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self control

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hey guys--is it possible for you to spank a girl just for the "warming feeling" and not be mean? guys who understand it get a lot more sex but too many of them can't exercise self control and want to whack the stuffings outta ya. just asking best way to broach it with a new guy....
Just tell them you enjoy spanking all by itself and be clear to them how much you enjoy. Tell them exactly what you enjoy about it and how long you typically want it to last.
Have a safe word. I can control myself, and I only spank if the girl allows me to, otherwise I wouldn't even dare.