I'm engaged and my fiance has just started asking me to do new things. i've always wanted to be tied up and teased...maybe get it a little (maybe a lot) rough but it seems like he feels like i'll break if he gets rough with me. He's probably double my size, but i still want him to be rougher with me. how woud i go about leading him into that? Or at least let him know that idea really turns me on.
Well a lot of guys, myself included, were brought up to adore women and to treat them as "fragile" so you may need to break through this psychological barrier. He may also have a fear that while you say you will "like it" in fact he will upset you or hurt you in some way. You might try watching good films such as "Nine and a Half Weeks" or "Secretary" to introduce him to the idea that bondage and role play, fantasy if you have it, is "fun" and hint that you would love to try it. Go step by step and encourage him with positive sexual reinforcement so he knows that you enjoy it and give him hints as to what you find extra special when he is doing it. Personally the biggest orgasms a woman can have usually involve some restraint which prevents them from anticipating or preventing the next thrilling sensation (a blindfold helps also). You could also offer to "exchange" fantasy nights and where you play out a role for him one night and he reciprocates the next time with your fantasy. Good luck darling. It is all a matter of building trust and letting him know he is not in for rejection or hurt feelings. Once he knows it's "okay" I'm sure things will go swimmingly if he's a creative guy.
I think he's just got ideas stuck in his head about what sex should be, up until a few days ago he'd always said shower sex was weird, he wants it all the time now that we have done it, when we first started dating he didn't want me to give him oral because he wouldn't want to kiss me. He's just stuck i think, and we're working through it.......just wish he was already there lol. its not that i don't love the sex we have, its just always turned me on thinking of being controled in the bedroom not in to the whole bdsm lifestyle, but i have my fantasies
i think id just tell him to get the fuck over himself and give it a try. and then id probably call him a pussy.
god im a bitch today..maybe i need a designated poster!
use right words to convince him..
Create a safe-word that you can use if/when you think he's getting 'too rough'. That way he will be more comfortable knowing that he's not hurting or upsetting you and you can push things a little further, especially if you enjoy getting a little fun/feisty or enjoy role-playing a bit of mock protest while he dominates you.
Then, I'd suggest watching a bit of rough-sex porn (you pick the video clips catering to your tastes/preferences) or give him some dirty stories to read so that he understands the level you want to take things to. Guys are pretty good as long as you give them a solid game-plan when you want something new or outside their sexual comfort zone. I'm guessing he's probably going to need to step-up the dirty talk too (as it often goes well with rough sex). Porn might also be useful for giving him an idea of what you like when it comes to that too.
It's all about communication and reassuring him that just because you want to be controlled/dominated in the bedroom doesn't mean it translates to the rest of your relationship... and that we, as girls, are not as fragile as we might seem.
You can also gently lead him into some rougher sex with intensified dirty talk, encouragement, and maybe a bit of playful teasing/taunting to get him to manhandle you in bed and turn up the heat.
I'd like you to elaborate on what "rough" means in your bedroom....That word can mean dramatically different things to different people.
As far as being tied up, get naked (or better yet, lingerie and heels) & do it yourself. You can secure three limbs and leave the last one for him, and then call him into the bedroom....If he doesn't take THAT hint.....well, probably time to reconsider. And if that sight doesn't turn him on, there's something wrong! I'm turned on just thinking about it!
Lol neither of us are 18, and neither of us are or were virgins. We've both had our fair share of partners. As far as the word rough, I'm not sure exactly what my limits are, because not many men have ever gotten rough with me
hit him first!
scratch him, slap him, bite him, scream at him when he's fucking you... show him you're not a fragile little thing.
...when/if he complains... make a face and say: aww... poor little baby, did i hurt you?
You'll have to break him in slow. Once he discovers exactly what you can take without being hurt and just what level you really love then he'll be fine and comfortable with it. I agree he doesn't want to hurt you. You ladies usually do feel fragile to us.
You'll have to break him in slow. Once he discovers exactly what you can take without being hurt and just what level you really love then he'll be fine and comfortable with it. I agree he doesn't want to hurt you. You ladies usually do feel fragile to us.
You'll have to break him in slow. Once he discovers exactly what you can take without being hurt and just what level you really love then he'll be fine and comfortable with it. I agree he doesn't want to hurt you. You ladies usually do feel fragile to us.
As my BF stated above, we chose the communication route to get our points accross. I'm tiny so I have a hard time getting men to be anything but gentle with me. I have a few tactics that help a bit but nothing works as well as your words.
I will often ask "does this feel good?" when doing things to them. Say it enough with a long term partner and it becomes part of their vocabulary.
I'm encouraging when they do something that even slightly resembles what I'm looking for.
I will also dabble in pain with them. Little baby steps to see how they respond.
Tell your partner what you like and want. We have found that honest clear communication is key to a long fulfilling sex life .
Mark and Ann
Talk to him if he still dosn''t then get him under the infulance of some beer and if that dosn't work get a lover or dump him
