If your spouse/GF/BF were to tell you: "I do not enjoy sex, I never have, and probably never will. So you will have to settle for once a month IF the idea appeals to me." How would you react? How would you reply?
back off, try to make them feel comfortable and maybe learn differently
Pretty much a deal breaker for me, seriously. Not only does she not enjoy sex, but the way you present it also seems to imply she lied about it for quite a while. No complicity, no care.
100% inapplicable in my case. However, hypothetically...some serious counseling, and probably divorce.
Also, did you rob a bank prior to, or immediately after, this post?
My husband use almost those exact word.. He said his only sexual enjoyment was masturbating some.....
I couldn’t be in a sexless relationship. It’s far from the most important thing, but it’s a factor in a relationship. At least one I’m involved in.
I don't think that would ever happen, but, I'd be distraught. Sex ( especially the really slow, appreciating each others bodies sorta stuff) is one of the ways I show love to my partner. So to me, that would hurt. But not only that, sex is a HUGE part of a relationship IMO. And without it, there's not much feeling left in it.
Although my has wife has never uttered those exact words, she has told me she doesn't really enjoy sex and certainly has no desire to want it as much as me. I don't think she actually realises how much it hurts to hear her say that because unfortunately she thinks I'm the pervert for liking and wanting it. I love her and we've been married 15 years with an 8 year old daughter so I'm obviously going to do everything I can to make it work, but that does tend to mean I wear a painted smile, it's not easy.
More than a few trips to a pharmacy for tissues and lubricant. Completely not a deal-breaker for me. When it comes to a relationship, I'm more in it for friendship than for sex.
And I've only begun fucking with you people.
At the end of the day, it's all math.
Pull out a doll and ask her who touched her and where.
I wouldn't bother w/ them.
There is no easy answer here. If it was me I would be try and find out what the problem is as it could be a deep seated one due to something unsavoury happening in the past .If that is the case then some medical professional could help along with counselling .Also remember there is more to a relationship than just sex.
That is the benefit of sex on the first date and every date after the first.
I would think it would eliminate those that have a different sex need than you do.
But then I have never traveled to the point of possible permanency with any guy.
How would I react? I'd be really bummed for my partner. And i'd be super bummed for "us". I tend to really care about my partners, and it would make me feel pretty shitty if the person who means so much to me wasn't enjoying the sexual connection.
I'd find a good time to talk about it to understand what's going on. I'd have a lot of questions. I'd want to know if they've never enjoyed sex? Was this something that just came on? Something unique to our relationship?
It certainly does happen that two people's natural sexual drive is mismatched. And sure, there are physiological factors that can kill sex drive.
But I've also personally seen plenty of relationships where after the breakup the person with the supposed low level sex drive has a sudden "awakening" and goes on a sex tear.
So my first action, in reaction, would be to find out what's going on, and then take it form there.
I'd say: "You've been putting on a pretty good act for 15 years then!" I don't see that ever happening, but he knows I have others with whom to fill the void.
If it's not a spouse, I would not expect the relationship to be sustainable. In the case of a wedded partner, I would ask to seek joint counselling to better understand the circumstances. If it's purely a matter of preference, then I would be asking if my spouse is willing to submit to my having a sex life independent of our marriage, since that was one of the covenents of that contract that he is no longer willing to support. If the answer to that is No, I would have to seek separation from the spouse, since that condition simply would not work for me.
I realize that the frequency sex is something that not all spouses agree upon, but what is described herein is extremely limiting and seemingly serves only one side. It is my understanding that sometimes these are just windows of time that some marriages pass through. But, I don't understand why, if it seems "henceforth" that one partner would just forego sex entirely. In that instance, if it's important to BOTH parties to stay together and one of the partners refuses to participate in a reasonable sexual relationship AND continues to expect/require exlusivitity, well, that just doesn't make any sense to me.
So, there you have it, one more opinion. Best of luck to you. Don't discount your own happiness, listen to what your spouse is saying and grasp the short and longterm implications of it. Decide what you feel is best for your longterm happiness and pursue whatever means necessary to achieve it.
Could work if both parties have low sex drives .Otherwise there could be a problem and needs to be discussed.
Not wasting my happiness on her....ive sacrificed for relationships before only to find it's a waste of time...if you're not getting what you want, leave
or I'll begin to wonder if it's me - and I'll spiral downward.
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