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Exclusivity within a cyber-relationship. A promise taken seriously or not?
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Active Ink Slinger
One I would take seriously. I would expect that we each would honor the guidelines we set forth at the beginning of the relationship. I have no tolerance for liars or cheaters, either real life or online. Once discovered, they are removed as even friends.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by trinket
Let's say you have an online cyber-sex relationship. You have agreed to be exclusive to each other online. Do you take this cyber-commitment as seriously as you would a commitment In "real life? Would you be very hurt if you found out your online partner had cyber-cheated? Or do you agree to something like online fidelity without really having any intention to be cyber-faithful for whatever reason?
I mean exclusive only online. Real life sex doesn't enter into it at all.
I'm not poking fun at cyber-relationships. I'm genuinely curious.
no, I don't think I can.. one offered, can't take it seriously to even consider it..
could complicate a lot of things like other guys I regularly roleplay with..
and it's hard to believe that "exclusivity" is even possible online..
She's mad, but she's magic. There's no lie in her fire. ~ Charles Bukowski
Chat Moderator
I had a very intense cyber relationship once. It moved off line and we developed mutual feelings for each other. However, we lived in different countries and while we both wanted exclusivity, we knew it wasn't realistic. It took us 6 months to hit a wall, which in cyber world, feels like 2 years. I wonder how things would have been if distance were not a factor.
My view is that if two people decide to enter into an exclusive wanking relationship, that it should be honoured. Otherwise, if one person promises to be exclusive and isn't, then that is deceit- and I hate deceit in all it's forms
That being said, I'm not sure why anyone would enter into such a relationship, unless there was an intense emotional connection and the opportunity for a real life relationship?
I haven't cybered with all my friends, but I have with many, and I tell them all that there will no 'exclusivity'. I'm here to have fun and, occasionally, masturbate. If I have a friend online who, at the same time as me, also wants to masturbate then great- whoever that friend may be!
I'm honest with them all, and give them all the opportunity to not play with me if they don't want to.
That being said, I'm not sure why anyone would enter into such a relationship, unless there was an intense emotional connection and the opportunity for a real life relationship?
I haven't cybered with all my friends, but I have with many, and I tell them all that there will no 'exclusivity'. I'm here to have fun and, occasionally, masturbate. If I have a friend online who, at the same time as me, also wants to masturbate then great- whoever that friend may be!
I'm honest with them all, and give them all the opportunity to not play with me if they don't want to.
Active Ink Slinger
A promise is a promise, no matter what type of relationship it is.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by trinketI see a difference there too. Maybe not the same difference Nia sees, but here are my two cents on it:
I don't understand what you mean when you say cyber-sex relationships and online relationships are not the same thing. Could you explain why you think they are different?
Cyber-sex relationships are a bit like the people you call, when you want sex without commitment, friends with benefits at best. Exclusivity is not common in relationships like that, because there is no commitment.
An online relationship, in my humble opinion, is more serious. It's more like the online version of seriously dating someone, which is a kind of relationship where exclusivity, unless agreed otherwise, is rather standard.
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In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.
Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
Kiss My Wiggleass Baby
If you both enter into the relationship, whatever it is, with the expectation that it is exclusive to you both then I'd say that is a promise to be taken seriously. There are a lot of people on here that just need a cyber wank and if that's the case then go for it. But if you find that connection with someone else it does become more that just that. Of course it isn't real life and probably in a lot of cases it will eventually fizzle but there are some that go from strength to strength and become more than on-line. If I promise exclusivity then I mean it, I cant answer for others though.
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The Linebacker
Cyber relationships are cyber – online. Not physical in real life. I don't do cyber sex. I never have. I don't have any desire for that. But I do like making friends and talking about all kinds of things, life stuff, interests, etc. But cyber love, etc.? You can never know someone that way unless you have real life, in person, face-to-face, physical interaction. So why let it get out of hand?
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Quote by Buz
Cyber relationships are cyber – online. Not physical in real life. I don't do cyber sex. I never have. I don't have any desire for that. But I do like making friends and talking about all kinds of things, life stuff, interests, etc. But cyber love, etc.? You can never know someone that way unless you have real life, in person, face-to-face, physical interaction. So why let it get out of hand?
Apologies Buz .. but that bit made me laugh! .. my hand always has a firm grip
. Quote by simplyjohn
Apologies Buz .. but that bit made me laugh! .. my hand always has a firm grip
SJ get your mind out the gutter
You mean your hand always has a firm grip on your wallet
and your steak knife right?? The Duchess of Tart
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And my latest poem, The Temptation.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Please check out my new story, co-written with the amazing Wilful.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/straight-sex/long-time-coming.aspx
And my latest poem, The Temptation.
https://www.lushstories.com/stories/erotic-poems/the-temptation.aspx
Just me
Quote by wonderway
One I would take seriously. I would expect that we each would honor the guidelines we set forth at the beginning of the relationship. I have no tolerance for liars or cheaters, either real life or online. Once discovered, they are removed as even friends.
I have to agree, I have been cheated on and it about destroyed me. Be honest , if you want someone else, tell me, don't cheat!
It took a long time to build that trust up again and enter into another relationship. But with Milik I have no fear of that, our relationship is built on total trust and knowing the man he is.
So yes I take it very seriously.
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Candyland Kitten
A promise is a promise. Whether it is made to someone online or made to someone that you can touch and feel in real life, it is a verbal agreement that you make with another person. And when a promise is broken it would naturally result in the same feelings regardless of whether you are in a physical relationship with that person.
As far as I'm concerned it's no different than making a promise to someone who is moving half way around the world to serve overseas, or those going off to college, or a job assignment. Aren't they as obligated to keep promises made or else risk hurt feelings and permanent damage to the relationship? If you do not feel that you can take the promise as seriously simply because you haven't seem them in flesh and blood then it is very simple really...don't make the promise.
I understand that some view cyber relationships as a different caliber than an online relationship so if that is your view then they should let the other person know. Those that don't are the same as a real-life cheater in my opinion. The sad reality is that the cheater mentality is all too common both online and in real life. Trusting anyone is a risk and sometimes doesn't pay off. And trusting someone online is a bigger risk because it allows those who want to cheat unlimited opportunities to do so. But, when you find someone who is trust-worthy, then it can be the biggest payoff of your life.
As far as I'm concerned it's no different than making a promise to someone who is moving half way around the world to serve overseas, or those going off to college, or a job assignment. Aren't they as obligated to keep promises made or else risk hurt feelings and permanent damage to the relationship? If you do not feel that you can take the promise as seriously simply because you haven't seem them in flesh and blood then it is very simple really...don't make the promise.
I understand that some view cyber relationships as a different caliber than an online relationship so if that is your view then they should let the other person know. Those that don't are the same as a real-life cheater in my opinion. The sad reality is that the cheater mentality is all too common both online and in real life. Trusting anyone is a risk and sometimes doesn't pay off. And trusting someone online is a bigger risk because it allows those who want to cheat unlimited opportunities to do so. But, when you find someone who is trust-worthy, then it can be the biggest payoff of your life.
Creator
Quote by Simplicity
I have to agree, I have been cheated on and it about destroyed me. Be honest , if you want someone else, tell me, don't cheat!
It took a long time to build that trust up again and enter into another relationship. But with Milik I have no fear of that, our relationship is built on total trust and knowing the man he is.
So yes I take it very seriously.
I couldn't have said it better myself.
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Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Mr_Misunderstood
A promise is a promise, no matter what type of relationship it is.
Exactly.
I voted 'yes', simply because I think that if you make a promise, it should be kept. That said, I'm afraid I'm somewhat at a loss here. Exclusivity? On a web site like this? To me, that doesn't make sense. If you are exclusive, shouldn't you have only one friend? THE one? How can you be 'owned'? Or if you are owned, or exclusive, can you have multiple friends but only supposed to indulge in sex talk (or action) with only one person? Considering the nature of this site, that seems highly unlikely. It's rather like saying "I work in a brothel, but really only fuck you darling" (My apologies to Nicola). If I'm confused, put it down to old age and creeping senility.
That said, thanks to Kiera, SJ et al for the banter. I've read through this thread from the start and the interaction a couple of years ago and again just recently had me laughing my head off. You two are a constant source of chuckles for me. Thankyou.
That said, thanks to Kiera, SJ et al for the banter. I've read through this thread from the start and the interaction a couple of years ago and again just recently had me laughing my head off. You two are a constant source of chuckles for me. Thankyou.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by cooldaddyI think the comparison to a brothel is somewhat off. Yes, Lush is basically a sex site, but unlike a brothel, it's not a place that only attracts people, who are simply looking to have sex. Of course many here do, but there are a lot of members, who come here to share and read stories and poetry, or to enjoy all kinds of interaction, that have nothing to do with cybersex. People debate, joke and like in offline life, they flirt and fall in love. And sometimes they decide, that what they have together is fulfilling enough, to fully commit to each other, online and sometimes even offline.
I voted 'yes', simply because I think that if you make a promise, it should be kept. That said, I'm afraid I'm somewhat at a loss here. Exclusivity? On a web site like this? To me, that doesn't make sense. If you are exclusive, shouldn't you have only one friend? THE one? How can you be 'owned'? Or if you are owned, or exclusive, can you have multiple friends but only supposed to indulge in sex talk (or action) with only one person? Considering the nature of this site, that seems highly unlikely. It's rather like saying "I work in a brothel, but really only fuck you darling" (My apologies to Nicola). If I'm confused, put it down to old age and creeping senility.
A little kindness can be so valuable, yet costs almost nothing
In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.
Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
In many countries being gay is a crime, and even in modern societies, politicians try to legalise discrimination. Your voice can make a difference. Have a look at All Out to find out how.
Hey... pssst.... that's an l (as in luscious) at the end of my name, not an i
Quote by Buz
Cyber relationships are cyber – online. Not physical in real life. I don't do cyber sex. I never have. I don't have any desire for that. But I do like making friends and talking about all kinds of things, life stuff, interests, etc. But cyber love, etc.? You can never know someone that way unless you have real life, in person, face-to-face, physical interaction. So why let it get out of hand?
My thoughts exactly. I myself have never done the online thing. Doubt I ever will. But if you're going to do it. Then yes if it is mutually promised that you will be faithful to each other. Then it should be kept.
Active Ink Slinger
If you are in an emotional relationship, regardless of on-line or IRL, then your word, or your promise, then you MUST keep it. If you feel you can't or won't be able to be exclusive in whatever form that relationship takes, then be honest and open about it up front, and let the other person know what they are getting into. If they can't trust your word, then there is no foundation for anything other than mutual wank-off, but at least you would both know that if you are honest about it.
The Bee's Knees
Quote by patokl
I see a difference there too. Maybe not the same difference Nia sees, but here are my two cents on it:
Cyber-sex relationships are a bit like the people you call, when you want sex without commitment, friends with benefits at best. Exclusivity is not common in relationships like that, because there is no commitment.
An online relationship, in my humble opinion, is more serious. It's more like the online version of seriously dating someone, which is a kind of relationship where exclusivity, unless agreed otherwise, is rather standard.
wow, forgot i even replied to this. yes, patokl, you're correct. i view 'online relationships' akin to seriously dating and purely 'cyber relationships' as fwb. in both i think you should be honest and follow any perimeters you decide to set.
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Southern Barefoot Angel
In any relationship whether online or RL If you make the commitment to be exclusive then you need to keep your word.
Active Ink Slinger
Online its difficult at best to have a "relationship", friends can hide unless they want you to see them, honesty from both people involved is a must for it to be a relationship.
In my experience online relationships or friends dont usually last too long
In my experience online relationships or friends dont usually last too long
Convict
I forgot I even started this thread. I thought the result would be an overwhelming "NO". I'm very surprised.
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Advanced Wordsmith
"Exclusivity within a cyber-relationship. A promise taken seriously or not? "
Cyber-relationships I believe are like real life ones for the most part. I have had some now that are over 10 years. Some became Cyber-sex and some became real meets and yes some very good sex. I would hope that a person could be honest for the most part. Yes it may be Cyber land, but there are real feeling out there also...........................
Cyber-relationships I believe are like real life ones for the most part. I have had some now that are over 10 years. Some became Cyber-sex and some became real meets and yes some very good sex. I would hope that a person could be honest for the most part. Yes it may be Cyber land, but there are real feeling out there also...........................