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Why are the women on this site so...

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Why are the woman on this site so vanilla? When I first joined I would have thought there was a lot of cross over between people on this site and people on fetlife. Now I’m not so sure.
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by LovingSadist
Why are the woman on this site a vanilla?


*snorts* you're obviously hanging with the wrong woman, Apple Pie.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Lurker
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Quote by sprite


*snorts* you're obviously hanging with the wrong woman, Apple Pie.


Maybe. I thought choking was like a kindergarten fetish and I was going to post some erotica I’ve written on it but now I’m not so sure.
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by LovingSadist


Maybe. I thought choking was like a kindergarten fetish and I was going to post some erotica I’ve written on it but now I’m not so sure.


in my case, i have had some nightmarish experiences with choking. i'm fine with crops, spurs, whips, hot wax, ginger, rope, needles, gags... pretty much everything else, but choking is a yellow light fetish on the best of days for me IF you're one of very select group of women. for everyone else it's a non-negotiable red light. that said, choking as a fetish will pass with the moderation team if that's the concern.

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Lurker
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Quote by sprite


in my case, i have had some nightmarish experiences with choking. i'm fine with crops, spurs, whips, hot wax, ginger, rope, needles, gags... pretty much everything else, but choking is a yellow light fetish on the best of days for me IF you're one of very select group of women. for everyone else it's a non-negotiable red light. that said, choking as a fetish will pass with the moderation team if that's the concern.


No, I was just surprised by how many women had such strong negative reaction to my question about it in “ask the gals.” Based on the sample of women I’ve been with 100% of women like it. I guess I need a bigger sample.
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by LovingSadist


No, I was just surprised by how many women had such strong negative reaction to my question about it in “ask the gals.” Based on the sample of women I’ve been with 100% of women like it. I guess I need a bigger sample.


lol - i don't think you got a lot of replies on that thread, tho. maybe everyone else was busy being choked. ;)

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Lurker
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Quote by sprite


in my case, i have had some nightmarish experiences with choking. i'm fine with crops, spurs, whips, hot wax, ginger, rope, needles, gags... pretty much everything else, but choking is a yellow light fetish on the best of days for me IF you're one of very select group of women. for everyone else it's a non-negotiable red light. that said, choking as a fetish will pass with the moderation team if that's the concern.


Wait, what is ginger? Is that a fetish I don’t know about? Do you do something kinky with a ginger root?
Her Royal Spriteness
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Quote by LovingSadist


Wait, what is ginger? Is that a fetish I don’t know about? Do you do something kinky with a ginger root?


google "figging". i'm too lazy to actually explain it. smile

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

Lurker
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Quote by sprite


google "figging". i'm too lazy to actually explain it. smile


Interesting. Thank you. I know just the little whore who I’m going’s to do that to on Monday!
Internet Philosopher
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Quote by sprite


*snorts* you're obviously hanging with the wrong woman, Apple Pie.


I think he spends too much time in the think tank.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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Quote by LovingSadist


Maybe. I thought choking was like a kindergarten fetish and I was going to post some erotica I’ve written on it but now I’m not so sure.


I've posted several stories with choking involved, though it was never the main point of the story. One of them even won a contest (Serious Moonlight, it's linked on the sig line). It's pretty intense, and I can understand why some would find it daunting. But it makes for good fiction. And occasionally life. smile

Call it "breath play" and you might do better. A mod added that tag (and rightly so) because I didn't tag it and they thought the choking might be unnerving.
Raised on Blackroot
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Quote by sprite


google "figging". i'm too lazy to actually explain it. smile


That’s like, eating fig newtons off your cooch right?
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There's choking in a couple of my stories, too.

No figging, yet. But fisting...yes. ;)
Active Ink Slinger
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Good old figging. I suggest it when someone posts "My boyfriend wants me to do anal. I'm not sure about it what should I do?"
My response. "Glad he wants to do anal, after some pegging on his arse, fig him up. He will love anal even more, even when cries in pain."

As for the original post, I used to not be vanilla but I gained weight and all those dirty BDSM fetishes just vanished. Not feeling sexy when I was 227 lbs.
Marx Sister
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Quote by Sirene_Jaune
"As for the original post, I used to not be vanilla but I gained weight and all those dirty BDSM fetishes just vanished. Not feeling sexy when I was 227 lbs."


Fascinating. Do you know why that is? I'm not judging by the way, just curious.

Sometimes when I am not finding myself attractive I can wind up not feeling sexy at all, but sometimes I just want to fuck everyone who's available to remind myself that I am.
My Featured Stories
The Snowglobe Conspiracy – Solving a great mystery | There Is No Butterfly – Time Travel competition entry | Incurable Arousal – Most viewed | Toxic, But Not Sinister – Mutual loathing at its finest | You Were – An experience in the second person | Desiderium – A scattering of lovers
Lurker
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Quote by Sirene_Jaune
Good old figging. I suggest it when someone posts "My boyfriend wants me to do anal. I'm not sure about it what should I do?"
My response. "Glad he wants to do anal, after some pegging on his arse, fig him up. He will love anal even more, even when cries in pain."

As for the original post, I used to not be vanilla but I gained weight and all those dirty BDSM fetishes just vanished. Not feeling sexy when I was 227 lbs.


You’re kidding? I bet you bet you have an ass that is perfectly spankabke.
Lurker
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Quote by LovingSadist
Why are the woman on this site so vanilla? When I first joined I would have thought there was a lot of cross over between people on this site and people on fetlife. Now I’m not so sure.



There are a lot of kinky women on this site smile

But the responses might be from a few things...

For one, the women who go to 'ask the gals' aren't representative of the full variety of women on Lush. It's a much smaller number of participants.



Also, if you're asking about real life experiences and preferences you might hit the Fantsay-to-Reality wall...

Women and men - in general - tend to be different when it comes to kink and fantasies.

Women tend to explore concepts purely within the confines of fantasy without ever having the intent on following through with it. Or, without ever actually experiencing it in real life and honestly being just fine with that and not feeling like they're missing out.

Men - in general - seem to have more reality-based fantasies. If they fantasize it's because they're more likely to really want to DO that.

So therein, you'll find a lot of women who get off on ideas but don't want to experience it in real life - in real life it might not be hot or sexy to try out, it might be offensive or a major turn off.



For another, those who are willing to do things in real life, things like choking are a turn on in part because of the GUY. He's domineering, he's suave, he's SEXY. And well the reality might be that women are dating, married or are sexually involved with guys who aren't quite that. I love a lot of things that I actually WOULD want to experience in real life but my husband doesn't hold that type of mannerism, control, nor do I feel safe with him enough to let him do things like choke me.



And then there's the fact that there are a hell of a lot of stupid freaking questions in Ask the Gals subforum. I've really stopped stepping into that forum because the stupidity of a lot of that content from guys is just eye-roll worthy. What's WRONG with men around here? Asking if we put things into our pussies to get off, or if we get "squishy." (SQUISHY!?) I mean seriously? That shit is obnoxious. A lot of women are sort of sick of having to parse through that crap.

I will NOT talk seriously about sex with guys who think we're . . . god I don't even know what the right term is to sum it up . . . that we're sexually inhibited and underdeveloped and infantile in our thinking about it, or that gross terms like 'squishy' is going to get anyone to want to talk about sex with them. You know that type of stuff makes me question the AGE of members and I do not engage with anyone who sends out the vibe that they aren't old enough to be on this site.



All that being said - don't judge your story content based on the forum responses. That's not really reflective of people here on this site, what their sexual fantasy interests are, and what they'll find appealing.

If you want to get a better sense for how things are received then do some research. Look at stories that contain similar content / tags and see how they're rated and how many people have read them. Read the comments. Stuff like that - investigate.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by Metilda



There are a lot of kinky women on this site smile

But the responses might be from a few things...

For one, the women who go to 'ask the gals' aren't representative of the full variety of women on Lush. It's a much smaller number of participants.



Also, if you're asking about real life experiences and preferences you might hit the Fantsay-to-Reality wall...

Women and men - in general - tend to be different when it comes to kink and fantasies.

Women tend to explore concepts purely within the confines of fantasy without ever having the intent on following through with it. Or, without ever actually experiencing it in real life and honestly being just fine with that and not feeling like they're missing out.

Men - in general - seem to have more reality-based fantasies. If they fantasize it's because they're more likely to really want to DO that.

So therein, you'll find a lot of women who get off on ideas but don't want to experience it in real life - in real life it might not be hot or sexy to try out, it might be offensive or a major turn off.



For another, those who are willing to do things in real life, things like choking are a turn on in part because of the GUY. He's domineering, he's suave, he's SEXY. And well the reality might be that women are dating, married or are sexually involved with guys who aren't quite that. I love a lot of things that I actually WOULD want to experience in real life but my husband doesn't hold that type of mannerism, control, nor do I feel safe with him enough to let him do things like choke me.



And then there's the fact that there are a hell of a lot of stupid freaking questions in Ask the Gals subforum. I've really stopped stepping into that forum because the stupidity of a lot of that content from guys is just eye-roll worthy. What's WRONG with men around here? Asking if we put things into our pussies to get off, or if we get "squishy." (SQUISHY!?) I mean seriously? That shit is obnoxious. A lot of women are sort of sick of having to parse through that crap.

I will NOT talk seriously about sex with guys who think we're . . . god I don't even know what the right term is to sum it up . . . that we're sexually inhibited and underdeveloped and infantile in our thinking about it, or that gross terms like 'squishy' is going to get anyone to want to talk about sex with them. You know that type of stuff makes me question the AGE of members and I do not engage with anyone who sends out the vibe that they aren't old enough to be on this site.



All that being said - don't judge your story content based on the forum responses. That's not really reflective of people here on this site, what their sexual fantasy interests are, and what they'll find appealing.

If you want to get a better sense for how things are received then do some research. Look at stories that contain similar content / tags and see how they're rated and how many people have read them. Read the comments. Stuff like that - investigate.


This was brilliant Matilda, as your posts often are. Thank you for the critique. Wish I could do something about it now.
Active Ink Slinger
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I had to look up figging! Sounds painful!
Lurker
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Quote by prettywild
I'm vanilla, in fact that's vanilla frosting running down my chin in my avatar


LOL..I bet that's the tastiest vanilla frosting you've ever had.
Here is an excellent article on Figging, in case anyone is interested.
Gravelly-Voiced Fucker
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Quote by Metilda



There are a lot of kinky women on this site smile

But the responses might be from a few things...

For one, the women who go to 'ask the gals' aren't representative of the full variety of women on Lush. It's a much smaller number of participants.



Also, if you're asking about real life experiences and preferences you might hit the Fantsay-to-Reality wall...

Women and men - in general - tend to be different when it comes to kink and fantasies.

Women tend to explore concepts purely within the confines of fantasy without ever having the intent on following through with it. Or, without ever actually experiencing it in real life and honestly being just fine with that and not feeling like they're missing out.

Men - in general - seem to have more reality-based fantasies. If they fantasize it's because they're more likely to really want to DO that.

So therein, you'll find a lot of women who get off on ideas but don't want to experience it in real life - in real life it might not be hot or sexy to try out, it might be offensive or a major turn off.



For another, those who are willing to do things in real life, things like choking are a turn on in part because of the GUY. He's domineering, he's suave, he's SEXY. And well the reality might be that women are dating, married or are sexually involved with guys who aren't quite that. I love a lot of things that I actually WOULD want to experience in real life but my husband doesn't hold that type of mannerism, control, nor do I feel safe with him enough to let him do things like choke me.



And then there's the fact that there are a hell of a lot of stupid freaking questions in Ask the Gals subforum. I've really stopped stepping into that forum because the stupidity of a lot of that content from guys is just eye-roll worthy. What's WRONG with men around here? Asking if we put things into our pussies to get off, or if we get "squishy." (SQUISHY!?) I mean seriously? That shit is obnoxious. A lot of women are sort of sick of having to parse through that crap.

I will NOT talk seriously about sex with guys who think we're . . . god I don't even know what the right term is to sum it up . . . that we're sexually inhibited and underdeveloped and infantile in our thinking about it, or that gross terms like 'squishy' is going to get anyone to want to talk about sex with them. You know that type of stuff makes me question the AGE of members and I do not engage with anyone who sends out the vibe that they aren't old enough to be on this site.



All that being said - don't judge your story content based on the forum responses. That's not really reflective of people here on this site, what their sexual fantasy interests are, and what they'll find appealing.

If you want to get a better sense for how things are received then do some research. Look at stories that contain similar content / tags and see how they're rated and how many people have read them. Read the comments. Stuff like that - investigate.


Yeah, what Dancewithme said, this is really spot on.
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by She


Fascinating. Do you know why that is? I'm not judging by the way, just curious.

Sometimes when I am not finding myself attractive I can wind up not feeling sexy at all, but sometimes I just want to fuck everyone who's available to remind myself that I am.



I am happy to answer. I'm 5'4 and was wearing a size 18. Gaining the weight wrecked havoc on my hormones and libido. I also didn't feel physically fit enough to do the fetish kinks that I used to do when I was slimmer. I was not one of those BBWs who loves being obese.
Active Ink Slinger
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Im anything but vanilla lol
Rookie Scribe
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Who wants to be in a vanilla relationship when you can be in a femdom relationship