I'm curious how lush thinks about this. Do you think Masters/Doms can take a sub, who doesn't like or isn't very interested in pain, and morph them into complete painsluts? Are painsluts just born with that subconcious tendency to enjoy masochistic things?
I'd like to understand the mentality of a Master who can help mold subs into this. How do you increase someones interest in pain? Do you know of people who took curiosities and ran with that or, tops that pressure their subs into trying it and things evolve from there?
Likewise Subs, if your Dom is not into pain, but you are, do you think it is possible to help him "grow" into liking it more?
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
I'm not a part of this lifestyle or anything, but I would say that while it seems to be all about pushing boundaries and such, I'm not sure if that applies to pain. Pain is one of those things that everyone has a threshold for, and it doesn't really go beyond that. So with that in mind, if someone doesn't enjoy pain or find it arousing, it's not likely to change.
And if someone doesn't take pleasure in causing someone else pain, that also isn't likely to change.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
I think you can change from someone who thinks they want to discipline someone else, into someone who knows that instead they want to be the one who is disciplined. However, a desire to be involved in the scene is needed in the first place.
For me, I like to explorer and my ex liked the idea of being spanked etc. but I wasn't into that stuff at all. However I did not mind to be dominant and over time the idea of "punishing" her with pain grew on me. As it turned out she did like a few slaps on the butt but because of a very low threshold for pain it never got to be a very big thing.
So to actually contribute to the conversation..
I do think people can grow accustomed to certain sexual acts and even learn to enjoy them even if they weren't their fantasies of kinks from the start. I do not think you can make somebody enjoy extreme pain if it is not something she's into form the inside (so to speak).
This is an interesting question. The answers given so far have been great. I would like to add though that it all depends on how far you are going to push things. I say this because brainwashing and conditioning have been known to completely change a person. You can indeed change a person from mild and who does not enjoy pain, into someone who craves it and it is the only way they can reach orgasm. I personally think this is EVIL to do, and I don't know why anyone would willingly go through this... if anyone actually would.
Personally I think pushing our own boundaries and those of our partner is fine and well and is a good thing. But only as far as both are willing and WANTING to go. And as with any activity, (as others have pointed out) the more you do it, the more your tolerance and your comfort levels rise. I think naturally though, each person is predispositioned for certain things, and finding what those things are and expanding on THOSE is the best way to go.
My sub(wife) emphaticly told me she was in no way interested in pain. I started noticing an escalation in her endurance and desire for just a bit more as time went on. At the end one of her favorite sayings was, "Pain is just pleasure waiting to be processed." For a sense of scale we started with light spanking and went to a large-ish collection of floggers and canes.
My sub(wife) emphaticly told me she was in no way interested in pain. I started noticing an escalation in her endurance and desire for just a bit more as time went on. At the end one of her favorite sayings was, "Pain is just pleasure waiting to be processed." For a sense of scale we started with light spanking and went to a large-ish collection of floggers and canes.
Very often, despite initial misgivings and preconceptions, we don't know we like something until we try it. It might take a while to realize it, but eventually, the realization dawns.
I've grown to enjoy being tortured with pain here....implements...the whole nine.
I have a lot of pain inside me so it's nice to transfer it out.
Does that make sense?
I like lots of things .
Weirdly I like seeing bruises on body.
It excites me.
People can change, sure, you bet. People can change and evolve either way into anything as guided that way (especially with the right person) into what was pre-existing and dormant OR become someone completely different due to new experiences -even things they were formerly NOT inclined to want or enjoy. I AM into BDSM, and though I am no expert, I feel I can say this, as per what I have seen and known firsthand.
Personally, I am not a "pain slut" -as you put it, and I do not want to be. That is not my idea of fun, but there are somethings I do that others might consider no fun or painful. I have heard a lot of people mention not liking pain and not understanding or the pain threshold we all have. That threshold can change and rise over time and exposure, it is called building up pain tolerance. Think of torture and training. I would say it is not advised to "push" for your own way on ANYTHING & in BDSM, since it is about trust and respecting limits and desires, the pleasure both ways, or what is mutually enjoyed, I would NOT reccomend being too insistant and pressuring someone. I thin one could "entice." It is supposed to be "enjoyed." Truly there are those who ARE by more severe definitions, (and those commonly thought of, perhaps), that are "sadists" and "masochist" ~ I certainly did not think I was either one, and I have learned a deeper understanding. I know some sadists enjoy seeing someone in pain and turns them on that they do NOT like, real pain is a turn on, real struggle, and there are all types and degrees. I think that you need to be on the same page for it to be safe, sane, and consensual. If pain is your thing then a slow process of introduction and easing in from shallow to deep would be a gradient course, I would think. Often that "envelope" will continue to be pushed. Some will like things - some will not. For some people it will come natural, or become inviting due to the love and adoration they may have for their partner, and for others it is all about the person. To answer your question, I DO think it can happen that they become this person, but it will not always happen, it is timing and many factors... ONE being the process.
well you never know until you ask, explore or try. but such things are done with consent.
You can quite easily turn in to someone who enjoys pain - once you try it
There are so many different kinds of pain that even the definition of what a "pain slut" is can vary greatly. Some may see a person craving the not-so-tender caresses of a cane already a pain slut, while other think of needles and worse. Also, not every part of the body takes pain equally well, and while I may be able to appreciate a stinging pain on my backside, it might be way over the top on other spots of my body. That said, a pain that builds up gradually and is mixed with the right measure of pleasurable stimulation can go far beyond anything I'd normally want to endure and still be highly erotic. I like to believe that everybody is at least partially wired this way, the art is in finding the correct switches in the mind to get those wires to relay their message to the right spots in the brain. It depends on personal dispositions, trust, power balances, physical constitution and the current frame of mind. If it is accomplished by pressure, it comes with a price paid in mental health as currency, so no, that's not a road that should be travelled. The premise must always be S,S&C.
