new girlfriend, the sex addict...?

1 Mar 2013

If a girl you've been dating for 5 months (only having sex the past month) told you she is a sex addict how might you react?

1 Mar 2013

It depends on the context in which she tells me. if she is ashamed...then i handle it with care. if not....well then

1 Mar 2013

I think you might be asking thinking "If she is a sex addict, why did it take us 4 months to have sex? And if we were not having sex, was she having sex with someone else?" ?

Or is it just a general, "How would you deal with a sex addict as a girlfriend"?

I need to know before answering.

1 Mar 2013

We've been dating for 5 months, but only had sex for the last month, and she's a sex addict? How was she satisfying her addiction the first 4 months?

1 Mar 2013

Both I guess...

I wasn't with anyone else, it's not the physical act I crave...

I just don't want him to think I'll cheat, and I need him to know that maybe my needs are different than other girls

1 Mar 2013

Quote by Rembacher
We've been dating for 5 months, but only had sex for the last month, and she's a sex addict? How was she satisfying her addiction the first 4 months?

I don't have to have sex... Something as simple as a sexy glace from a stranger can satisfy somedays. Other days I've come here

1 Mar 2013

Oh ok. Well it does not sound like you ARE a "sex addict" then. It sounds more like you crave stimulation of various types. And frankly that is not that uncommon, and I would bet a lot more normal than you think. I am very much the same way. It is not JUST sex that I crave, but the affects that the very things you mention give. It translates into wanting more sex when in a relationship though, and can cause some problems if the overall stimulation is not met. It is not as simple, IMO as tossing a label of "sex addict" on it all, since while there may be a raised sexual appetite, it is not the only factor and you CAN stay faithful (physically) to your partner. Generally "sex addicts" can not, from what I have seen.

So maybe you should just drop that term all together? Just sit him down and explain your needs to him. But if you even say the words SEX ADDICT once, it is a bell you can't un-ring. And it will be in his mind forever. This is not what I would consider a good or healthy thing.

1 Mar 2013

Okay, I used that label because I have been called that from a previous partner but you are correct. I can stay faithful and prefer to stay that way... I just know that I crave alot of sexual attention. In an unhealthy way that's how I measure love... Working on fixing that but I think he should know about this before we go further.

Thank you!!!

1 Mar 2013

You are most welcome, and I agree. That is a part of who you are that, frankly, is very important and needs to be known up front (well before any real long term commitments). The same if one partner simply does NOT want/require sex very much. You have to be compatible.

1 Mar 2013

Exactly.

I guess that's a better way to say it, just talk about level of desire. In ever relationship I know there is the hunny moon period of being infatuated and lots of physical action. I need that to continue, not be left to take care of myself.

1 Mar 2013

Quote by sungoddess
Exactly.

I guess that's a better way to say it, just talk about level of desire. In ever relationship I know there is the hunny moon period of being infatuated and lots of physical action. I need that to continue, not be left to take care of myself.

I am the same way.

1 Mar 2013

i would hope so......lol ....can i be your new girlfriend ..? 3some

1 Mar 2013

I would LOL at her and then slowly - using little words - explain what a "sex addict" is.

1 Mar 2013

Guess it's a good thing I can laugh at myself also.

1 Mar 2013

It's always a good thing to be able to laugh at oneself now and then. It keeps a realistic perspective smile

2 Mar 2013

Quote by MrLosAngeles
I would LOL at her and then slowly - using little words - explain what a "sex addict" is.

Ouch! That's a bit codescending, surely.

3 Mar 2013

Quote by sungoddess
If a girl you've been dating for 5 months (only having sex the past month) told you she is a sex addict how might you react?

I would fuck her.

3 Mar 2013

Your, not alone in this situation. It takes a very understanding person to open up to like that. The ups and downs of your own needs bewilder you at times, let alone someone you love and care for. Let them know in other ways, as well, that you need and want only them. Keep being honest to yourself, as well, and remember to hope for the best, but plan for a disaster. Just give it your best is all you can do.
Warm wishes for all to work out.

3 Mar 2013

Quote by mrdavid

Ouch! That's a bit condescending, surely.

I'm guessing you've never dealt with actual addicts. You know, gambling, drugs, alcoholics, etc. Addiction is a destructive life-consuming thing. I suspect the person who said they were a "sex addict" isn't REALLY addicted to it.

4 Mar 2013

Quote by MrLosAngeles

I'm guessing you've never dealt with actual addicts. You know, gambling, drugs, alcoholics, etc. Addiction is a destructive life-consuming thing. I suspect the person who said they were a "sex addict" isn't REALLY addicted to it.

What are you basing this on?

5 Mar 2013

enjoy it! what kinda guy are you to question a sex addict? just have sex with her derr

5 Mar 2013

Very possible I used addict, in the wrong way...
I just know from a previous relationship I have a high sex drive, need for sexual attention
If that need is left unattended I will stray, and previously lied about it.

I don't want a repeat of this. I appreciate all response, I'm pretty thick skinned, honest blunt approach is not always bad.

5 Mar 2013

I'm probably repeating some of what has already been stated, but having a strong sex drive and telling your partner that you need frequent attention on all levels will usually be received extremely well and something you should absolutely tell him! You need to ensure compatibility and consequently he needs to know this, and (since he is the object of your desire) he will probably assume that he has something to do with your strong sex drive, which will fuel him further. However, don't be afraid to mention it periodically - guys are pretty simple, but we can fall into certain habits and periods where we are not as attentive - stress at work or whatever can sometimes interrupt all of our best intentions, so be prepared to sometimes just take the initiative and show him just what kind of a dynamo in the sack you really are. If he's worthy, he will respond well!

28 Apr 2013

Talk to him about what your needs are and see if heis willing and capable of fulfilling them.

8 May 2013

Sexual addiction is best described as a progressive intimacy disorder characterized by compulsive sexual thoughts and acts. Like all addictions, its negative impact on the addict and on family members increases as the disorder progresses. Over time, the addict usually has to intensify the addictive behavior to achieve the same results.

For some sex addicts, behavior does not progress beyond compulsive masturbation or the extensive use of pornography or phone or computer sex services. For others, addiction can involve illegal activities such as exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, child molestation or .

Goddess, I take it this is intended as a hypothetical question. So, hypothetically, here's how I'd react.

First, I'd ask what elements of the definition characterize her "addiction?"

Perhaps someone in her immediate family is an accusatory, scare-tactic type who's tagged her with a frightening, but totally unjustified label.

Then again, maybe it's a real problem and she's reaching out for help. In that case, I'd want her to see a qualified professional as soon as possible.

Or perhaps she's just yanking my chain? If I really loved her, I'd try to understand why.

Aren't relationships wonderful?

8 May 2013

As for me, I'd say, "Me, too!"
Then sit down and figure out what is and is not acceptable behavior within the relationship.

Alden Bradley

The zenith of sensuality occurs in sensitivity.
Caring matters more than achieving gratification.