my boyfriend lets me keep mine but who knows if he will stay. i let him rub his hands inside my underwear and we kiss each others privates but is that enough or will he leave me?
If he really loves you, he will.
It is a tricky matter. Intimacy (intercourse) is a highly emotional thing with someone you love. I don't know if I could get married without having sex. While shallow on the surface, that isn't quite true.
I believe for a marriage to work well, there needs to be an established sex of sexual compatibility. You won't know till you bump the uglies. That's my philosophy at any rate. Much as we pretend it isn't a huge factor, sex and sexual compatibility is an important thing in a relationship. Not having it will lead to finding other faults in the person....
If saving it until marriage is an important thing for you, don't be pressured or feel pressured to give it up.
You'll only ever know though if you talk with him about it. Has he even voiced or shown discontent or frustration in the first place about not getting to the penultimate level of intimacy yet anyway?
Yes I would not have a problem with that at all
Big-haired Bitch/Personality Hire
What do you mean your boyfriend lets you keep your virginity? It's yours. Do with it as you please. If waiting until marriage is something you feel strongly about, then find someone who thinks you're worth the wait. If there ever comes a point where he wants to go further than he knows you're willing to go, then it's time to move on.
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If she wanted to save her virginity until marriage I would wait, but if that also included no sexual contact whatsoever until marriage, I would probably move on.
personally, i'm fine with waiting but every guy is different. it you can still have a sex life without having sex. however, if you do go 'all the way,' you can't back to saving yourself again.
Yes I would have.
But as an older guy now, I would certainly advise a younger girl not to build the act of sex up to mythological proportions.
Sure, it should be taken seriously, but if over a persons married lifespan they might have sex several thousand times, it is more important to worry about it being good throughout, not just the first time.
That involves communication, understanding and daring ... amongst other things.
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I've been in past relationships where the girl has wanted to wait till marriage. It was never a source of disdain between us. It is something that I whole-heatedly respected.
wow. I'm surprised. I thought this convo would go the other way. way to go men!!!!!!!!
If he truly loves you he will wait no matter what, I would be willing to wait if I had to.
From my own experience, if you find someone you really love and want to be with, 'saving' yourself doesn't seem as important as it once was
why do you want to be a virgin?
There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a virgin until you get married, if he has a problem with it, then he is not the right one for you and is only looking for one thing.
It depends on how long she wants to wait until we're married? Of course, we could do anal and her cherry would stay intact until the honeymoon.
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates No, I wouldn't. I could not be with a girl who doesn't think sex is important enough to at least make sure of sexual compatibility with your partner before dooming both of you to an unsatisfied marriage. I like sexually open-minded girls and being able to explore everything with my partner. I also don't believe in marriage and it has no personal meaning to me, which is another factor.
Promise to the parental unit huh?
I don't believe it is right for someone to control your sexual habits, whether living or from the grave...
I wouldn't break it to spite, but staying a virgin out of a promise to your mother (who shouldn't have any sway on your sex life) is silly.
I won't try to convince you otherwise, but...
But honestly, it is YOUR life. If you want to have sex and trust the man you are with deeply, go for it.
Some promises need to be broken and having that held over you...ugh. You shouldn't feel guilty over it.
Then again, I think the whole stay abstinent until marriage is bunk. But that's my opinion.
If I'm with a girl I really like and see a long future with, definitely.
But if it's a short-term relationship, like a casual college girlfriend, probably won't stay with her.
I have been in the past, though that's not an issue in my current relationship. It didn't bother me then, but then I wasn't accustomed to having a lot of sex, nor was I particularly used to having a girlfriend. With that in mind, we broke up because we didn't like each other that much. I suspect that if you and he are in love, then it won't matter that much. It's your virginity, not his, and if he doesn't accept that, and realize that if it's important to you it has to be important to him, then maybe it's not meant to be.
My one piece of active advice is to not let this issue push either of you into getting married before you should.
It would also be interesting to know if he's a virgin or not.