationship problems or other such topics. Typically as soon as they start, I demand they to stop, frequently by saying "shut up, I don't wanna know." as I do not want to hear about their latest sexual conquest or deal with their relationship problems. Several have called me "rude" or "a bad friend." Anybody else been in this position, and how do they deal, also is it rude/being a bad friend that I do this?
Shut up, I don't wanna know.
Was that rude to you?
Edit : LOL, I just checked back on that thread and realized MarinePilot already pulled that prank.
Eh - my friends were like that. I couldn't stand it. Not because I had some aversion to sex (obviously not) but because they expected me to share the same detail. Not happening.
My sex life would have made their eyes melt out of their sockets - Odds are, they would have thought of me differently if they heard any of it.
They were also very peppy and upbeat - imagine Blossom Russo and Syx talking a lot about sex with some sort of upbeat, peppy attitude and "Oh - I touched a penis! Oh my God - I touched a penis!" attitude.
They were annoying when it came to sex conversations. A little to cheery, a little to sparky for me. That was highschool
The last time I was around any of them was about seven years ago - long after high school days. They still had the same attitude, and they sat in the basement of their house making out with their boyfriends in front of my husband and my kids.
Yeah, I think saying that we were different species from different planets would probably cover it. Considering other things that happened after I left that town - I'm glad I didn't tell them anything about me.
I once drove an older man to pick up a car from an auction. All the way there, he kept telling me about his girlfriends. I doubt any of them was recent, and they might even have been ficticious. I responded with a hard-on, as though I was reading a really good skin-novel. I was embarrassed, not by his stories, but that I was hard, and that if he had asked me to I'd have been on him in a minute - even though he was about 40 years older than me.
Quote by Ace1047 Recently, people have begun trying to describe there sexual exploits, discuss relationship problems or other such topics. Typically as soon as they start, I demand they to stop, frequently by saying "shut up, I don't wanna know." as I do not want to hear about their latest sexual conquest or deal with their relationship problems. Several have called me "rude" or "a bad friend." Anybody else been in this position, and how do they deal, also is it rude/being a bad friend that I do this?
I don't agree with saying 'shut up', but I don't think it's rude to tell 'people', even if it is a friend, you don't want to hear about their sexual exploits specifically. Whether it's my best friend or just a friend, I still don't want to know that information. I wouldn't consider you a 'bad friend' either if you didn't want to listen to my relationship problems. Some people just don't want to get involved in that kind of thing.
