Thanks to everyone who has given me advice. I have tried talking to him, wearing sexy things, trying to get things going before we go to bed. I have just let him know how he makes me feel. I havent gotten answers yet, but I have made my point clear. Sometimes it takes him a while to express what is going on with him. Int the mean time, I am so happy to have some friends to talk to and lean on.
It can just be fun to watch porn alone. Some special "me time".
But most of the times I really do prefer a real women over porn lol
I'm not saying this is the right answer, but I asked myself what I would do if my woman was doing the same thing. I came up with 2 answers.
Walk in on him and his porn and start watching and see if it could be a joint activity...
Or, plan on being caught watching porn and touching yourself as he walks in
I'm not a huge visual porn kinda guy, but my woman and I have watched some together and it always leads to sex
I believe you've taken the correct (and only) step to gain clarification, in talking with him. It can take some people a long while to actually express themselves honestly about how they're really feeling, and sometimes they don't even know how to tell you, or even how they're feeling, as weird as that may sound. After all, we wouldn't have the thriving psychology/psychotherapy profession if we were all able to really get in touch with how we felt, and express it clearly to someone we care about.
And I'm not saying you would do this at all, but if and when he does start to talk about it? Make sure to let him talk, and let him finish what he's saying... again, as I say this I'm knowing from my own habits that sometimes I can interrupt because I think I know what they're saying, and it can cut dead any train of thought they may have finally been able to get happening. As I tell myself, "I have two ears and one mouth, use them in that proportion!" If you don't do it, then disregard this whole paragraph!
And I hope things move forward for you and your partner. Communication, it's the name of the game.
ah reminds me of the movie don jon where he likes porn more than real sex because he doesnt have to give somethin back and real sex is underwhelming in comparison. porn gives an illussion to how sex can be but some men dont realise its still a goddamn movie
I know this is an old thread but I would guess there are other problems in the relationship. I would say there is a divide between you too outside of the bedroom. It can be hard to be sexual with your wife when you are harboring ill feelings.
There is a second idea. He who has the gold rules. In the case of sex women control it for the most part. You want sex how you feel it should be. In many cases the woman doesnt take the time to understand mens desires and actually crush his ability to openly express his desires.
As an example. Men are very visual, it is how we are created and there is nothing we can do about it. But many women are very self conscious about men looking at them naked. I was told by more than 1 woman that they were uncomfortable to totally open up for a man. We want to see all of you. We buy lingerie and she wont wear it or if she does she jumps under the covers. So your wife wont be open with her body so you look at porn.
Also when our sexual desires or curiosities dont align with yours you call us perverts. Much in the same way the pc crowd uses words like racist to make people out to be something they are not. Pretty soon you feel alienated. You take some sex but you also find your outlets.
I think you need to find out why he is no longer interested in sex with you. I think you should make a deal that he stops looking at porn in return you find out what it takes to get him back in bed.
It,s nice to be selfish sometimes.
because not as many women want sex as you'd think
What kind of porn is he watching? He might be in to gay porn to satisfy a need that a woman can't meet.
For me, I like both. I jerk off about as much as I have sex with my wife. What I like about masturbating is that it comes without pressure and without risk of pregnancy. I love my wife, and we have sex 5-6 times a week, but jerking off to porn relieves fantasies that sex with my wife doesn't. Sometimes, it is just a physical need, too. Whereas sex is an intimate thing, jerking off is just about the physical release. Also, my wife works nights, so often I dedicate some alone time, which allows me to do things like read these posts, learn about sexual tendencies, explore my bi side, etc.
Kitty 40- ALOT & I mean ALOT of women hold back on giving sex so a man uses porn to masturbate & get SOME kind of release. I would & do rather watch porn to get off since my wife does not give it up much anymore. I will do 99.9% of anything for her sexually but barely get it in return.
