Ok guys so I'm a young female who has been in a relationship for 2 years now. We have only been living together a couple months and I have noticed that my man is never up for sex anymore. I have to beg for it and he still will just flat out say no and thats it! But I know that he is masturbating a couple times a week, I am frustrated that he would rather jack off instead of fuck me. I have brought this issue up a couple times and he gets pissed, nothing has changed. He says that he has never really had a huge sex drive and that he just isnt horny very much... but then why jack it all the time. I have tried costumes, chaning things up, nothing seems to get him going anymore. Im starting to feel that its just me... any advice, or insight as to whats possibly going on in his head would be great!!!
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Relatonship Issues...
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Active Ink Slinger
im not a guy, but i say dump him!
Active Ink Slinger
My opinion....he has his mind on someone else. I don't mean to throw another thought into your head, but I've been with someone in the past and lived with them and found myself in an emotional relationship with another person..which drove my desire for the person I was with way down.
Quote by dutyunfolded1
My opinion....he has his mind on someone else. I don't mean to throw another thought into your head, but I've been with someone in the past and lived with them and found myself in an emotional relationship with another person..which drove my desire for the person I was with way down.
That would explain things....
Active Ink Slinger
Yep, time to move on. Doen't mean he's a bad guy or a chump or a loser. Just means, unfortunately, that he isn't into you anymore. I don't mean it to sound harsh. Doesn't mean anything is wrong with you either. Sounds like you're doing whatever it takes. You sound pretty cool to me. You've just drifted apart as a couple. Better to find out now than in 5 years. Part on good terms and find someone who digs you all day every day.
When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates
Active Ink Slinger
Quote by NatiaNuff
Ok guys so I'm a young female who has been in a relationship for 2 years now. We have only been living together a couple months and I have noticed that my man is never up for sex anymore. I have to beg for it and he still will just flat out say no and thats it! But I know that he is masturbating a couple times a week, I am frustrated that he would rather jack off instead of fuck me. I have brought this issue up a couple times and he gets pissed, nothing has changed. He says that he has never really had a huge sex drive and that he just isnt horny very much... but then why jack it all the time. I have tried costumes, chaning things up, nothing seems to get him going anymore. Im starting to feel that its just me... any advice, or insight as to whats possibly going on in his head would be great!!!
Did this start when you moved in together? How was your sex life with him before that? It could be the pressure of the "committment that has him scared if it is a recent change. Or as already said he could be having second thoughts about your relationship. Things can change when you live together. Better you find out now then later on.
Active Ink Slinger
the same thing happened in a relationship of mine, and from my experience, the relationship is over sweetie. sorry
Active Ink Slinger
Just watched a show called strange sex. the subject sounds very much like your situation it was sexual anorexia. the people involved went to therapy and are now having normal relations. hope things get better for you.
Bunker Love
My Dream my latest stopry
My Dream my latest stopry
Active Ink Slinger
Try doing what he's doing. Try masturbating all the time and if you're not up for it, just fake masturbating. Let him clue in that you're masturbating or let him catch you, but when he does. Don't stop just keep going, fake or have a real orgasm with him knowing or seeing you. If he doesn't question you or, gets turn on by you. Than you may have some serious issue. But all you're trying to do is provoke an action or emotion from him. And take it from there.
Hope that helps.
Hope that helps.
Active Ink Slinger
I am having the same problem with my wife. I am hoping she comes out of it. WE HAVE ONLY BEEN MARRIED TWO HALF YEARS
Active Ink Slinger
It's natural to question him. But, don't push too hard. Compassion is the key here.
If he can't be honest with you with what's going on, I may move on just from a trust issue let alone a sexual issue.
If he can't be honest with you with what's going on, I may move on just from a trust issue let alone a sexual issue.
Take a look at your relationship - the non sexual side. It may be a control thing. If you are the main earner, or if it is you making all the decision in your relationship, it may be his way of regaining some control - to with-hold sex.
If not, then its ultimatum time. I hate ultimatums, but it appears sex is important to you, so you will have to give him the ultimatum - sort his head out or you will leave. But from my experience, if you didnt have a problem with sex before you started living together, then the problem isnt sex...its something else.
Just as an aside, lots of people are saying dump him, but Im assuming that if you decided to live together there has to be something there. So with that in mind I think it is worth expending a little effort in trying to find out what the issue is.
If not, then its ultimatum time. I hate ultimatums, but it appears sex is important to you, so you will have to give him the ultimatum - sort his head out or you will leave. But from my experience, if you didnt have a problem with sex before you started living together, then the problem isnt sex...its something else.
Just as an aside, lots of people are saying dump him, but Im assuming that if you decided to live together there has to be something there. So with that in mind I think it is worth expending a little effort in trying to find out what the issue is.
Quote by orion73
Take a look at your relationship - the non sexual side. It may be a control thing. If you are the main earner, or if it is you making all the decision in your relationship, it may be his way of regaining some control - to with-hold sex.
If not, then its ultimatum time. I hate ultimatums, but it appears sex is important to you, so you will have to give him the ultimatum - sort his head out or you will leave. But from my experience, if you didnt have a problem with sex before you started living together, then the problem isnt sex...its something else.
Just as an aside, lots of people are saying dump him, but Im assuming that if you decided to live together there has to be something there. So with that in mind I think it is worth expending a little effort in trying to find out what the issue is.
Yes there is alot there.. he is amazing! I got him to open up and talk to me a little bit last night... this is the longest relationship that he has ever had, and this is the first time that he has ever lived with anyone.. which is all new info to me. He said that it isn't me and that he loves me, that this is all just gonna take him a little time to adjust to. Also something that I didnt' mention in my first post I do have a daughter who is 3 from someone else, so considering that he is 27 and has never been in a long relationship, and never lived with anyone else, let a lone someone with a kid, I can see where he is a little overwhelmed. So things are looking a little better. Just wish I would have know about all of this a little sooner! Did alot of worrying and stressing the last couple months!!!
Quote by NatiaNuff
Yes there is alot there.. he is amazing! I got him to open up and talk to me a little bit last night... this is the longest relationship that he has ever had, and this is the first time that he has ever lived with anyone.. which is all new info to me. He said that it isn't me and that he loves me, that this is all just gonna take him a little time to adjust to. Also something that I didnt' mention in my first post I do have a daughter who is 3 from someone else, so considering that he is 27 and has never been in a long relationship, and never lived with anyone else, let a lone someone with a kid, I can see where he is a little overwhelmed. So things are looking a little better. Just wish I would have know about all of this a little sooner! Did alot of worrying and stressing the last couple months!!!
Great!! A relationship worth having is a relationship that is worth investing some time, as well as a few tears, over. It is difficult living with someone new for the first time, as they are always going to do things slightly different from the way you do. I was told, from a young age, that it all has to do with ground rules and boundaries. Or in other words...compromise. Lifes a bit of a game sometimes, you just have to figure out the rules. But im glad you talked it through and made some progress. Good luck!
Active Ink Slinger
married 17 years
thought it would get better
it gets worse...lack of sex is a deal breaker
so decide if the love is worth the lack of sex
but if he treats you yucky
get out
lots of lovely guys out there who will do BOTH
thought it would get better
it gets worse...lack of sex is a deal breaker
so decide if the love is worth the lack of sex
but if he treats you yucky
get out
lots of lovely guys out there who will do BOTH
Active Ink Slinger
Great advice, Orion73. I tip my hat to you..well said!
Quote by NatiaNuff
Ok guys so I'm a young female who has been in a relationship for 2 years now. We have only been living together a couple months and I have noticed that my man is never up for sex anymore. I have to beg for it and he still will just flat out say no and thats it! But I know that he is masturbating a couple times a week, I am frustrated that he would rather jack off instead of fuck me. I have brought this issue up a couple times and he gets pissed, nothing has changed. He says that he has never really had a huge sex drive and that he just isnt horny very much... but then why jack it all the time. I have tried costumes, chaning things up, nothing seems to get him going anymore. Im starting to feel that its just me... any advice, or insight as to whats possibly going on in his head would be great!!!
It's a bit suspicious that he doesnt want to fuck you at least once a day or even a few times a week and the fact you know he is jacking sounds like he could be seeing someone else.
Quote by Nikki703
Did this start when you moved in together? How was your sex life with him before that? It could be the pressure of the "committment that has him scared if it is a recent change. Or as already said he could be having second thoughts about your relationship. Things can change when you live together. Better you find out now then later on.
I agree with Nikki, its best to find out now than later. It may simply be that he is not ready for commitment. That or the results of that commitment.
I would keep being open and honest, Moving in together is a big step esp when its the 1st time for him. Stress plays a huge factor into sex. If you love him and he loves you then I would just keep trying to move in the direction you want...
If it doesn't change or he doesn't try then its time to reassess your relationship. Relationships are work.
Best of luck
If it doesn't change or he doesn't try then its time to reassess your relationship. Relationships are work.
Best of luck
Advanced Wordsmith
Most obvious thing is; he needs a short break from you. Not breaking up, but to remember what he's missing.
If that doesn't work, try flirting with other guys when you're out with him. See if it arouses his jealousy and his dick at the same time.
If that doesn't work, ask him what's wrong, tell him that this has to get sorted or it's over. Emphasise you don't want it to be over but it will be over if this doesn't get sorted.
If that doesn't work, move out.
If that doesn't work, try flirting with other guys when you're out with him. See if it arouses his jealousy and his dick at the same time.
If that doesn't work, ask him what's wrong, tell him that this has to get sorted or it's over. Emphasise you don't want it to be over but it will be over if this doesn't get sorted.
If that doesn't work, move out.