Active Ink Slinger
If your spouse/GF/BF were to tell you: "I do not enjoy sex, I never have, and probably never will. So you will have to settle for once a month IF the idea appeals to me." How would you react? How would you reply?
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How would you react?
Active Ink Slinger
back off, try to make them feel comfortable and maybe learn differently
Cryptic Vigilante
Pretty much a deal breaker for me, seriously. Not only does she not enjoy sex, but the way you present it also seems to imply she lied about it for quite a while. No complicity, no care.
Active Ink Slinger
100% inapplicable in my case. However, hypothetically...some serious counseling, and probably divorce.
Also, did you rob a bank prior to, or immediately after, this post?
Also, did you rob a bank prior to, or immediately after, this post?
Quote by mrlobo505
If your spouse/GF/BF were to tell you: "I do not enjoy sex, I never have, and probably never will. So you will have to settle for once a month IF the idea appeals to me." How would you react? How would you reply?
LOL - if my husband actually said THAT I'd know he was lying his ass off . . . and would suspect him of cheating.
I'm not like these spouses who just back off of sex because their partner doesn't want it as if it's okay to do that to someone all of a sudden.
You know - if I'm not horny and turned on, I can still have and enjoy sex. You don't have to be over the top crazed with hormones to enjoy the intimacy of it. He could at least do the same for me
or I'll begin to wonder if it's me - and I'll spiral downward.I don't think I could cope with sexual rejection.
Active Ink Slinger
My husband use almost those exact word.. He said his only sexual enjoyment was masturbating some.....
Wise Ass
Quote by mrlobo505
If your spouse/GF/BF were to tell you: "I do not enjoy sex, I never have, and probably never will. So you will have to settle for once a month IF the idea appeals to me." How would you react? How would you reply?
Do like I did and divorce her, fucking bitch got the dogs!
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker
[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Quote by mrlobo505
If your spouse/GF/BF were to tell you: "I do not enjoy sex, I never have, and probably never will. So you will have to settle for once a month IF the idea appeals to me." How would you react? How would you reply?
I would assume my partner wasn't able to face up and tell me the truth.
The truth would be "You no longer excite me, this relationship has run out of steam and it's over" or "I've been seeing someone else and I want to be with them more than you", or there could be a medical, physical or psychological reason behind it.
Either way, you need to get to the truth, even if it hurts.
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by Dudealicious
Do like I did and divorce her, fucking bitch got the dogs!
So your bitch took your bitches? Dude...that's like bitchception.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by FitBusinessPro
100% inapplicable in my case. However, hypothetically...some serious counseling, and probably divorce.
Also, did you rob a bank prior to, or immediately after, this post?
lol no just asking a hypothetical lol
Wise Ass
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
So your bitch took your bitches? Dude...that's like bitchception.
Yep it's totally bitchtastic!
The night that changed my life, a four part series of a married man lusting after his co-worker
[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]
Cheeky Chick
I couldn’t be in a sexless relationship. It’s far from the most important thing, but it’s a factor in a relationship. At least one I’m involved in.
Rookie Scribe
Active Ink Slinger
I don't think that would ever happen, but, I'd be distraught. Sex ( especially the really slow, appreciating each others bodies sorta stuff) is one of the ways I show love to my partner. So to me, that would hurt. But not only that, sex is a HUGE part of a relationship IMO. And without it, there's not much feeling left in it.
Raised on Blackroot
Quote by Poppet
I couldn’t be in a sexless relationship. It’s far from the most important thing, but it’s a factor in a relationship. At least one I’m involved in.
She has it right for me...
A physical, intimate bond is key to me. Sex isn't everything, particularly later in life, but young and in love?
Yea. The girl wouldn't be a keeper without sex.
Although my has wife has never uttered those exact words, she has told me she doesn't really enjoy sex and certainly has no desire to want it as much as me. I don't think she actually realises how much it hurts to hear her say that because unfortunately she thinks I'm the pervert for liking and wanting it. I love her and we've been married 15 years with an 8 year old daughter so I'm obviously going to do everything I can to make it work, but that does tend to mean I wear a painted smile, it's not easy.
Active Ink Slinger
I know this isn't exactly answering the question, but I thought some perspective from the other side might help.
Shortly after the birth of my son I went through a really hard time where I just did not have a sex drive. At all. Like wasn't turned on, ever. Couldn't get wet when I tried to have sex (and then it just HURTS... so like you're going to want to try again...)
I found out that the birth control and the anti-depressants I was on were KNOWN for lowering libido. (I usually had a pretty good sex drive before this, my husband and I would have sex once a week... sometimes more sometimes less, depending.)
So I switched both kinds and now my sex drive is back to normal. (And then some! Fuck, I'm hornier than my husband some days!... Wellbutrin baby, wellbutrin... seriously. Check. That. Shit. Out.)
Just saying, it's a possibility that if all of a sudden they're coming to you saying they don't enjoy sex or you've noticed a drop in his/her libido... sometimes there's more to it than just not enjoying sex.
So get thee to a doctor STAT!
... and happy sexing.
Shortly after the birth of my son I went through a really hard time where I just did not have a sex drive. At all. Like wasn't turned on, ever. Couldn't get wet when I tried to have sex (and then it just HURTS... so like you're going to want to try again...)
I found out that the birth control and the anti-depressants I was on were KNOWN for lowering libido. (I usually had a pretty good sex drive before this, my husband and I would have sex once a week... sometimes more sometimes less, depending.)
So I switched both kinds and now my sex drive is back to normal. (And then some! Fuck, I'm hornier than my husband some days!... Wellbutrin baby, wellbutrin... seriously. Check. That. Shit. Out.)
Just saying, it's a possibility that if all of a sudden they're coming to you saying they don't enjoy sex or you've noticed a drop in his/her libido... sometimes there's more to it than just not enjoying sex.
So get thee to a doctor STAT!
... and happy sexing.
Active Ink Slinger
More than a few trips to a pharmacy for tissues and lubricant. Completely not a deal-breaker for me. When it comes to a relationship, I'm more in it for friendship than for sex.
And I've only begun fucking with you people.
At the end of the day, it's all math.
At the end of the day, it's all math.
![http://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]](https://www.lushstories.com/stories/reluctance/the-night-that-changed-my-life-1.aspx][IMG]http://i.imgur.com/WPPsy.jpg[/IMG][/URL]){kind=link}
There is no easy answer here. If it was me I would be try and find out what the problem is as it could be a deep seated one due to something unsavoury happening in the past .If that is the case then some medical professional could help along with counselling .Also remember there is more to a relationship than just sex.
Active Ink Slinger
That is the benefit of sex on the first date and every date after the first.
I would think it would eliminate those that have a different sex need than you do.
But then I have never traveled to the point of possible permanency with any guy.
I would think it would eliminate those that have a different sex need than you do.
But then I have never traveled to the point of possible permanency with any guy.
Active Ink Slinger
I would be very hurt
How would I react? I'd be really bummed for my partner. And i'd be super bummed for "us". I tend to really care about my partners, and it would make me feel pretty shitty if the person who means so much to me wasn't enjoying the sexual connection.
I'd find a good time to talk about it to understand what's going on. I'd have a lot of questions. I'd want to know if they've never enjoyed sex? Was this something that just came on? Something unique to our relationship?
It certainly does happen that two people's natural sexual drive is mismatched. And sure, there are physiological factors that can kill sex drive.
But I've also personally seen plenty of relationships where after the breakup the person with the supposed low level sex drive has a sudden "awakening" and goes on a sex tear.
So my first action, in reaction, would be to find out what's going on, and then take it form there.
I'd find a good time to talk about it to understand what's going on. I'd have a lot of questions. I'd want to know if they've never enjoyed sex? Was this something that just came on? Something unique to our relationship?
It certainly does happen that two people's natural sexual drive is mismatched. And sure, there are physiological factors that can kill sex drive.
But I've also personally seen plenty of relationships where after the breakup the person with the supposed low level sex drive has a sudden "awakening" and goes on a sex tear.
So my first action, in reaction, would be to find out what's going on, and then take it form there.
Rainbow Warrior
I'd say: "You've been putting on a pretty good act for 15 years then!" I don't see that ever happening, but he knows I have others with whom to fill the void.
Advanced Wordsmith
If it's not a spouse, I would not expect the relationship to be sustainable. In the case of a wedded partner, I would ask to seek joint counselling to better understand the circumstances. If it's purely a matter of preference, then I would be asking if my spouse is willing to submit to my having a sex life independent of our marriage, since that was one of the covenents of that contract that he is no longer willing to support. If the answer to that is No, I would have to seek separation from the spouse, since that condition simply would not work for me.
I realize that the frequency sex is something that not all spouses agree upon, but what is described herein is extremely limiting and seemingly serves only one side. It is my understanding that sometimes these are just windows of time that some marriages pass through. But, I don't understand why, if it seems "henceforth" that one partner would just forego sex entirely. In that instance, if it's important to BOTH parties to stay together and one of the partners refuses to participate in a reasonable sexual relationship AND continues to expect/require exlusivitity, well, that just doesn't make any sense to me.
So, there you have it, one more opinion. Best of luck to you. Don't discount your own happiness, listen to what your spouse is saying and grasp the short and longterm implications of it. Decide what you feel is best for your longterm happiness and pursue whatever means necessary to achieve it.
I realize that the frequency sex is something that not all spouses agree upon, but what is described herein is extremely limiting and seemingly serves only one side. It is my understanding that sometimes these are just windows of time that some marriages pass through. But, I don't understand why, if it seems "henceforth" that one partner would just forego sex entirely. In that instance, if it's important to BOTH parties to stay together and one of the partners refuses to participate in a reasonable sexual relationship AND continues to expect/require exlusivitity, well, that just doesn't make any sense to me.
So, there you have it, one more opinion. Best of luck to you. Don't discount your own happiness, listen to what your spouse is saying and grasp the short and longterm implications of it. Decide what you feel is best for your longterm happiness and pursue whatever means necessary to achieve it.
Active Ink Slinger
Not wasting my happiness on her....ive sacrificed for relationships before only to find it's a waste of time...if you're not getting what you want, leave