That's the thing with submitting or dominating....it's a risk. It has to be a risk your willing to take...to be able to jump into an unknown zone. To be able to trust someone enough to take their hand. This kind of relationship is a bond of trust and so much more. There isn't a way to exactly "understand" it. It's a desire...and if you want it bad enough...u will make that final step to either submit or dominate.
I am never allowed to disrespect...never willingly break rules...never to harm myself...I am allowed my friends unless it is someone he knows is not good for me...I understand as I feel for me my Master knows what is best for me.
doing my best to be good..
This is an older post, and I never answered ~
I would like to add a bit from what I understand ~ that in strict BDSM society circles, a sub is NOT allowed to speak first, only allowed to answer directly or redirect to the Master/Dom -OR- ask for permission: and more specifically the person seeking whatever interaction or conversation is to ask the Master/Dom. This is respect and submission. This is to avoid the all too often compromising situations that might look bad or arise. It is "respect." Distrust has nothing to do with it, or levels of trust. You can take it as a game or serious ~however you wish. Things vary, but some basic rules seem to apply.
A person cannot ask to "play" with the sub or try to take the sub away sexually, ask to be their Master or Sub... if the sub is collared/owned then it is not proper to try this and can result in a confrontation with the Master/Dom and being outcast from future gatherings once word spreads, because onformation is passed along so other Doms know to be on their look-out. Behavior outside of such respect is deemed unacceptibl and, intolerable within the inner circles of etiquette, and must be abided by Dom and sub alike. Some subs are not allowed to speak -or at first AT ALL.
On Lush it could be for a number of reasons why a person may have on their profile they cannot talk to certain people or people in general because it is not allowed. I had that on my profile- subs have rules, though some Doms are more lax.... and rules broken have punishment.
There is the individual basis...
but the above is my understanding.
It should always be consensual, and safe... willing and given, not abused or abusive, and with this is a choice at any time.
I am new to the world of BDSM and it has definitely been a learning experience. My Master is very kind and has taught me a lot. One thing he advised me do is ask him questions as to what I wanted from the experience and what his ideas were about the whole thing (this was not new to him). He wanted to discuss what my limits were, what his were, what we liked, and what we didn't. Even though he is my Master, he wants to work with me to make sure I am always comfortable, and he makes sure he only pushes me so far as to not scare me, just out of my comfort zone a little at a time. He wants to make sure I trust him, and I do. Very much so.
This is an excellent list that he actually sent me when I agreed to proceed with this sort of relationship with him:
A Dom/sub, Master/slave, Master/pet, Big/little, or whatever you prefer to call it, is not a relationship to be taken lightly. A sub should be comfortable with her Dom and should be able to talk to him without any problem. (And I say him but it can go either way) It is not a relationship based on having commands screamed at you and forced to do things you do not like. It is a relationship that should be based on trust and it is oh so rewarding. Have fun!!!
