Nailing – BDSM play where the scrotum or breasts are nailed to a board. (not allowed on lush)
Nasogastric tube – Used in control scenes such as forced feeding.
Nasolingus – Sexual arousal from nose sucking
Necrochlesis – Sex with a corpse
Necrophilia – Sexual gratification from sex with the dead
Needle Play – another “edgeplay” where sterilized needles are inserted through the top layer of the skin (the epidermis). Most popularly it is done underneath and around the female nipple and the breast. Not for beginners.
Negotiation – discussing hard and soft limits and related items of BDSM taste before any play or relationship begins. It helps in defining Safe, Sane and Consensual between the dominant and submissive.
Newbie – Someone new to something such the BDSM play or lifestyle.
Nipple Clamps – Devices that clamp onto the nipples. Weights can be attached to stretch the nipples. Nipple Clamps often provide increased stimulation which can involve pain and pleasure. See Also, Japanese
Clover Nipple Clamps, Alligator Nipple Clamps, Tweezer Nipple Clamps
Nipple Rings – Jewelry that looks like small hoop earrings that are inserted through pierced nipples. Another popular jewelry style for pierced nipples is the barbell. There also non-permanent nipple rings which stay attached by pinching the nipple.
Nipple Torture – To cause pain to the nipples. Typically by using nipple clamps, needles, mousetraps, pulling and twisting, etc.
Nipple Shield – Decorative nipple jewelry the encircles or even covers the nipple.
Nipple Weights – Usually weights suspended from either nipple clamps or from nipple piercings.
Novice – see Newbie.
Oculolictus – Eyeball-licking
Odaxelangnia – Sexual arousal from biting
Odontophilia – A tooth fetish
Ophidiophilia – Sexual arousal from snakes
Oral Sex – Sex involving contact between mouth and any other sexual organ.
Orogastric Tube – A tube from mouth to stomach. Used in force feeding scenes. Not for beginners.
Osphresiolagnia – Sexual arousal from foul smells
OTK – “Over the Knee” spanking were the subject is placed over the lap of the person administering the spanking.
PA – see Prince Albert.
PE – see Power Exchange.
Paddle – A flat instrument used for spanking purposes; usually made of wood or some other rigid material.
Padlock – Common type of lock used in BDSM play. Use to secure bondage restraints, securely fasten chain links together, as labia weights, etc.
Pain – Pain causes the release of endorphins that is thought causes the submissive to go into subspace.
Pain Games – BDSM play involving pain.
Pain Slut – Popular expression for a submissive who loves pain. Also a masochist
Pain Threshold – The point at which stimulation becomes pain.
Pansexuality – BDSM activities encompassing all sexualities, heterosexual, homosexual, trangender, etc.
Parachute Ball Stretcher – A toy resembling a parachute from which weights can be suspended in ball torture scenes.
Phallophilia – Fetish for large penises. Something most women have.
Permanent Piercing – Piercing the body in order to insert jewelry that is intended to be worn on at least a semi-permanent basis.
Piss Play – see Water Sports, Golden Showers.
Play Piercing – Piercing the body temporarily. All piercings are removed at the end of the session
Podophilia – See Foot Fetish
Pony Play – Role-play scene where the submissive takes on the role of a pony. Can be very elaborate.
Power Exchange – The dynamic whereby the Dominant is consensually given power over the submissive, whether for just the scene or for a relationship. Sometimes called Total Power Exchange or TPE.
Press Style Nipple Clamps – These are nipple clamps that press the nipple between two pieces of metal usually forced together by a thumb screw. The thumb screw allows them to be squeezed tight or jut enough to stay in place.
Prince Albert – Also known as a PA. A male piercing between the urethra and the underside of the penis. Not named after the Prince of Monaco.
Puppy Play – Perhaps the most popular of animal RPGs. Here, the submissive actually mimics a puppy. Sometimes it can evolve into a lifestyle where the “puppy” even sleeps in a cage.
Pushy Bottom – Old school phrase for a very demanding bottom. Associated with Topping from the bottom.
Pussy Torture – The use of BDSM devices – such as clamps – on the female gential area to produce pain.
Pygmalianism – Sex with statues or inanimate objects
Pygophilemania – Sexual arousal from kissing butt cheeks
Q
Quirt – A type of buggy whip used for whipping the submissive. Easier and safer to use than a bullwhip.
R
RPG – Abbreviation for Role Play Games.
Rack – Bondage furniture patterned after the infamous torture device of the Inquisition. The bottom is put on it and “stretched” – but not in the extreme fatal way.
Real Life or Real Time – r/l or r/t – as opposed to virtual or cyber life.
Red – Most common safe word meaning stop.
Restraint – Limiting the bottom’s movement with the use of various bondage gear, equipment or devices.
Restriction – Limiting the bottom’s behavior or physical movement.
Riding Crop – see Crop.
Rimming – Tongue contact with the rectum or asshole
Ring Gag – A device that keeps the submissive’s mouth wide open. Also called a “piss gag”
Role Play Games – Taking fantasy roles in BDSM scenes. For example, nurse or doctor/patient, etc.
Rope – The most common of bondage equipment.
Rubber – After leather, the most popular fetish material.
S
SAM – Smart Assed Masochist. A pseudo submissive who attempts to control everything the dominant does.
S&M – Sadism and masochism. One who enjoy administering pain and one who enjoys receiving pain.
S/m – Modern term for S & M. Also SM, S/M, SMer
Sadist – An individual who enjoys causing pain. The term dates back to the Marquis de Sade.
Sadomasochism – The perversion of taking pleasure, especially sexual gratification from simultaneous sadism and masochism.
Safe, Sane and Consensual – A popular slogan in the BDSM world meaning that play should always be safe, with good judgment exercised. And, most importantly, it MUST be consensual.
Safe Word – A word or phrase a submissive can use to stop his or her scene. It is absolute. If a Dominant disregards a submissive’s safe word, that Dominant is considered “unsafe.” The most common safe
word is “RED!” Some also use a caution word such as “Yellow” to signify that the dominant is approaching a limit.
Saint Andrew’s Cross – A popular piece of BDSM furniture where a submissive can be conveniently tied or cuffed to it and rendered immobile. It looks like a big cross!
Safe Sex – Using condoms and taking all necessary health precautions during sex.
Saran Wrap – Brand of cling film used in mummification scenes.
Scat – Fecal play. An abbreviation for “scatological.”
Scene – A BDSM session. Can be used to refers to “public scene” at a party where the participants let others watch or a “private scene” where just the dominant and submissive are present.
Schoolgirl Role-play – Popular RPG wherein the submissive is the “bad school girl” and the Dominant is the “teacher.”
Self-Bondage – The practice of performing bondage on oneself by oneself.
Shackle – Metal or leather bondage restraint device consisting of round cuffs joined by a chain or bar.
Shaving – It is very common in BDSM for submissives to shave their pubic hair.
Shoe Fetish – One who enjoys shoes. Popular fetish, even in the vanilla world.
Slapper – Rigged paddle modified to make a loud sound.
Slave – A term used interchangeably with “submissive.” Some consider a slave a more extreme version of a submissive.
Slave Contract – A signed consensual contract, wherein a submissive or slave cedes to the Dom or Master a specified set of powers over her for a set period of time. Although legally unenforceable, it is still a powerful document between dominant and slave
Sound – Medical device to be inserted into the urethra in medical play. Also called “urethral sounds.”
Spanking – To slap on the buttocks with the open hand, or a short flat object such as a paddle or a hairbrush. Used as both punishment and/or in role-play context in BDSM scenes.
Spanking Bench – BDSM furniture, a variation on the saw horse, onto which a submissive is attached (by cuffs, rope, etc.) for the Dominant to spank and play with.
Speculum – Medical device intended for opening and examining the rectum or vagina; used mostly in “doctor/medical scene” play.
Spencer Paddle – Type of wooden paddle with holes drilled though it.
Spreader Bar – A long metal rod that holds the submissive legs, thighs or even wrists wide apart.
Stigmatophilia – Sexual attraction to those with body modifications or tattoos
Stocks – A piece of bondage furniture patterned after the Puritan model. The head and hands go through holes while the submissive is standing.
Straitjacket, Straightjacket – Confining device used mostly in psychiatric wards to restrain the insane. It is intended to prevent the movement of the arms and is usually impossible to remove without assistance.
Strangling – see Breath Control.
Strapon – A belt or harness that has a dildo attached. IT allows the wearer the ability to fuck another either in the vagina or anus.
Strapping – Another term for a “beating”.
Sub – see Submissive.
Subby – see Submissive.
Subbie – see Submissive.
Submission – The act of submitting to the will and desire of another, usually within negotiated limits.
Submissive – An individual who consents to give up power to a Dominant. This can be for any duration – for an hour or a lifetime.
Subspace – A state of mind and body – often like a trance – caused by endorphins emitted during a BDSM scene.
Surface Burn – A temporary brand, usually produced with copper wire heated less hot than steel used in making a permanent brand.
Surface Piercing – Temporary piercing through the skin’s surface.
Suspension – suspending a submissive with ropes, webbing or chain so that no part of the body touches the floor. Not recommended for beginners.
Switch – A person who can both Top and bottom depending on the situation and his partner. Many switches have switches as partners.
T
24/7 – A 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. At all times.
TENS Unit – Acronym for Transcutaneous Electrical Neural Stimulation unit. Used for sexual stimulation is electrical play scenes. See also Violet Wand.
TPE – Total Power Exchange; term reserved for established 24/7 Master/slave relationships.
TT – Tit torture.
Temporary Piercing – Piercing the body temporarily. All piercings are removed at the end of the session. Same as play piercing.
Thermolysis – A form of electrical hair removal.
Thong Whip – A whip made of thing strands of either leather or rubber. When swing lightly it will not cause much pain, when swung hard it can cause considerable pain.
Timophilia – Sexual arousal from wealth, yet another thing most females have even if the wont admit to it.
Top – A Dominant, the person who is in charge or has control.
Topping from the bottom – This is where a submissive dictates the action in a scene, something that is highly frowned upon. Can also be used in real time context. When a submissive becomes too demanding.
Torture – term meaning to cause pain.
Toy, BDSM – Any piece of equipment used in a BDSM scene.
Tragus – Piercing through the ridge on the face side of the ear hole.
Transgender – Not quite male, not quite female.
Transgenderism – incorporating manners, behaviors, appearance, etc of the opposite sex while still maintaining some of the above of your biological sex.
Tweezer Nipple Clamps – A style of nipple clamp that is like a pair of tweezers with a ring around the outside. As you push the ring toward the pincher ends, it causes the clamp to tighten or bite harder.
U
Urethral Play – Play involving the urethra, the tube that runs between the bladder and the outside of the body. Not for beginners.
Urethral Sound – Medical device to be inserted into the urethra in medical play.
Urolagnia – Sexual excitement from urine or the act of urination
V
Vacuum Pumping – Using the suction of a vacuum to increase the size of body parts.
Vampirism – Sexual arousal caused by drinking blood
Vanilla – People not in the BDSM or Fetish lifestyle. Most people, whether admitted or not have some sort of fetish.
Violet Wand – An electric device usually in form of a glass cylinder, which uses the effect of high frequency electric charges to apply intense stimulation.
Virtual life or Virtual Time – v/l or v/t – often used to describe “online life” as opposed to r/l (real life).
WS – see Water Sports.
Water Sports – The sexual enjoyment of urine play. Also called Golden Showers (or GS).
Wattenburg Wheel – A medical pinwheel that is commonly used in BDSM play to stimulate or cause a feeling sensation.
Wax Play – Play in which the Dominant brings hot wax on the submissive’s skin.
Web – A bondage device, popular in many dungeons, created with ropes that are spun like a spider’s web.
Weights – Used to stretch body parts such as nipples and labia; usually attached to clamps or piercings.
Whip – Usually made of leather with a medium size handle and long braided leather strings.
Whipping Post – In olden times, a post to which offenders were fastened for whippings. Reproductions are sometimes used in BDSM dungeons.
Z
Zelophilia – Sexual arousal from jealousy
This is really the kind of thing I was looking for something to teach something to recognise yourself with..I mean this is fantastic...I will post more as I read through it....
Find Simar on:
1. Skype: Simar Singh
2. Kik: simar2308
How do you start a D/s relationship when both are newcomers?
If you and your partner have no experience or knowledge of D/s relationships or how to safely and appropriately play along a BDSM vein, I strongly suggest that you invest a few dollars and a little time in some basic education. My recommendation to all newcomers is to read several very accessible and readily available books. First, I think that you and your partner should read the “Topping Book” (for Doms) and the “Bottoming Book” (for subs) by Dossie Easton. These small books are available at Amazon and even some of the larger chain book stores and will give you a good overview of what it means to Top and bottom and generally how to go about it. I also recommend “Domination and Submission - The BDSM Relationship Handbook” by Michael Makai. Then, I recommend that you together read “Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns” by Phillip Miller and Molly Devon. This is more of a how-to book that will guide you in things like establishing limits and some explanation of various kinks that you and your partner may or may not want to explore. Importantly, it contains an excellent pre-scene BDSM questionnaire that will help you and your partner discover, contemplate, and evaluate various BDSM activities and establish limits between you.
To me, this is the bare minimum you and your partner should do to arm yourselves with some basic knowledge and a common understanding of what you want to do together and what you each seek out of the relationship. If you are looking for additional references and more in-depth information, I suggest that you look at the list of books and links above. Here you will find all manner of resources for additional knowledge and growth. But start with the basics as I have suggested above and you will be well-armed to begin a meaningful D/s relationship.
Finally, once you feel you have a basic understanding of the various dynamics associated with D/s relationships, I suggest searching online for groups in your area with which you can affiliate and learn more. Many groups in the kink community hold “Munches” which are gatherings of similarly minded people in a public venue like a coffee shop or restaurant. There are friendly and welcoming gatherings designed for newcomers and generally held in street clothes and a very public space. Its the best way to meet some folks, ask questions, and being to learn about the kink community.
Hope this helps and enjoy your journey.
What Is A Little?
Everywhere I look, the definitions of a little and a baby-girl/boy are different so it's hard for me to come up with a concrete idea of what it is...
Many people describe a little/babygirl as someone who plays the role of a child at a certain age. which is completely different to how I see it. That definition to me sounds more like ageplay which is simply roleplay... pretend.
Many people describe a little/baby-girl as an adult who plays the role of a child at a certain age. which is completely different to how I see it. That definition to me sounds more like age-play which is simply role-play... pretend. The way I see it, is age-play is a completely separate area of D/s. The specific ages the role-play... I consider that age-play, and there's nothing wrong with it, but it's just different to a little or a baby-girl.
That's not to say a little or a baby-girl can't participate in age-play... because it does fit nicely with the lifestyle... but it's not the point of being a little (please keep in mind this is my own definition, there is no right or wrong)
A baby girl to me is an adult submissive who needs the positive male role model and craves the protection, but also needs the role somewhere between a submissive and a pet. they look up to their Master as a Daddy or father figure. They feel vulnerable and crave protection and gentle care. They do not specifically play or feel at a certain age, they just crave the protection, support, reliability and nurturing nature of a Daddy Dom
A little is a type of baby-girl
A little has the same needs as a baby-girl... but expresses inner vulnerability and innocence to the point that they sometimes appear childlike in their behavior. It's not about role playing a certain aged child, it's about expressing those... childlike needs to the point that behavior may appear childlike
It's real, it's not pretend, it's not age-play.
A little has a kind of.... approximate age range that they feel... but it may fluctuate and isn't a concrete age... because it's just an estimation based on their needs and emotions whereas if you ask an age-player how old they are, they'll tell you straight away.
A little will hesitate upon being asked for an age, and not know whether to give you the age they are chronologically... or how old they're feeling... they usually don't know how old they're feeling and can only guess.
My little is young... though I'd not be able to give you an age... not an exact one anyway
It's not black and white about what age you are at either... in age-play, people tend to either be role playing a child ... or they're their adult self, and not somewhere in between
Whereas... with a little... they can be at their littlest... they can be at their actual adult age, or they could be floating somewhere along the spectrum between the two.
Because it's not role play, it's a mix of feelings and emotions, and when you're feeling emotions from both your adult and little self, you land somewhere in the middle."
Copyright ©2013 Kai & cassi productions
What Is A Daddy Dom?
This explanation was written by my friend Llie. Thank you Llie!
A Daddy-Dom is simply the Dominant partner in a D/s relationship. Like a Master or Dom, a Daddy is the top in their relationship and owns or cares for the submissive. Depending on your own personal preferences and relationship dynamic, a Daddy can be many things to his little but there are some generalities that exist in most Daddy/little relationships.
His love for his babygirl goes without question. He loves her as much for who she is, as for what she will become with His guidance. she is ...... His prized possession. a Daddy's eyes will light up when she comes into a room and take great pride in her success's. Afterall, He helped to create her. She holds the most tender part of His heart and has greatest power to hurt Him.
This love would not be possible without respect. A Daddy Dom needs to feel pride in his lilgirl. He needs to know she can hold her own in the outside world and still submit to Him. He holds the greatest respect for the gift she has given Him and takes great pains to increase it’s value. It is extremely important to Him to know she can be with any man and she chooses to be with Him.
He knows that this makes discipline a priority in their lives, His discipline is more important than in some other D/s relationships. In order for the lilgirl to really trust, she must know He means what He says. If His lilgirl is going to be the best she can possibly be He must stand firm. He uses his experience in life and His knowledge of her to provide proper direction and punishment when the need arises.
If He does not enforce discipline, this respect becomes a tenuous thing. If His submissive finds that she can manipulate Him out of punishing her, she begins to lose respect and the ability to empower becomes impeded. He understands that it becomes increasingly difficult to be possessed by someone you do not respect.
This takes great strength on His part. It takes strength to control her, and to shape her to His needs and desires. It takes strength to be her confidant, her shoulder, her anchor. It takes strength to let her out into the world when all He wants to do is hold her safe in His arms. And it takes strength to do what is necessary when she needs to be disciplined.
A Daddy Dom provides something else that is very important to His submissive...acceptance. She is safe in His arms because He knows her, everything about her, and He still loves her. When she goes to Him she knows that this Man knows all of her dirty little secrets and it doesn’t matter. To Him she is and always will be beautiful.
A Daddy Dom and a Sadistic Dom are by no means mutually exclusive. Many Daddy Doms embrace their sadism while understanding and feeding their submissive's masochism. This balance is necessary to many lilgirls because it allows all parts of her to be nourished, leading to an incredibly fulfilling relationship.
I think most Dominants have a bit of the Daddy in them, taking on the role of Male authority figure in the submissive’s life and using their power to enrich that life. Daddy/lilgirl verbalizes that feeling, and adds a dimension of warmth, caring, and ritual that it’s participants crave.
Perhaps a Daddy Dom is something only a lilgirl can understand.
Daddy as a Father
Unlike age players or role players, Daddies do not consider themselves a father to their little. They consider their role much like how a Dom would look at their role over their sub. Though their little may call them Daddy, they are not observed as a father and they don’t look at their little as if they were their child.
What do Daddy-Doms Do?
Daddies are in charge of their little. While they do not pretend to be their little’s father, they will take on a parental role as the Dominant. They are there to protect, guide, nurture and love their little. While in some D/s relationships, the Dominate may order their submissive frivolously for their own pleasure, a Daddy will order or set rules for their little based on nurturing goals and what is best for their little.
Why do Daddies like littles?
This can be asked the same for any relationship. Daddies like little's based on their own personal likes and dislikes and what they find attractive. A Daddy should enjoy the regression that their little naturally does and appreciate the child-like attributes of their little, but they will also find their adult side attractive.
The Title Daddy
There is a big difference between Daddy as a title for a Dominant in a D/s relationship and Daddy as a title for a father. While many have some reservations about this title, it is nothing more than that: a title. Daddies are not interested in , or any other paraphernalia associated with children even though their title is often misunderstood and associated with that. When a little calls her Daddy by title, the feeling associated is nothing like the feeling she would get when she calls her father the same title. It’s the same with any other multi-use word in our language. For instance, the world love can be used to describe many things. You don’t have the same feelings for when you say you love bubbles as you do when you say you love your spouse.
Daddies and Sex
A lot of people just starting out in this lifestyle wonder if it’s still okay to have sex. As two consenting partners in a loving relationship, sex should be normal. Just like any other relationship, sex is natural and healthy for growth and bonding. Sex in a Daddy/little relationship is not done like that of role players where the sexual attraction may in some cases stem from deep seeded interest in or . Sex between a Daddy and his little is just like sex between any people in a relationship; as two consenting adults.
Daddy-Dom v. Master
Daddies are very similar to Masters but there are some striking differences. First, Daddies cherish their submissive's little side and encourage her to come out and play. Second, Daddies are strict about different things. Where a Master may be strict about procedure and protocol, Daddies are more concerned with their submissive's goals and needs. Third, a Daddy can be more playful than most Masters. Masters tend to have to be more rigid with their submissive or slaves. Of course, we aren’t saying Masters are unable to show affection or be playful. But as a Daddy, playfulness is practically a part of the job description. It’s something you would have to do in order to keep up with your little.
Copyright ©2013 Kai & cassi productions
Littles and Age-players... What's The Difference?
I see that people often get confused by the two, or consider them the same thing. I don't consider that the same thing in the slightest. Age-play and littles are similar in many ways and can work wonderfully when used together, but I don't age-play.
That doesn't mean I see any problem with age-play, so I hope I don't unintentionally offend age-players.
Age-play and DD/lg are similar, but also very different. They work so well together if that's what you're after, and I think that's why people confuse the two so easily, as they sometimes seem to mesh into one another. Because a little who is also an age-player will explain what being little is to her, but because she also age-plays, her explanation may be confusing.
So what IS the difference?
Ageplay to me is more about the roleplaying of a child at a certain age whereas for a little, being childlike is an innate part of their personality. Even in their "adult" mindset, they still have charactaristics that are childlike.
Being little is not about role-playing a certain age, it's about expressing those inner emotions that you can't express in your "adult" life... Vulnerability, innocence, dependence. And a little's way to do this is to act childlike. A little usually doesn't have a specific age, instead it'll vary along a spectrum. Factors like the environment they're in, the people they're with and their mood may affect how "little" a little is at any given point.
If you ask a little (assuming they don't age-play) their age, they are likely to either look at you confused, not sure what to answer, make a guess based on how they feel, or they'll tell you their chronological age. An ageplayer is much more likely to know exactly what age they are playing.
An age-player is more playing the role of a child, role-playing a child at a specific age... If you ask an age-player her/his age, then you will usually receive a concrete answer of the age they are playing.
Usually, a little won't snap in and out of their little mode straight away, it's a progression into it and a progression out of it. Ageplayers tend to be much more flexible in clicking into their childlike role and back out.
Littles make wonderful ageplayers because someone who is naturally childlike can of course pull off the role of a child seamlessly. I do not age-play, but that doesn't mean little's don't age-play... many little's are age-players.
Copyright ©2013 Kai & cassi productions
I have updated the links to the websites... a few more vocabulary words and I enclosed some of the articles on that site I posted...
I was asked about the Dd/lg lifestyle/relationships in all of its variations.
I do love getting the questions but please remember I do not know all of it all I do is provide you with links and perhaps guide you with someone that might answer your question.
and also remember that there is not one set of rules for this... find out whom you are and what you like, find someone that balances you.
to decide to follow this life style is more than just the kink, and no, it is not about the pain or the sexual gratification. it is about that person completing you helping you become a better you...
I have had some Dom's tell me that even if it means to let them go as they have no more to offer the sub... they are ok with it...
I have also been told and I prefer the monogamous long term relationship, perhaps one that last a lifetime.
Well, I have been asked to talk about Rope bondage. which is seen here in lushes own chat rooms and forums.
I will admit to know little about this Art... but I do know there are a few different ones. and I will go ahead and petition that if you know this
art form please put in your input here...
I will educate myself in this as well and post what I learn on here as I go along.
To start I know about the Japanese art form of Kimbaku, Shibari, and Hojojutsu and Fusion Bondage...
I will try and look for sites and places to share on there on this subjects
Being dominant in bed, and being a Dom are completely different things. Boys pretending to be men need to stop labeling themselves Dom, way too many women are being hurt. They deserve better.
