Communication is key......
In a long distance BDSM relationship, how does the part where the Master spanks the slave work? Does the master go, "okay now I'm gonna spank you!" then the sub puts the phone down and spanks herself? Does the sub sometimes spank herself too hard and use a safe word and says it into the phone then the Master is like, "sorry baby, I'll ease up."
I'm just curious about how you go about this aspect of a BDSM relationship when it's long distance.
Complicated subject. No, it doesn't happen at all like Felix imagines it.
Communication and time is the key. with cam. Time. A lot of time.
In fact, the distance can be a wonderful tool to test each other, and to add to the tension. But then again, it's not just about fucking each others brains out, it's more to do with a relation and a lifestyle, an attitude. The distance allows testing each others' resolve and also the submission of the sub. Face-to-face obedience is easier than when on a distance. And incredibly hot.
About the punishments... well... that depends. There are punishments which can be practiced over a distance (ie. nipple clamping) and for the rest, there is a list. And again, it adds terribly to the tension each time something is added. On D-day, it's up to the master to decide what and how much of it and to which intensity he will realise... ugh... makes my butt tense up! Lol!
My girl and I are currently in a long distance relationship (2 hours away from each other), and though it can be hard, and lonesome most of the time, we utilize all the tools necessary to spend time "together". Talking on the phone, messaging on FB...we have found that our love for each other has grown immensely, our communication skills have improved...and this is from someone that NEVER previously could do the "Long Distance" thing.
I have been with my little for nearly 16 months now and we are in an LD situation. We have seen each other a few times in RL (amazing wonderful weekends by the way) but those times are few and difficult to arrange. As many have noted already, communication is the absolute key. We are in constant communication daily. We or chat on the phone every day usually for several hours at a time. We go to sleep on the phone or every night and if the technology cooperates we wake up together each morning. Not to mention the texting that also occurs in between calls.
People have to be creative.
Long distance or real-life, if it was a simple:
"Spank me!"
*spanks you...
that would NOT do it for me in-person or NOT, but there are as limitless possibilities of working through this and creating, getting REALLY kinky, anf having as much fun as you can "imagine" and connect to with each other - so try getting those creative juices going. Fantasize. Act those inclinations out however you can. Try different things. Create games. Go to websites. Make things. RP. It can be a mental turn on as well as physical.
COMMUNICATION
Also What Felix was mocking...
There are a lot of different sides and aspects to a relationship; especially one that has a major BDSM focus. Long-distance while, not preferable, will help you develop facets in the D/s part of your relationship and will grow the faith and trust in the other person.
I hope you guys work it out and it goes well for you.