Join the best erotica focused adult social network now
Login

Guys is this normal?

last reply
76 replies
10.8k views
0 watchers
0 likes
Mobius_NR
Advanced Wordsmith
0 likes
I'm in the camp with everyone who thinks the issue is depression. One could make points about low sex drive and such but to not bathe etc, screams depression.

Unless...

If your husband is one of those egghead guys who is intensely obsessed with work that it's all he thinks about, that could be an underlying cause. There are scientists whose wives call in to ask scientist's superiors to put them in a cab and send them home because they've been at their desk for days obsessing over some math formula.

Either way, the man needs to spend some time on a psychologist's couch, and perhaps medication.

It might help to drag him out for a weekend away now and again. Many people swear by hotel sex.

Good luck.
CaseyGrae
Advanced Wordsmith
0 likes
-retracting my post after reading the update, I don't think what I had to input is applicable with the new info!
Desertboy2
Advanced Wordsmith
0 likes
I was married for 18 years. After two years, my wife announced she didn't like sex and didn't want to do it anymore. I put up with it and would lay in bed when we went to bed together and masturbate next to her, thinking it might inspire her. It never did. After 18 years I finally had enough and got a divorce. Many asked me how I lasted so long and looking back, I'm not sure. She was a very unhappy person who tried to bring me down to her level of unhappiness and I never played the game. I'm not a big advocate of divorce but eventually you have to take care of #1, you. If he won't go, go to counseling yourself to maintain your mental health. Eventually you need to take care of yourself, whether or not that includes him. Good luck!
Frank
Classified
0 likes
Of all our inventions for mass communication,
pictures still speak the most universally understood language.

Walt Disney
Alexa8497
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
It's been a very long time since I've updated this post...

Thanks everyone for your input and advice. The marriage died off...I left and have now been separated over a year. He has moved back overseas to live with his mum and dad. In Australia you have to wait for 12 months to lodge divorce paperwork so that should come through any day now.

After all the discussions and arguments I decided I deserved better and did not want to spend my life that way. I have met a man who's responsible, supportive, caring, loving and we have a healthy, fulfilling sex life.

The best life decision I've made...I'm a million times happier smile

Alexa xox
AjayP
Advanced Wordsmith
0 likes
Quote by Alexa8497
My husband and I have a great emotional relationship but when it comes to sex, it really falls short. We've been married for three years and we're both mid to late 20's.

We have sex once every three months, if lucky and it's been this way for 2.5 years. I've tried everything a can think of but it seems that he doesn't really like anything (including lingerie, costumes, role plays, sex anywhere but the bedroom, oral sex, toys).

I haven't let myself go, I still go to the trouble of trying to look and feel sexy every day.

He works from home so at times he might not shower for days and he will only brush his teeth if I mention it. Most nights I go to bed on my own. I know he's not depressed cos we've talked about this several times, it seems to have become a cycle.

It's getting pretty difficult keeping it together. I would never cheat on him but it's kind of hard to ignore my sexual needs...when a sexy guy walks by my hormones go crazy.

Any ideas? 


Imagine the same thing with the roles reversed. would that be normal and what advice would you give the man in that scenario? It would be a way to give yourself some advice.
AjayP
Advanced Wordsmith
0 likes
Quote by Alexa8497
It's been a very long time since I've updated this post...

Thanks everyone for your input and advice. The marriage died off...I left and have now been separated over a year. He has moved back overseas to live with his mum and dad. In Australia you have to wait for 12 months to lodge divorce paperwork so that should come through any day now.

After all the discussions and arguments I decided I deserved better and did not want to spend my life that way. I have met a man who's responsible, supportive, caring, loving and we have a healthy, fulfilling sex life.

The best life decision I've made...I'm a million times happier smile

Alexa xox


Sorry I did not read this until after my last post.. Glad to see you made it work in the end.
thewanderer
Rookie Scribe
0 likes
Definitely depression. Or he masturbates all day at work
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
0 likes
Quote by Alexa8497
My husband and I have a great emotional relationship but when it comes to sex, it really falls short. We've been married for three years and we're both mid to late 20's.

We have sex once every three months, if lucky and it's been this way for 2.5 years. I've tried everything a can think of but it seems that he doesn't really like anything (including lingerie, costumes, role plays, sex anywhere but the bedroom, oral sex, toys).

I haven't let myself go, I still go to the trouble of trying to look and feel sexy every day.

He works from home so at times he might not shower for days and he will only brush his teeth if I mention it. Most nights I go to bed on my own. I know he's not depressed cos we've talked about this several times, it seems to have become a cycle.

It's getting pretty difficult keeping it together. I would never cheat on him but it's kind of hard to ignore my sexual needs...when a sexy guy walks by my hormones go crazy.

Any ideas? 
ChuckEPoo
Chuckanator
0 likes
Quote by Alexa8497
My husband and I have a great emotional relationship but when it comes to sex, it really falls short. We've been married for three years and we're both mid to late 20's.

We have sex once every three months, if lucky and it's been this way for 2.5 years. I've tried everything a can think of but it seems that he doesn't really like anything (including lingerie, costumes, role plays, sex anywhere but the bedroom, oral sex, toys).

I haven't let myself go, I still go to the trouble of trying to look and feel sexy every day.

He works from home so at times he might not shower for days and he will only brush his teeth if I mention it. Most nights I go to bed on my own. I know he's not depressed cos we've talked about this several times, it seems to have become a cycle.

It's getting pretty difficult keeping it together. I would never cheat on him but it's kind of hard to ignore my sexual needs...when a sexy guy walks by my hormones go crazy.

Any ideas? 


First of all, my heart goes out to you. That is pretty unusual for being in your twenties. That sounds like the behavior of a couple in their seventies. Your husband needs to see a councilor. The poor hygiene and lack of interest in sex is a sign of withdrawal and depression. I'm assuming this started after you were married. You've got some serious decisions to make. Your whole life is before you. I personally couldn't live a life devoid of intimacy. Sacrifice is mandatory to make any marriage work but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice a lifetime of happiness.
emersonbosworth
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
I think you need a boyfriend, maybe he needs a boyfriend too? Talk to him about sharing another man, see if he'd like to play with another man, might surprise you, Can't figure out a guy who doesn't wants sex. Not normal.idDtntCwjiyRQp9v
Alexa8497
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by ChuckEPoo


First of all, my heart goes out to you. That is pretty unusual for being in your twenties. That sounds like the behavior of a couple in their seventies. Your husband needs to see a councilor. The poor hygiene and lack of interest in sex is a sign of withdrawal and depression. I'm assuming this started after you were married. You've got some serious decisions to make. Your whole life is before you. I personally couldn't live a life devoid of intimacy. Sacrifice is mandatory to make any marriage work but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice a lifetime of happiness.


Thank you. Well after 6 long dreadful years I got out. Was the best decision for me.
Alexa8497
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by emersonbosworth
I think you need a boyfriend, maybe he needs a boyfriend too? Talk to him about sharing another man, see if he'd like to play with another man, might surprise you, Can't figure out a guy who doesn't wants sex. Not normal.vWBS4Oge28l3wtpG


I suggested a threesome with a female, he said no. He wouldnt sleep with a man.

All irrelevant now anyway...he will have to be happy masturbating cos I left him.
_O2_
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Sorry it took so long. I wish my wife would suggest a threesome with a female. I hope you are happy or soon will be.
Alexa8497
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by _O2_
Sorry it took so long. I wish my wife would suggest a threesome with a female. I hope you are happy or soon will be.


Thank you. Yes I have found happiness and a fulfilling sex life. I am happy with my decision
mranonymous7
Active Ink Slinger
0 likes
Quote by Alexa8497
My husband and I have a great emotional relationship but when it comes to sex, it really falls short. We've been married for three years and we're both mid to late 20's.

We have sex once every three months, if lucky and it's been this way for 2.5 years. I've tried everything a can think of but it seems that he doesn't really like anything (including lingerie, costumes, role plays, sex anywhere but the bedroom, oral sex, toys).

I haven't let myself go, I still go to the trouble of trying to look and feel sexy every day.

He works from home so at times he might not shower for days and he will only brush his teeth if I mention it. Most nights I go to bed on my own. I know he's not depressed cos we've talked about this several times, it seems to have become a cycle.

It's getting pretty difficult keeping it together. I would never cheat on him but it's kind of hard to ignore my sexual needs...when a sexy guy walks by my hormones go crazy.

Any ideas? 
...he has a fucking problem...as for the bath thing...I'd lay down the law & require him to bath everyday before you get home...as for the sex...with all the willing guys & girls out there...its YOUR fault you're getting so little...
Guest
Lurker
0 likes
I fucked a woman in this situation. Her guy only wanted a bj once a month or so. Put her in a room and she just exploded! Go get you some!