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Affairs

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Swollen
Active Ink Slinger
What, in your opinion, constitutes an extra-marital affair?

A one-night stand, an emotionally based relationship or both?

Can either ever be forgiven?
anthonyubme
Rookie Scribe
both, but they can be forgiven. although eating not cheating
Guest
Lurker
A one-night stand, an emotionally based relationship or both? - Yes to both

Can either ever be forgiven? - No to both
JefferyB
Active Ink Slinger
A one-night stand is simply that - one night. An affair is something that is on-going with plans to continue. An affair my have an emotional base or simply be the result of mutual lust. Maybe a need by one or both to have sexual relations that are not available at home.

Can they be forgiven? If the marital relationship is to continue, then yes, it must be forgiven. It should not be forgotten, but it should be forgiven if the marriage is worth keeping.
ToshLoveCC
Active Ink Slinger
A one night stand and an emotional relationship both equal an affair.

Neither can be truly forgiven.


ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
Cheating can be either or both. For a guy on a business trip to hook up just for sex is cheating.
For the neglected wife to take a lover because she is not emotionally be fulfilled is cheating.
Grey area is swinging with the knowledge of your spouse or shared sexual adventures.

Can infidelity be forgiven. Tough question. I think the act can be forgiven but I don't think broken trust is so readly restored. Many times the infidelity doesn't end up in divorce because of children, finances, or a desire for redemption. But reconciliation has to be something desired by both parties.

I have seen couples describe it as an act of indescretion, or refered to as a cheating whore bitch or bastard. I personally know a couple going through repairing their relationship. They both have admitted that the signs were there but they ignored them. They as a couple let their love life dwindle. He quit romancing her and she quit letting him know her needs. They are sharing blame and working on their marriage.
Meggsy
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by Swollen
What, in your opinion, constitutes an extra-marital affair?

A one-night stand, an emotionally based relationship or both?

Can either ever be forgiven?


Extra marital affair: Sex with other than your partner.

One Night stand: An opportunity taken, an experience to be gained, appreciated or regretted. It may or may not be emotional.

Forgiven: That is a question only the people involved can determine.
BeautifulSpirit
Active Ink Slinger
Both are cheating. No I won't forgive. I was cheated on. It tore my heart out. It has changed me forever.
Guest
Lurker
Quote by LadyAnnWest
A one-night stand, an emotionally based relationship or both? - Yes to both

Can either ever be forgiven? - No to both


As I see it a one night stand can be forgiven and maybe even a emotional based relationship if it is not on going.

It seems any sin can be forgiven if both want to make a fresh start and continue with their live together.
1lush
Active Ink Slinger
Having been on both sides of the coin and experiencing and committing both my answer is yes both can be considered cheating and be forgiven, but as to how many times its forgiven its a matter of the person who has been cheated on.
Guest
Lurker
Cheating? Yes, to both.

Forgivable? To some, but not to me. The second someone breaks a bond of trust with me, there is no way in hell it can be rebuilt.
realz
Active Ink Slinger
There's a whole lot of variability here.
I certainly wouldn't throw away a marriage over a fling or one night stand. Things happen, and as far as I'm concerned a quick physical thing does not really bother me. It's emotional loss that hurts.

If it were an affair where she fell in love with someone, then I'd have to let her go. I had that situation in the past and we parted peacefully.

Now if she drained my bank account to buy stuff for her boyfriend....
Unknown User
They are both cheating, it's just a matter of degree.

Forgiveness is up to those involved. I would readily forgive the one nights stands and brief encounters; a longterm emotional affair would be harder but I hope I could see my way to it. I do believe strongly in forgiveness and in recognizing that the forgiveness we offer is forgiveness we may need back someday. We all have our failures, after all.

Forgiveness, incidentally, is not confined to the relationships that survive an affair. Even if there is a split, forgiveness will eventually be needed for closure.
Guest
Lurker
Sexual urges can lead one astray very easily and it's cheating and betrayal, without exception if the other spouse is unknowing. It's up to that spouse whether forgiveness will be given. Personally speaking, I don't think I could. In fact, I know I couldn't. But an emotional based relationship seems worse. The reason a couple would be married in the first place, to my mind anyway, would be they have found in each other a kindred spirit with whom they will be closest to the rest of their lives. That you need to find that particular need filled by someone other than your spouse means your marriage must be in serious trouble or, unfortunately, you were wrong in your belief that you had found your soul mate. A sexual encounter can be more easily forgiven than an emotion based infidelity. The former is a momentary sexual gratification. The other is far deeper and more complex and, therefore, a larger departure from the one to whom you are married. But in either case, forgiveness is really not an option. Someone who betrays you once is quite capable of doing it again, and who wants to be constantly wondering whether their wife or husband was faithful today? Just my opinion.
aparootsa
Active Ink Slinger
If your partner wouldn't want it happening, it's probably cheating. Some people I know honestly don't give a flying rat's patootie if their partner has sexual or emotional involvement with others, and for those couples where both are cool with that, neither one is cheating. On the flip side, if there's no agreement between a couple that it's ok, it's probably cheating.

Forgiveness... I think we all know it's a matter of the one who has been betrayed.
Ls63563
Active Ink Slinger
Both, or neither, it all depends on individual points of view. We have an open relationship, but that's just us.
Guest
Lurker
I'd prefer not to judge
Guest
Lurker
By affair I mean some kind of ongoing relationship. An onenight stand is not an affair.

Cheating is having sex or enganging in an deeper emotional relationship without your partners acceptance.
Cheating is wrong. Cheating is betrayal of trust. Cheating is destructive of a relationship and creats insecurities that undermines the basis of the relationship.

A onenighter is easier to accept and allow, and forgive if it is laid out in the open. It could even be agreed that onenighters are ok.
Ongoing emotional relationships are more dangerous territory. I do think polyamory is possible, but do not want for me and the wife to gop into that territory.

Forgiveness is always an option.
Beffer
Rainbow Warrior
If you're in a committed relationship, cheating is any sex or love with someone else that you're keeping secret from your SO, or that he/she knows about but doesn't give consent to.

Forgiveness is divine, but some simply can't, unfortunately.
Megis
Active Ink Slinger
I know some people going through this and they are working on their relationship but every time something happens. They seem to bring it up and let everyone know about their partners cheating ways

For me it is all about trust. I cant be with someone that lies and cheats on me. Because I would not do it to the person in my life.

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