Lurker
0 likes
Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login
BDSM Library
Lurker
0 likes
Bump
Lurker
0 likes
I am glad this has been done to clarify quite a few things.
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by anneread
I am glad this has been done to clarify quite a few things.
Thank you
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by _chica_
Bottom, sub and slave are three tiers of the receiving end in BDSM.
bottom - The receiver in a BDSM scene or session. This is the basic BDSM term for any person on the receiving end of scene play. By itself, the term simply refers to anyone who takes the passive part in play or relationship. A bottom in a relationship will likely receive playful attention from their Top, or discipline in some cases, but will only go further than that if the bottom is also a submissive or slave. Rules given to someone that is strictly a "bottom" and not one of the other two will apply to the bottom's well-being, such as bedtime or being forbidden to smoke or drink.
submissive (sub) - Unlike bottom, which is a simple statement of wanting to be the passive in play, sub refers to someone that, as a personality trait, prefers to surrender control of part of their lives to a Dominant. While a bottom's part in a session ends when the session is over, being submissive is a more constant situation. A submissive will have the same rules that a bottom might have, but could also have some self-serving rules that the Dominant assigns, like always walking behind him or wearing a certain outfit on Tuesdays.
slave - A slave is the ultimate surrender of their own control, becoming the "property" of their Master. As such, every aspect of the slave's life may be controlled by the Master at his whim, within any preset limits established at the start of the relationship. Things that others take for granted, like sitting in a chair instead of on the floor, choosing your own clothes each day or listening to your favorite music on the radio, could very well be a reward to a slave, only given when the Master feels that the slave deserves it.
Each higher tier is a subsection of the tier before it. Thus, all submissives are bottoms, but not all bottoms are submissives. All slaves are both submissive and bottom, but not all bottoms or submissives are slaves
Lurker
0 likes
Block by Block
I’m sure everyone has seen children’s building blocks, the over-sized blocks with letters of the alphabet on them. That toy started my thought process on the blocks we build D/s relationships with and so I thought I would share a block for each letter that I believe must be used when building the foundation of something wonderful.
A- Acceptance. Being able to accept your partners kinks, embracing them, stoking them and making them yours so they go from your kink to our kink.
B- Boldness. As a Daddy Dominant, there are times when I will have to be bold in my leadership. I will need to say, follow me and step forward, trusting her to set aside her fear and follow. As there are times in submissive must be bold too.
C- Communication. Both people must be able to share how they feel, what they are thinking, and do so in a ‘judgement free zone’.
D- Determination. Building a relationship will occasionally have hurdles that need to be jumped. It takes determination to clear these hurdles to keep moving forward.
E- Empathy. Couples need to be able to understand and share their feelings with each other.
F- FUN! Having fun together is key. There will be so many times that there will be hard work together on the relationship that it is important to make time to just have fun together.
G- Growth. People grow and as they grow they change. It is important to share growth in a way that grows the couple together rather than apart.
H- Happiness. Doing the little things that makes your partner smile.
I- Innovation. Find new ways to explore, do, and live the kinks that you both partner enjoy.
J- Joke. Life is serious to much of the time. Joke, have fun, and make the time shared together joyful.
K- Kiss. Kiss often, kiss for no reason, and kiss anywhere you are moved to.
L- Learn. Always be learning about and from each other. We don’t stay the same and everyday we slowly evolve. Keep up with that evolution. As Brad Hamilton says, “Learn it, Live it, Know it”.
M- Mind Blowing. Embrace the kinks of your partner, learn how to share it with them so you can make them mind blowing!
N- Nourish. Nourish each others souls. Feed both souls until they grow together as one.
O- Openness. Be open minded. Endeavor to never judge each other. Foster an relationship where there are no secrets.
P- Positive Thinking. So many people I have encountered in the realm of kink often fall back on negative thinking (and the world as a whole too). Strive to stay positive in word, deed and thought.
Q- Quality time. Make sure to arrange time to playfully enjoy each others kinks. Vanilla life can quickly drowned out the time for kink. Don’t sink, make time to play in the ocean of kink.
R- Rasavada. Use each others kinks so each of you can have Rasavada, which is to enjoy the bliss in freedom from thought.
S- Sex. Keep it fresh, keep it hot, erotic, sensual, or primal, but don’t allow the daily world to keep the physical intimacy at bay.
T- Trust. Invest in building trust, so you can explore your kinks deeper, push farther, and discover new ones.
U- Unique. A kink relationship is unique in the world as a whole. Embrace the uniqueness. Be proud to be different and do your best to not wish your relationship was like others.
V- Vulnerability. Make yourself vulnerable to your partner.
W- Worth. Never feel that you are unworthy of your partner. Both of you deserve to be happy and have that happiness together.
X- X-Rated. Do those naughty things that drive them wild!
Y- Young at heat. Keep the relationship youthful and vigorous. Refuse to let it grow old and stale. Love with the intensity of the young.
Z- Zookeeper. Be the zookeeper! Know what wild kinks your partner keeps locked in a cage. Be the zookeeper who unlocks the cage and has the zoo to let them roam free and explore.
Well I was able to make it all the way through from A to Z and now it is time to be a productive employee but there is a quiz question today. Who is who is Brad Hamilton? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?
this is from Leadhership tumblr ©LHS2018
Lurker
0 likes
just a bump with a little bit of advice for those new subbies...
you are worth much more than what the wannabe masters make you feel.
get educated before you say yes to being used by a wanna be... or a man that is just hateful toward women
and use the lifestyle to cover what they truly are , Monsters.
you are worth much more than what the wannabe masters make you feel.
get educated before you say yes to being used by a wanna be... or a man that is just hateful toward women
and use the lifestyle to cover what they truly are , Monsters.
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by _chica_
I leave you all with these other informational sites on the lifestyle of bdsm... warning many are very explicit but it would help many understand some of the underlining of this forum thread
[url=]Ambrosio’s BDSM Site[/url] - - A good source for BDSM informational resources.
[url=]
A SUbmissive's Guide [/url] - As the name suggests, this is an online resource for submissives.
[url=]APEX[/url] - Albany Power Exchange - - Event and informational resource. Essays and other resources for BDSM and power exchange relationships.
[url=]BDSM Backroom[/url] - - Library has an extensive list of essays and how-to’s.
[url=]Born Slaves[/url] - - An interesting set of essays dealing with being a slave.
[url=]Internal Enslavement[/url] - - From IE: “Internal Enslavement is a radical answer to the question ‘Just how binding and complete can consensual slavery really be?’ “
[url=]Find A Munch [/url]- - The Munch+Adult Local Link (MALL) Directory- A large and comprehensive resource to locate links to and descriptions of adult locality-based adult social groups and gatherings.
[url=]Kink Academy[/url] An online resource with many educational and instructional videos on various aspects of BDSM, although users must pay a small fee to access all of the content.
[url=]Leather-n-Roses [/url]- - A large collection of D/s, M/s and BDSM essays and other resources.
[url=]Leatherviews[/url] - - Jack Rinella’s web site with some great essays under the “Kinky Info” tab.
[url=]Peter Masters [/url] - - Mr. Master’s writings on Hypnosis, Mastery & slavery, and Dominance & submission. Includes a number of practical how-to guides for techniques and BDSM practices.
[url=]Submissive Loving[/url] - - A source for submissives and dominants interested in learning more about BDSM and the Domination/submission lifestyle. This site’s mission is to provide helpful, sound, and realistic information and advice.
[url=]Submissive Guide[/url] - - Mentoring, self-help and submissive exploration. This site is dedicated to helping submissives understand themselves and the service they wish to provide; from sexual to domestic, personal assistant to pain slut and everything in between.
[url=]The Society of Janus[/url] - - The Society of Janus is a San Francisco-based support and education organization for people interested in learning about BDSM. SOJ provides an opportunity to meet others with similar interests in a safe, relaxed atmosphere. They have only one cardinal rule: All BDSM activities can and should be safe, consensual, and non-exploitative.
[url=]The Eulenspiegel Society[/url] - - The oldest and largest BDSM support & education group in the USA
[url=]The Iron Gate[/url] - - A large collection of essays, links, stories and poetry
[url=]A Little Understanding[/url] - This site helps understand what a DD/Lg relationship and all its variations are
Thanks - really useful
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by _chica_
here is a list of references I have come accross, I have not read but one of them... but there is plenty of written works out there to help
BOOKS:
General BDSM
Come Hither: A Commonsense Guide To Kinky Sex
by Gloria G. Brame, Fireside
Consensual Sadomasochism: How To Talk About It and Do It Safely
by William A. Henkin, PhD. & Sybil Holliday, CCSSE, Daedalus Publishing
Different Loving
by Gloria Brame, Job Jacobs & Jon Brame, Villard Books
Learning the Ropes: A Basic Guide to Safe and Fun S/m Lovemaking
by Race Bannon, Daedalus Publishing. Out of print, no Kindle
The New Bottoming Book
by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (or Liszt), Greenery Press
The New Topping Book
by Dossie Easton & Janet Hardy (or Liszt), Greenery Press
Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns
by Philip Miller & Molly Devon, Mystic Rose Books
Sensuous Magic
by Pat Califia, Cleis Press. On Kindle, but out of print
SM 101
by Jay Wiseman, Greenery Press
Very useful - thanks
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by nuovacane
Very useful - thanks
My pleasure. I hope you have a wonderful journey of self-discovery and it helps you find your way.
Much love
Chica
Force of Nature
0 likes
I have realised that BDSM and I are not really on the same page, mostly I suspect due to a lack of discipline on my part. I do like to domme a bit and sub a bit, though.
One very important thing I have noticed in my explorations is the monsters who rule under the guise of Doms and Dommes. Chica, you cannot warn your audience too strongly against these creatures. Force is NOT a part of ANY good relationship.
One very important thing I have noticed in my explorations is the monsters who rule under the guise of Doms and Dommes. Chica, you cannot warn your audience too strongly against these creatures. Force is NOT a part of ANY good relationship.
Looks like we're in for a nasty spell of wether.
Gracie Goes To Hollywood's - True
The Night They Tried to Close RUMPLATIONS Bar (with JamesLlewellyn)
Lurker
0 likes
Quote by Grace
I have realised that BDSM and I are not really on the same page, mostly I suspect due to a lack of discipline on my part. I do like to domme a bit and sub a bit, though.
One very important thing I have noticed in my explorations is the monsters who rule under the guise of Doms and Dommes. Chica, you cannot warn your audience too strongly against these creatures. Force is NOT a part of ANY good relationship.
I agree.Force is never part of any relationship. In the lifestyle less. That is why we have the safe,sane, consensual as the very foundation of this lifestyle.
Her Royal Spriteness
0 likes
Quote by _chica_
I agree.Force is never part of any relationship. In the lifestyle less. That is why we have the safe,sane, consensual as the very foundation of this lifestyle.
=d>
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
Rookie Scribe
0 likes
Well, well, well, it seems you're curious about some wickedly delightful information. I personally find this thread very interesting too. Thanks for sharing the info.
If you're seeking a sinful adventure, let me introduce you to a treasure trove of adult content. You can explore phim cấp 3 for a collection of explicit videos that will surely satisfy your cravings.
Now, remember, my friend, when delving into such explicit material, it's essential to prioritize responsible consumption. Consent, respect, and understanding personal boundaries should never be forgotten, even in the realm of adult entertainment.