I plan on using gags in the future and my partner brought up a good question.
How is she supposed to let me know to stop if she is tied up & gagged? the restraints prevent her from moving to push me off and the gag prevents her from saying the safe word. I don't want to keep going if she really wants me to stop but I'm not sure how to go about her letting me know
Any and all help would be awesome
Put a spongy ball in her hand. If it falls out (that is, if she lets it go or drops it), then that's your safe-word.
Other possibilities are if you have her hands restrained near a flat surface, and if she has enough play in her restraints, then she could slap the surface as a signal.
Another good one for gags is "Mmf! Mmf! Mmf!" That is, making three short noises through the gag right in a row, as a sort of "morse code" of a sort.
Everybody is different, but I would expect most people to squeeze the ball tighter rather than drop it.
And the "slapping" is fairly distinctive, so long as it is positionally possible.
And the noise is intended to be three sharp exclamations followed by silence. That too is fairly distinctive.
But those aren't universal. Just ideas of what have worked for others. You'll need to adapt one for your situation, or else try something different or perhaps not use gags.
Like Sensei, I always advocate the use of a safesignal - I use a red dog ball with a little bell inside. If a sub cannot speak because of a gag, tossing or dropping a ball like this sends a visual signal (seeing the ball) and an auditory one) the bell) Now iff she can't hold it for some reason, how about a snap of her fingers - I don't know anyone who snaps their fingers during sex! Or give her one of those little "servant bells" to ring. There are a myriad of things you can do. The most important thing is that you have something, you both understand what that something means, and you abide by it. Play safe.
