I'm curious how lush thinks about this. Do you think Masters/Doms can take a sub, who doesn't like or isn't very interested in pain, and morph them into complete painsluts? Are painsluts just born with that subconcious tendency to enjoy masochistic things?
I'd like to understand the mentality of a Master who can help mold subs into this. How do you increase someones interest in pain? Do you know of people who took curiosities and ran with that or, tops that pressure their subs into trying it and things evolve from there?
Likewise Subs, if your Dom is not into pain, but you are, do you think it is possible to help him "grow" into liking it more?
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Can one "Morph" into a painslut?
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Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
I'm not a part of this lifestyle or anything, but I would say that while it seems to be all about pushing boundaries and such, I'm not sure if that applies to pain. Pain is one of those things that everyone has a threshold for, and it doesn't really go beyond that. So with that in mind, if someone doesn't enjoy pain or find it arousing, it's not likely to change.
And if someone doesn't take pleasure in causing someone else pain, that also isn't likely to change.
And if someone doesn't take pleasure in causing someone else pain, that also isn't likely to change.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Empress of the Moon
Quote by littlebirdie92
I'm curious how lush thinks about this. Do you think Masters/Doms can take a sub, who doesn't like or isn't very interested in pain, and morph them into complete painsluts? Are painsluts just born with that subconcious tendency to enjoy masochistic things?
I'd like to understand the mentality of a Master who can help mold subs into this. How do you increase someones interest in pain? Do you know of people who took curiosities and ran with that or, tops that pressure their subs into trying it and things evolve from there?
Likewise Subs, if your Dom is not into pain, but you are, do you think it is possible to help him "grow" into liking it more?
I can't imagine anyone who is not interested in pain wanting to be either a sub or a dom. Why would they? What would be the point in doing something you don't enjoy? If a person is exploring their sexuality and find that they don't like something in particular, why would they want to continue doing it?
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Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Ruthie
I can't imagine anyone who is not interested in pain wanting to be either a sub or a dom. Why would they? What would be the point in doing something you don't enjoy? If a person is exploring their sexuality and find that they don't like something in particular, why would they want to continue doing it?
being a sub is not necessarily about pain - i know plenty of D/s couples not into the pain aspect of bdsm, but rather the psychological. although my wife and i are not 'in the lifestyle' we both have a healthy enjoyment of bdsm in our bedroom play - that said, she prefers to keep the pain play light, more of a token thing, during our sessions; nipple clamps, spankings, that kind of thing.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Empress of the Moon
Quote by sprite
being a sub is not necessarily about pain - i know plenty of D/s couples not into the pain aspect of bdsm, but rather the psychological. although my wife and i are not 'in the lifestyle' we both have a healthy enjoyment of bdsm in our bedroom play - that said, she prefers to keep the pain play light, more of a token thing, during our sessions; nipple clamps, spankings, that kind of thing.
There are also elements of bondage and domination that don't include any pain at all, but the question is about learning to enjoy pain I think. At least as I understand it. I'm really not sure what a painslut is. I suppose that one can build up a tolerance for pain, and part of a relationship is exploring boundaries and experimenting with tolerances. But if a person is really not into pain at all, why would they want to enter into an S&M type of relationship?
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012
Pain is one of those things that everyone has a threshold for, and it doesn't really go beyond that.
That's true, I suppose, but some people like pain and some people don't. It's more of a question of how they experience it. Someone said that it's like hot sauce. Everyone gets the same burn from hot sauce, but some people enjoy the sensation while others don't. I couldn't explain to anyone who hated hot sauce why I like it. I'm not sure that I understand why anyone doesn't. On the other hand, there are some hot sauces that are too much for me.
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Active Ink Slinger
Yes, you can absoultely morph into a pain slut as you put it.Many years ago when I was introduced to BDSM I rapidly discovered that the best way for me to get the enjoyment I needed was with very rough, pain inflicting play. nothing gets me hotter.
BUT, it must be done by a person with extreme confidence and ability with the art of BDSM. Simply "hurting" me will not work, and I'll probably kick your ass when the scene is done...
The application of gradually increasing sensation resulting in pain is what it's all about.
BUT, it must be done by a person with extreme confidence and ability with the art of BDSM. Simply "hurting" me will not work, and I'll probably kick your ass when the scene is done...
The application of gradually increasing sensation resulting in pain is what it's all about.
"When its too kinky for everybody else, its just gettin' good for me."
(Kinky Freedman)
(Kinky Freedman)
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
Quote by Ruthie
That's true, I suppose, but some people like pain and some people don't. It's more of a question of how they experience it. Someone said that it's like hot sauce. Everyone gets the same burn from hot sauce, but some people enjoy the sensation while others don't. I couldn't explain to anyone who hated hot sauce why I like it. I'm not sure that I understand why anyone doesn't. On the other hand, there are some hot sauces that are too much for me.
Exactly. You have an understanding of what you can handle, and it doesn't go beyond that, right? That's kind of the point I was making. When it comes to thing like pain, you pretty much have a solid idea of what you can and can't handle. Even if there is a pushing of boundaries, you're not gonna take more than what you can handle.
░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Her Royal Spriteness
Quote by Ruthie
There are also elements of bondage and domination that don't include any pain at all, but the question is about learning to enjoy pain I think. At least as I understand it. I'm really not sure what a painslut is. I suppose that one can build up a tolerance for pain, and part of a relationship is exploring boundaries and experimenting with tolerances. But if a person is really not into pain at all, why would they want to enter into an S&M type of relationship?
That's true, I suppose, but some people like pain and some people don't. It's more of a question of how they experience it. Someone said that it's like hot sauce. Everyone gets the same burn from hot sauce, but some people enjoy the sensation while others don't. I couldn't explain to anyone who hated hot sauce why I like it. I'm not sure that I understand why anyone doesn't. On the other hand, there are some hot sauces that are too much for me.
not that i'm an expert here, but in my personal experience, you either are or you aren't 'wired' to enjoy pain, or to experience it as pleasure, or however it works. btw, i would classify, if asked, myself as a 'painslut' - it's something i enjoy immensely when coupled with physical pleasure. working at building up a tolerance for pain, in my view, isn't the same as actively enjoying it or seeking it out. it would be more like growing used to it rather then truly relishing it, i would think?
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Advanced Wordsmith
I think you can change from someone who thinks they want to discipline someone else, into someone who knows that instead they want to be the one who is disciplined. However, a desire to be involved in the scene is needed in the first place.
Active Ink Slinger
For me, I like to explorer and my ex liked the idea of being spanked etc. but I wasn't into that stuff at all. However I did not mind to be dominant and over time the idea of "punishing" her with pain grew on me. As it turned out she did like a few slaps on the butt but because of a very low threshold for pain it never got to be a very big thing.
So to actually contribute to the conversation..
I do think people can grow accustomed to certain sexual acts and even learn to enjoy them even if they weren't their fantasies of kinks from the start. I do not think you can make somebody enjoy extreme pain if it is not something she's into form the inside (so to speak).
So to actually contribute to the conversation..
I do think people can grow accustomed to certain sexual acts and even learn to enjoy them even if they weren't their fantasies of kinks from the start. I do not think you can make somebody enjoy extreme pain if it is not something she's into form the inside (so to speak).
This is an interesting question. The answers given so far have been great. I would like to add though that it all depends on how far you are going to push things. I say this because brainwashing and conditioning have been known to completely change a person. You can indeed change a person from mild and who does not enjoy pain, into someone who craves it and it is the only way they can reach orgasm. I personally think this is EVIL to do, and I don't know why anyone would willingly go through this... if anyone actually would.
Personally I think pushing our own boundaries and those of our partner is fine and well and is a good thing. But only as far as both are willing and WANTING to go. And as with any activity, (as others have pointed out) the more you do it, the more your tolerance and your comfort levels rise. I think naturally though, each person is predispositioned for certain things, and finding what those things are and expanding on THOSE is the best way to go.
Personally I think pushing our own boundaries and those of our partner is fine and well and is a good thing. But only as far as both are willing and WANTING to go. And as with any activity, (as others have pointed out) the more you do it, the more your tolerance and your comfort levels rise. I think naturally though, each person is predispositioned for certain things, and finding what those things are and expanding on THOSE is the best way to go.
My sub(wife) emphaticly told me she was in no way interested in pain. I started noticing an escalation in her endurance and desire for just a bit more as time went on. At the end one of her favorite sayings was, "Pain is just pleasure waiting to be processed." For a sense of scale we started with light spanking and went to a large-ish collection of floggers and canes.
My sub(wife) emphaticly told me she was in no way interested in pain. I started noticing an escalation in her endurance and desire for just a bit more as time went on. At the end one of her favorite sayings was, "Pain is just pleasure waiting to be processed." For a sense of scale we started with light spanking and went to a large-ish collection of floggers and canes.
People can change, sure, you bet. People can change and evolve either way into anything as guided that way (especially with the right person) into what was pre-existing and dormant OR become someone completely different due to new experiences -even things they were formerly NOT inclined to want or enjoy. I AM into BDSM, and though I am no expert, I feel I can say this, as per what I have seen and known firsthand.
Personally, I am not a "pain slut" -as you put it, and I do not want to be. That is not my idea of fun, but there are somethings I do that others might consider no fun or painful. I have heard a lot of people mention not liking pain and not understanding or the pain threshold we all have. That threshold can change and rise over time and exposure, it is called building up pain tolerance. Think of torture and training. I would say it is not advised to "push" for your own way on ANYTHING & in BDSM, since it is about trust and respecting limits and desires, the pleasure both ways, or what is mutually enjoyed, I would NOT reccomend being too insistant and pressuring someone. I thin one could "entice." It is supposed to be "enjoyed." Truly there are those who ARE by more severe definitions, (and those commonly thought of, perhaps), that are "sadists" and "masochist" ~ I certainly did not think I was either one, and I have learned a deeper understanding. I know some sadists enjoy seeing someone in pain and turns them on that they do NOT like, real pain is a turn on, real struggle, and there are all types and degrees. I think that you need to be on the same page for it to be safe, sane, and consensual. If pain is your thing then a slow process of introduction and easing in from shallow to deep would be a gradient course, I would think. Often that "envelope" will continue to be pushed. Some will like things - some will not. For some people it will come natural, or become inviting due to the love and adoration they may have for their partner, and for others it is all about the person. To answer your question, I DO think it can happen that they become this person, but it will not always happen, it is timing and many factors... ONE being the process.
Personally, I am not a "pain slut" -as you put it, and I do not want to be. That is not my idea of fun, but there are somethings I do that others might consider no fun or painful. I have heard a lot of people mention not liking pain and not understanding or the pain threshold we all have. That threshold can change and rise over time and exposure, it is called building up pain tolerance. Think of torture and training. I would say it is not advised to "push" for your own way on ANYTHING & in BDSM, since it is about trust and respecting limits and desires, the pleasure both ways, or what is mutually enjoyed, I would NOT reccomend being too insistant and pressuring someone. I thin one could "entice." It is supposed to be "enjoyed." Truly there are those who ARE by more severe definitions, (and those commonly thought of, perhaps), that are "sadists" and "masochist" ~ I certainly did not think I was either one, and I have learned a deeper understanding. I know some sadists enjoy seeing someone in pain and turns them on that they do NOT like, real pain is a turn on, real struggle, and there are all types and degrees. I think that you need to be on the same page for it to be safe, sane, and consensual. If pain is your thing then a slow process of introduction and easing in from shallow to deep would be a gradient course, I would think. Often that "envelope" will continue to be pushed. Some will like things - some will not. For some people it will come natural, or become inviting due to the love and adoration they may have for their partner, and for others it is all about the person. To answer your question, I DO think it can happen that they become this person, but it will not always happen, it is timing and many factors... ONE being the process.
Active Ink Slinger
well you never know until you ask, explore or try. but such things are done with consent.
Active Ink Slinger
You can quite easily turn in to someone who enjoys pain - once you try it
Story Verifier
There are so many different kinds of pain that even the definition of what a "pain slut" is can vary greatly. Some may see a person craving the not-so-tender caresses of a cane already a pain slut, while other think of needles and worse. Also, not every part of the body takes pain equally well, and while I may be able to appreciate a stinging pain on my backside, it might be way over the top on other spots of my body. That said, a pain that builds up gradually and is mixed with the right measure of pleasurable stimulation can go far beyond anything I'd normally want to endure and still be highly erotic. I like to believe that everybody is at least partially wired this way, the art is in finding the correct switches in the mind to get those wires to relay their message to the right spots in the brain. It depends on personal dispositions, trust, power balances, physical constitution and the current frame of mind. If it is accomplished by pressure, it comes with a price paid in mental health as currency, so no, that's not a road that should be travelled. The premise must always be S,S&C.
