Can't and won't speak for anyone else, but the ONLY time I ever did was AFTER the ex had already had two long term affairs I discovered later. By that point I could see no reason for me to refuse when the hot young babe offered, so...
Oh and Will, in this instance, it wasn't "revenge" as I said I simply no longer saw any reason for ME to say no.
Looking down, uh Ma'm that is exactly the way my ex thought ...when SHE was having those affairs. At the time she used it as an excuse to spread her legs for those two other guys...she was wrong. In fact, I'd turned down the offer of her 18 year old sister's virginity.
Men cheat because they are 'hard-wired' to spread their sperm far and wide and will crawl naked on their bellies across broken glass to get to a readily available female.
This seems a bit generalist, I have no desire to cheat. .... btw, I'm not out of shape, creepy, or "uninterested" in torrid sex, I just only think of one woman. Pick an exceptional girl, and voila, no urge to stray.
As put the original question is far too narrow in scope to secure answers that can advance the underlying issues. It also contains evidence (surely unintended) of premature judgement and innate biases. These have already been pointed out.
My first caveat is to ask what constitutes cheating. If one is very uptight, and there is evidence of that in some of the answers above, so called cheating in the mind is reprehensible. To anyone subscribing to that belief I would simply say ...look into yourself and ask why you think that. It is a sign of personal insecurity and a wish to control another's mind. Surely not a healthy and secure foundation for any relationship. Any one or male or female can look at a member of the preferred sex and say "I really want a bit of that". It is pure lust triggered by pheromones and other signals given off (often unintentionally) by the object of attention, (not a sin but a purely biological reflex occasioned by oxytocin release). Give enough of that hormone to the most extremely bigoted religious fruitcake and they will act on it. In the normal person it is nearly always harmless and not acted upon. To call that cheating is to live in another reality in my book.
Next up someone, if they really can discern one, tell me the difference between going to have my teeth scraped every few months by an attractive dental hygienist who I am alone with for an hour in a private surgery, and hypothetically going to see a Dominatrix with whom there is no sexual contact.
Again the difference between seeing a psychologist for counselling about fetishist behaviours and seeing said hypothetical Dominatrix
Take it a stage further how about seeing a masseuse where all clothing is removed and seeing said Dominatrix.
Finally going to see a beautician for intimate waxing, holding a saucy conversation with her and seeing said Dominatrix.
All degrees of behaviour that are culpable to some but by no means all.
What then if the "cheated" upon knows and tolerates it, or doesn't even care?
Remember Bill Clinton said in front of millions that he "did not have sex with that woman" after admitting Monica Lewinsky sucked his cock, and he came on her dress.
Many people have sexual liaisons with others their partners never ever know about.
These points are made to demonstrate just how difficult it is to define cheating and how easy it is to argue oneself into the absurd position that no one should ever have friends other than a single partner for life in case such relationships turn sexual.
A lot of the points made above are well made, but this is a much more complex issue that it looks.
I have no answer but only a shed load of other questions.
Basically comes down to something is missing. They either are not satisfied. Want more. Or are just tired of the same ol thing. Could also be the want to feel desired again. The need for excitement is also a big driver if infidelity.
I can't speak for others. I think that you are wired that way, or you are not.
Circumstances sometimes happen where a spouse has cheated on you.
In some cases this spurs the other on to cheat.
I think that you have to be true to yourself. I doubt I would ever cheat. But if that extra special person happened by, and knowing what you know, would you take advantage of that opportunity?
Because of the lack of interest from a spouse or girlfriend. Which if a girlfriend I would just move on. Not just sexual lack of interest but emotional as well. For me the emotional leads to the sexual, so it may start as a friend or two people sharing what there feeling is lacking in there relationships, and down the road end up physical.
Common sense tells me that there is a cheating woman for every cheating man. But then again there are men who cheat with men and women who cheat with women.
I don't cheat.
There are a lot of different reasons men and women both try to justify cheating, but what it comes down to is excuses. If there is something wrong in the relationship you are already in, cheating isn't going to magically fix it. It's only going to make things worse, especially when the other person finds out about it. And they will find out. EVERY TIME.
When someone cheats, no matter the "reason", they are basically saying "Me having sex is more important than your trust. My needs are more important than you are." Part of being in a relationship is caring about the other persons feelings. It means loving someone enough to put them first. If you don't care about them, and don't want to be faithful, it is far better to just break up with them. Just don't be in a relationship. Don't waste someone else's chance at happiness because you don't want to keep your pants zipped.
No matter the reason, it comes down to selfishness. Cheating is one of the most selfish things as person can do in a relationship, whether you are a man or a woman. Cheating is not an accident. It's a deliberate choice a person makes to betray someone's trust, and there is no excuse good enough to justify that.
I think you will find as many reasons as there are people out there. We each do things for our own reasons. I have not actually cheated, but have considered it many times. My wife and I have discussed it and she does not approve of sex outside of marriage. Over the last 15 years we have both changed and grown in different ways.
She has gained weight and lost interest in the porn and exhibitionist tendencies that were so much fun when we were first together. I have maintained my fitness (better than most, but not ripped) and continued to write a little erotica and view different type of porn on sites like this.
If I cheat it will be because these differences have created a gap between us that neither of us can close. A relationship must have some trust, attraction and commitment once these start to go the temptations begin to get hold of you.
Statistically speaking woman are more likely to cheat on their partners than men.
The main reason people cheat is because I think from knowing other people who have they want to experience something different to what they have. In a lot of cases they dont even think of hurting their partners they just think of what they are gaining out of it.
Often the other person makes them feel attractive and turned on in a way their partner doesnt or cant, for some its the danger / aspect perhaps thats appealing.
One girl I knew was going to cheat on her bf with me (I didnt let her) did so because she had been away from him so long while at university she just missed the physical intimacy and just wanted to feel something.
" same thing that makes a baby cry will make a good man get up and
go.". Carla Bonoff
Men cheat for the same reasons women cheat, there isn't really an answer all for this question. However the reasons I've heard most tend to be;
- bored but won't break it off with their partner for one reason or another
- were seduced by another and were either caught up in the moment or lacked the willpower to back out.
- developed feeling for another and instead of deciding on a person who they wanted to be with decided to have their cake and eat it too.
Boredom, opportunity, small brains... who really knows? It's not just men that cheat, if a guy's cheating then there's generally a woman involved and invariably she's cheating on someone, too.
Said to be the only statistic men and women are equal on, cheating.
1) because the girl wont do x y or z
2) long lapses between sessions at home
3) mid life crisis
4) seduced by another
5) blackmail
Because a lot of guys are assholes.... but truly, I have no idea why.
The Code of a toy:
Pleasure can be achieved through joy or Sex.
To provide one with pleasure is to live. To live is to please someone.
A day without laughter or Sex is a day not worth recalling. A day that was not worth living. Those days don't exist toy a toy. I'm the BoyToy of Lush.
I'm the Best of them all.
Men want two kinds of women.. one is prim and proper lady who looks good in public. The other is a wanton slut that loves to fuck.
The problem is that men don't realize women are a mix of both and that they can ebb and flow between the two. they begin to see their wives and GFs as prim and go to seek the slut.. .
What they don't realize is they can have both in one.. !
Why have I cheated? Plenty of sex before marriage then it gradually became less and less
9/10 times men cheat is because their relationship/marriage goes stale.
They try different things to make it work and it doesnt so they do 1 of 2 things suffer in silence and they will watch porn or sleep with a hooker or visit a massage parlour or 2 they will cheat and have a affair.
I regret having an affair all those years ago, my marriage was good, but the sex side was bad, dont get me wrong we were having sex but it was the same routine, foreplay, oral sex cuddle sleep nothing more.
I started having some attention from this woman who worked at the local supermarket, and we just flirted when i was paying for my food etc, one day i'd gone in and we again chatted and that was that, a work colleague then came back and gave me a piece of paper with this womans telephone number and said ring me sometime.
Foolishly i did, but it was the most amazing sex I had ever had, roleplays, i'd go over lunchtime and id have a txt key under door mat, let urself in and she's be tied up on the bed and she'd day do whatever u want, we went dogging, watched porn, experimented she'd pee on me in the shower etc etc etc, but then i got caught out and ended up losing my wife our home the other woman.
I have tried so many times to get back with my ex but she dont want to know, so i guess i dont blame her really, but i see my boy on a weekly basis so one good thing comes from it.
so guys before you cheat, think of the bigger picture, is it worth it for a bit of rough and tumble, my opinion definately not!!!!
Personally for me it was because i was young and stupid and didnt realize what i had until it was too late.
