I've always been the more submissive type, however my boyfriend has recently informed me that he'd like me to be in control every once in a while. Any advice on how to go about this is a comfortable, less hardcore way? I'm not really sure what to do as I have always let him take the wheel.
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Switching it up
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Active Ink Slinger
I have found the same with my wife.. She always wants me to initiate sex at night... and being an ignorant bloke sometime I don't get the messages she sends out.....
I have told her if she wants to get intimate then perhaps she should initiate and take control with what she wants.
So my advise to would be to start with some pampering then request / demands the things you like him to do to you and layback 7 enjoy
I have told her if she wants to get intimate then perhaps she should initiate and take control with what she wants.
So my advise to would be to start with some pampering then request / demands the things you like him to do to you and layback 7 enjoy
As a die hard switch, I would caution that this is often difficult ground to traverse.
To cut right to the chase, when it comes to taking control, or giving up control, you have to have it in you to begin with. It is not a learned trait. Not saying there is not a potential discovery process here, but there has to be something waiting to be discovered.
It was expressed most clearly by a lady who I had the pleasure of knowing many years ago. She was a rampant submissive and craved being tied up during love-making. She and her husband were very much in love.They were soul mates. But, he didn't have a dominant bone in his body. He would of course try to give her what she craved, but she put it succinctly when she explained: "He's not dominant. When he ties me up I just feel silly".
Bottom line, you may be able to find if he's inclined that way, but if he's not....
To cut right to the chase, when it comes to taking control, or giving up control, you have to have it in you to begin with. It is not a learned trait. Not saying there is not a potential discovery process here, but there has to be something waiting to be discovered.
It was expressed most clearly by a lady who I had the pleasure of knowing many years ago. She was a rampant submissive and craved being tied up during love-making. She and her husband were very much in love.They were soul mates. But, he didn't have a dominant bone in his body. He would of course try to give her what she craved, but she put it succinctly when she explained: "He's not dominant. When he ties me up I just feel silly".
Bottom line, you may be able to find if he's inclined that way, but if he's not....
Active Ink Slinger
I'm definitely more submissive by nature, but once in a while I do switch. I try to think about what I enjoy as a submissive: What would I like said to me? What would I like done to me? How would I like to punished for that?
Advanced Wordsmith
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