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Ok so Im pretty curious about this
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by abp013
im pretty much brand new to this whole thing, but it seems like somthing I would Like to get into, I really dnt know much about, what i do know is i would like to have a sub but im not sure on how to go about making it happen.....help please lol
I hear Quiznos makes pretty good subs....
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by abp013
im pretty much brand new to this whole thing, but it seems like somthing I would Like to get into,
Stop right there.
Why do you say that? What do you feel that makes you think you want whatever you think this is about?
I'm basically trying to get you to be more specific. BDSM is a very, very big tent.
You said you want a sub. Why? What would you propose doing with one? More importantly, why would anyone give him or herself to you? That's really the crux of the biscuit here. Many people forget that a dominant has a tremendous duty to fulfill. It's not just about being able to have your way with them. Because if you selfishly ignore their needs, then they won't stay.
My novel, The Society, is available now in the Kindle Store: http://www.amazon.com/The-Society-ebook/dp/B00BPF9U2I
Cock Connoisseur
Quote by PrimalMind
I hear Quiznos makes pretty good subs....
That really has no place here. The BDSM community here takes this very seriously. If you wish to make jokes there are plenty of other threads that are more appropriate for that kind of thing.
Ok honestly, there is just something about knowing that me giving a girl orders to do whatever and it turns her on just gets me goin.i wanna learn about all this and im not tryin to pretend to be all knowing cause i know there is a lot about this i have no clue about but im willing to learn. And i understand about needin to fufill my sub's wishes and honestly that what im all about. its just the idea of being a dom gets me goin like nothing else seems to be able to
Here's a reading suggestion.
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/bdsm/finding-her-master.aspx#post
That was recommended by Ravyn, by the way. They provided BDSM 101 lessons in the chat room. Kidding. They're very helpful there.
I'm not into the lifestyle, & what I know of it I gathered from stereotypical depiction in erotica (from websites I visit prior to Lush). Talking to members like Ravyn was very insightful.
On that note, hello, Ravyn. icon_smil
**in case the link doesn't show up, the story is Finding Her Master by Ropetease.
http://www.lushstories.com/stories/bdsm/finding-her-master.aspx#post
That was recommended by Ravyn, by the way. They provided BDSM 101 lessons in the chat room. Kidding. They're very helpful there.
I'm not into the lifestyle, & what I know of it I gathered from stereotypical depiction in erotica (from websites I visit prior to Lush). Talking to members like Ravyn was very insightful.
On that note, hello, Ravyn. icon_smil
**in case the link doesn't show up, the story is Finding Her Master by Ropetease.
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by PrimalMind
I hear Quiznos makes pretty good subs....
Lol... Nice!
"I'd much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they are the first to be rescued off of sinking ships."
— Gilda Radner
— Gilda Radner
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by anonymouslylush
Lol... Nice!
That's actually not "nice" at all. It is unnecessary and tasteless. Mockery of BDSM is not needed at all. It is a lifestyle choice and is taken serious by many here. Do you see any replies saying "vanilla is so bland and boring"? No. Don't judge us because you find it funny to do so.
Now, for the one asking for advice, finding a sub is quite the opposite. The sub finds the Dom/me. It is the sub who initiates the relationship and who gives up the amount of control they need taken from them. Be patient and be sure its something you are ready for. If you enter a D/s relationship without being 100% sure, both sides can get hurt, the sub more mentally and emotionally. Feel free to ask more questions! Us in the lifestyle are pretty welcoming and informative.
Active Ink Slinger
http://www.lushstories.com/forum/yaf_postst18882_BDSM-101.aspx
This is a good start to reading as well, also there are many posts here that offers a lot of help and topic talk. Never take on a relationship to quickly, you need to talk...umm...kinda like an interview. You need to know what your subs wants are and you need to know what you need in a sub, if you aren't compatible in your needs then the relationship will fail. If your into bondage and the submissive isn't then that need will never be met.
I see so many Velcro collars here, so many rush into relationships without finding out anything about the person. It's like..wanna,.. shrugs..you wanna...ok you'll be my slave (or Dom/me) ok.. and off they go only to find the drama floating around the site.
This is more then giving a sub an order and having them do it, it's more then sex. It's a commitment, as in most cases the submissive will put their life in your hands, depending on the session. This is a very deep connection, if you are with the right person. There is so much to this lifestyle that is amazing, past anything else, you may experience.
If you are serious about learning, please ask away, as stated many are happy to share their experiences with you.
This is a good start to reading as well, also there are many posts here that offers a lot of help and topic talk. Never take on a relationship to quickly, you need to talk...umm...kinda like an interview. You need to know what your subs wants are and you need to know what you need in a sub, if you aren't compatible in your needs then the relationship will fail. If your into bondage and the submissive isn't then that need will never be met.
I see so many Velcro collars here, so many rush into relationships without finding out anything about the person. It's like..wanna,.. shrugs..you wanna...ok you'll be my slave (or Dom/me) ok.. and off they go only to find the drama floating around the site.
This is more then giving a sub an order and having them do it, it's more then sex. It's a commitment, as in most cases the submissive will put their life in your hands, depending on the session. This is a very deep connection, if you are with the right person. There is so much to this lifestyle that is amazing, past anything else, you may experience.
If you are serious about learning, please ask away, as stated many are happy to share their experiences with you.
No one can make you jealous, angry, vengeful, or greedy -unless you let him.
- Napoleon Hill
- Napoleon Hill
Question yourself. Why a sub? Is it for the power to control. The sexual. In some ways you have to be the sub as you have to think about yousubs needs before yours. Sub grants you the control only after truthful honest communication have been established. Trust is a word that is granted upon the relationship being established.
Good luck in finding what you seek.
Good luck in finding what you seek.
Quote by abp013Hi , I'm no expert but have done my share of reading . Try looking for these books ,you may have to order them from Amazon. The Bottoming Book & The Topping Book by Dossie Easton & Catherine A. Lizst also 2 Books by Gloria Brame , come hither and Different Loving. Gloria is a Domme and Doctor so her insight is very good. The other books were written by a Domme and sub with thier input from both sides. There's nothing like being in control of another but it carries a heavy responiblity , these books will help you develop the mindset and what you want to do in this new world of BDSM. Be safe, respossible and consensual . Just my 2 cents LOL
im pretty much brand new to this whole thing, but it seems like somthing I would Like to get into, I really dnt know much about, what i do know is i would like to have a sub but im not sure on how to go about making it happen.....help please lol
Ok abp013,
The first thing you need to realize and understand is that power is not taken - it is given. It is not a matter of you looking for a sub, but rather putting yourself out there and letting the sub find you. A lot of people don't understand that the power in this D/s relationship is the submisives. Master's and Mistresses are just guides. The analogy I like to use is that of a car. The submissive is the engine - she makes the car go. The Master/Mistress is the steering wheel, it makes the car go where you want it to go. Without the engine, it doesn't move. Without the steering wheel it's out of control. You need both.
Now how to put yourself out there and advertise, well that can be difficult - it depends on what you are looking for. For chat and online fun, it's pretty easy. For real/life D/s it's a lot harder. I was fortunate in that My slave was My wife first. But if it's a real life relationship you are after, then I would suggest learning a LOT more about it before even attempting to engage in it. You are the guide - the steering wheel. You need to know where to go and how to get there.
Keep this one thing in mind...D/s is about love it is about fulfilling the needs of the one you are about to dedicate yourself to. Do not take it lightly there are a lot of would be's out there that have been ruined by "players" or amateurs that didn't know what they were doing. And not all scars are visible ones.
Play safe.
The first thing you need to realize and understand is that power is not taken - it is given. It is not a matter of you looking for a sub, but rather putting yourself out there and letting the sub find you. A lot of people don't understand that the power in this D/s relationship is the submisives. Master's and Mistresses are just guides. The analogy I like to use is that of a car. The submissive is the engine - she makes the car go. The Master/Mistress is the steering wheel, it makes the car go where you want it to go. Without the engine, it doesn't move. Without the steering wheel it's out of control. You need both.
Now how to put yourself out there and advertise, well that can be difficult - it depends on what you are looking for. For chat and online fun, it's pretty easy. For real/life D/s it's a lot harder. I was fortunate in that My slave was My wife first. But if it's a real life relationship you are after, then I would suggest learning a LOT more about it before even attempting to engage in it. You are the guide - the steering wheel. You need to know where to go and how to get there.
Keep this one thing in mind...D/s is about love it is about fulfilling the needs of the one you are about to dedicate yourself to. Do not take it lightly there are a lot of would be's out there that have been ruined by "players" or amateurs that didn't know what they were doing. And not all scars are visible ones.
Play safe.