Dom or Sub?

2 Dec 2013

Do you think everyone has to fit one of those descriptions? I'm starting to wonder because I think my wife and I are both Sub. As a result, we spend a lot of time with neither of us taking the initiative and neither of us gets enough sex. Wondering if after 17 years, we should have never been together to begin with.

2 Dec 2013

Well perhaps you can convince her to invite A third party into the mix.The rite Dominatrix could satisfy you both.But one of you has to be bisexual in order for it to work. If not A female then A male may be the ticket. Be carefull in your choice & make sure the Dom knows your limits.After 17 years you & your wife should be able to talk this through. Good luck to you both. I hope you can work something out.

4 Dec 2013

Why are we all concerned with putting a lable on everything and everybody be who and what you are and enjoy

5 Dec 2013

Quote by loveupskirt
Do you think everyone has to fit one of those descriptions? I'm starting to wonder because I think my wife and I are both Sub. As a result, we spend a lot of time with neither of us taking the initiative and neither of us gets enough sex. Wondering if after 17 years, we should have never been together to begin with.

No, I don't think everyone has to fit into either Dom or sub. Many fall somewhere in the spectrum but not completely one or the other. It is much like sexuality in general.

The second part is, IMO, a different issue. To me it sounds more like two people just not communicating or wanting to give the other person what they desire or need. This happens a lot though, and even with couples who in all other aspects of their lives are very giving, caring, and loving. Sometimes it leads to the break up of the couple, sometimes to looking outside the relationship, and sometimes it just slowly kills the relationship on all other levels. Sex and sexual needs are important.

You can also have a sexual imbalance, where one party does all the giving to make sure the other one is satisfied, but then never gets THEIR needs met. This can be as harmful (of not more so) to a relationship as BOTH being unfulfilled.

I think it comes down to whether both people are willing to GIVE, even if when giving it does not meet THEIR needs or desires directly. IMO the act of giving and filling the needs of the other should be the reward and stimulation in itself. Heck, we see it in other areas in life (from going for a walk, to watching a movie or TV show, to type of food/meal, and countless other things) so why not sexually? I don't even believe that the desire/need should have to "turn on" both parties. As long as the act does not "turn off" or cause any mental issues, NOT doing it seems, to me, WRONG.

So I don't think the issue can be attributed to simply both being subs. What that issue IS, however, you must determine for yourself. Sometimes an honest examination of ourselves can give us the answers we are looking for. But we must be truly HONEST.

Good luck.

5 Dec 2013

I don't know if this is strange, but I can't make the first move. I am usually so happy that a woman is interested, that I will not want to push her boundaries by even offering a kiss at the end of a date. But once she breaks the barrier and we have been together intimately for a bit, I can enjoy being dominant. I hope that isn't too weird.

There is no 'tude like GeekItude!

5 Dec 2013

I don't know if I agree with you both being sub or maybe you both just are sort of lazy(forgive me am not being mean am REALLY trying to help)

I mean if I WANT sex I will start it

so if you WANT sex

start the process...

or ask her to do the THINGS you desire

GREAT sex comes from GREAT communication

smh.....

10 Dec 2013

I can be both quite easily

23 Dec 2013

Quote by thesexynun
I don't know if I agree with you both being sub or maybe you both just are sort of lazy(forgive me am not being mean am REALLY trying to help)

I mean if I WANT sex I will start it

so if you WANT sex

start the process...

or ask her to do the THINGS you desire

GREAT sex comes from GREAT communication

smh.....

Perfectly said and I will completely agree! =d>

Are you sure?