Quote by lafayettemister
Secure and independant. I don't want to be responsible for all her entertainment, worth, and emotions. It's way too much a burden to be responsible for another person's mood. That's your shit, not mine.
Quote by Magical_felix
Wow man, that's your wife... That's what I would say to a casual friend that started getting dramatic on me.
I've never been married but I have had serious girlfriends I've lived with so it's almost the same thing. A couple of these girls were very attached to me and it was like that, very dependent on me for their mood or happiness. But many many women are like that when they are with a man they really love. I mean they look up to us, some of them need to follow, they need to be told where YOU chose to reserve a table for dinner. They want to get excited about a concert tickets that YOU scored. They want to pout and vent and complain sometimes and they want you to be that dude that snaps them out of that. They want you to be that guy that first attracted them, that dude that made them happier than any other girl when you first met them.
I can see that desire to try hard to make her happy, that instinct to "daddy" your girl fading when you've been married for a long time, not judging... But did you always feel that way? "your emotions are your shit, not mine" I can't imagine a girl wanting to marry me in the first place if that was my attitude.
Quote by lafayettemister
Actually, I was talking about someone else. I have been with more than one woman in my life. lol
I'm not talking about the "good" things you mentioned above. I'm talking about things like, moping around and being sad at work when I'm not there. When I'd have a day off I'd go play basketball with my buddies, maybe once a month. Then going to her place to find her crying because I "don't love her" anymore. If I was sitting watching tv and just having one of those days when I don't feel like talking, she'd get depressed becasue something was "bothering me".
Those examples aren't really working. But this ex of mine was exhausting. I truly felt like I had to put a happy face on at all times. It was true co-dependancy. She gave up all her friends and hobbies and did NOTHING without me. Called me from work 10-15 times a day. Everyday. Trust me, it wasn't a good thing.
Quote by Magical_felix
My mistake, I assumed it was your wife cause the question asked about your GF/wife. I wasn't implying you've only been with one woman, I know you're a ladies' man..
Yeah that level of neediness is something else. I find when girls act like that it's cause there is some need that isn't getting fulfilled. It's like they make up for an emptiness in there lives by attention seeking on that level. Unlocking that need can be really tough though.
Quote by lafayettemister
I know you weren't implying I've only been with one woman. Two, tops.
In my marriage, I see the problems. I know what's going on. What I do now is totally by choice. No one is to blame for my situation but myself. I say that so I don't sound like a hypocrite, but there are just as many needy and co-dependant dudes out there too. I see guys out there that are incapably of making any decision on their own. Always seeking approval from their gf/wife. Neediness is not gender specific by any means.