It's a bit like regular sex really, it depends what stage you're at.
If you're just starting out then softly, gently, stroking, including balls and anal area and then when the time is right, go at it with some energy :-)
I have the hardest orgasm when she uses a loose grip on the head of my cock. usually with her thunb underneath nudging as she wanks it.
Me on my back With her kneeling wide legged nude beside me with her boobs swinging above me and her legs and ass placed just right for me to run my hand over them and between her legs. Her whole fist lightly squeezing my shaft as she stroked, and catching the corona ridge of my knob.
A light teasing stroke and sometimes her breasts with my manhood between them
