BDSM 101

Quote by JustAnotherSapphic
Forgive my dumb questions but I guess this is where I can ask them.

How does it work if you know you're not into the sexual aspects? What if D/S appeals to you but only the emotional parts of it, like aftercare and feeling protected? I'm so confused.

Not all D/s relationships are simply physical. In your case, what you need to do is talk a prospective D/s and explain what you want from a relationship. Some may be willing to take you on with those constraints. Some may not. It's just a matter, like any other relationship, of finding the right connection/match.

Been interested in BDSM for play for a very long time and maybe now, perhaps as a lifestyle. I understand Masters are trained by Maestros and subs are trained by Masters. I'm 74 don't want to give up any of what little time I got left wastefully. Spent last 50 years in positions of leadership and control, still there. Being sub is out. So how do I find a female sub willing to consider a person my age to get my foot in the door.

I have recently developed a very loving, committed relationship with two beautiful subs. They want to be collared, and I want to make that moment special. What are your best ideas or thoughts on how to do a meaningful collaring ceremony?

I am a sub and have had only one Mistress. She unfortunately had to move across the country 4 years ago due to Her father passing and has stayed to tend to his affairs, businesses and assets. Due to my job and responsibilities to my employees I was unable to leave with her. I still feel lost. Not only was She my Mistress but we had a romantic relationship that I don't think I'll find again. Although She was always my Mistress first, we still did the mundane and boring things of daily life. Shopping, bills, going out with friends but with always the understanding that She was in charge always. My role was always to serve Her every want or need and to make Her happy. She in return gave me what I so desperately miss.

Bumping up this thread as I have noticed several interested in the Lifestyle.

Quote by JustAnotherSapphic
Forgive my dumb questions but I guess this is where I can ask them.

How does it work if you know you're not into the sexual aspects? What if D/S appeals to you but only the emotional parts of it, like aftercare and feeling protected? I'm so confused.

That'your specialty of kink you've got.it is very good that you ask, you can progre ss more into this kink of yours, just let your Mommy/Master know you'renot into pain and anything relating to it. Dmif you would love to know more, I am LGBTQ Teacher also

Quote by Madipoo

I am a sub and have had only one Mistress. She unfortunately had to move across the country 4 years ago due to Her father passing and has stayed to tend to his affairs, businesses and assets. Due to my job and responsibilities to my employees I was unable to leave with her. I still feel lost. Not only was She my Mistress but we had a romantic relationship that I don't think I'll find again. Although She was always my Mistress first, we still did the mundane and boring things of daily life. Shopping, bills, going out with friends but with always the understanding that She was in charge always. My role was always to serve Her every want or need and to make Her happy. She in return gave me what I so desperately miss.

Oh that's💔

How about you have another mistress to fill in?

I am very new to this, is it normal to be terrified of learning just how sadistic and depraved I can be? The empath in me is really struggling to acknowledge how I can enjoy inflicting cruelty and suffering on others. It genuinely terrifies me how deep my sadism runs

Quote by Naievity

I am very new to this, is it normal to be terrified of learning just how sadistic and depraved I can be? The empath in me is really struggling to acknowledge how I can enjoy inflicting cruelty and suffering on others. It genuinely terrifies me how deep my sadism runs

hI, Naievity. welcome to the forum. is it normal, you ask. unless you're a monster, then yes, it is. the desire to inflict pain on someone vs the actuality of doing it are two different things. having empathy is good - it will keep you from going too far. i'm a masochist. i like pain. people like me will push at people like you to inflict it. the thing is, you need to set the limits of what you are comfortable with and then "learn" how far you can go with an individual to satisfy both your needs. i am partnered with a woman who is a sadist. it's kind of a checks and balance system for us.

my advice. take it slow and in increments with a partner. when you 'hurt' them talk about it afterwards. communication is key. was that too much for them? not enough? did they want more? did you want more? work out both your limits, and realize that no matter how far you want to go, you have to abide by those limits. thing is, people like me? we enjoy having cruelty and suffering inflicted on us - remember that. and, of course, always use a safeword.

feel free to ask more, either here, or in PM. i'm always happy to answer questions.