I have a question, what happens when is the Dom that mess up? i mean we are all humans and sometimes we make mistakes and in relationships sometimes you piss someone off and sometimes they piss you off.
So i guess my question is when you are in a 24/7 BDSM relationship and he or she (meaning the Dom Mistress) is the one that screws up, can you just go to them and yell and call them asshole or whatever you feel like telling them? can you punish your Dom for that? Or is it like in a normal relationship were you have a fight and are allowed to be angry at them and then you just move on? or do they just have to accept everything no matter what it is?
This has been an ummm interesting all rounder thread lol
What I have learnt from this, is that many should not claim they live or practice bdsm but rather say they practice kinky sex if they believe that there is no control factor involved. And I believe that anyone that has been in an previous abusive relationship should stay clear of bdsm if they are quick to call any control abuse or any need abuse. Also learnt that some are very confused if they are a sub or a dom. I have learnt that it is no wonder people are getting the wrong idea that subs are the true masters. I have learnt that we are not tolerant on different views, ideas and opinions and have learnt that we are giving the wrong impression and yes it does seem we are too sensitive.
Agreed, very interesting and somewhat educational for me all the way through. I often note the short-fuse for defensiveness in this forum section, but I understand why to some extent. We all (well, most people, anyways) are a little bit defensive about something or other, and anything we hold dear that is so widely misunderstood will often qualify.
EDIT: deleted me post. There always seems to be some kind of drama in this section.
Not only do the BDSM people have a short fuse... They are completely delusional.
In real life, throughout history the woman has taken the submissive role, no matter what, but that doesn't mean they are being dominated. Have any of you heard the saying, "there a little bit of truth in every joke, or else it ain't funny"? You've heard that I'm sure. If you haven't, it's true by the way. Have you "masters" and subs ever heard a man refer to his princess as the boss? Oh wait let me ask the boss.. Etc.. It's because that beautiful girl runs that man wether he realizes or not. That's what impresses me the most about woman. They can be in charge and let you think you are.. Learn that shit young bloods. That woman is your real boss cause in the end of the day anything you do is to make her ultimately happy.
The sub takes on the traditional female role. Guess what.. That sub gets some demands going and we'll see how fast that master changes his/her tune.
Letexia... I swear to god... Keeps my sexy name out of your mouth... Unless you're a glutton for punishment, which makes sense considering the section of the forum... Like you do realize that every time you mention my name it's YOU who ends up with reddened cheeks and butthurt ass blogs... Maybe I'm the real master even though you're a mistress? Maybe you're searching for a real master... I'll make it hurt so good.
Anyway Letexia. The same things I have said about subs having the real power have been said by BDSM practitioners in this very forum section... But I guess the same words are okay from someone that you don't have a personal grudge with. What a joke...
Don't mention my name again.. Seriously unless you're looking to get mastered.
Anyone who has been married or been in a relationship for a few years will understand that you will NEVER understand another couples marriage/relationship. It's just not yours to understand. It's theirs. It's as personal as it gets.
We all set boundaries in our relationships either by verbal agreement or simple understanding of the other person over time. We can sit here and pontificate about it and try to rationalize it to ourselves so that their preferences don't threaten us or make us uncomfortable but you will get different answers as to what it means to them every time you ask a different couple. Maybe this is all very obvious.
well I usually follow my mistress's rules. I occasionally do fuck up and when I do I get my ass beat. If she goes overboard she will feel guilty and apologise.
I am allowed to talk to family and friends outside of the lifestyle. But as far as playing I can only play with my owner and on her terms obviously. Like I can only drink one 20 ounce bottle of pop. If I sneak I get my ass beat. (Ofcourse I love the fact my mistress/owner comes up with new ways to beat the shit out of me)
adendum: it's easy to apologize after the fact - truth is, you keep forgiving them, and they might even be sincere, but from my own experience, that apology means nothing. it took a stint in the ICU for me to finally wise up - don't let it go that far. is you're getting beat up because your Mistress cant control her anger, what happens when she REALLY loses it? don't wait around to find out.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
There have to be rules.
I don't have an online master or mistress, but if I did I would expect there to be rules, and I'd expect to be punished if I didn't follow them.
A BDSM relationship isn't the same thing as an abusive relationship. Where do people get ideas like that? My relationship is as loving as any vanilla relationship, and maybe more so. It's a consensual relationship. If I didn't like it I wouldn't be doing it. Part of the attraction for me is the total surrender of myself to another. It requires trust. Control is about trust too.
No two relationships are ever exactly the same.
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Many of the things I read on Lush have me cringing and WTFing and WTHIWWYing, but I try to keep that to myself, and attempt to understand. It's a learning curve. For everybody. 
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