Rookie Scribe
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Any tricks or advice?? I just cant get there and its rather frustrating and puts me off having sex
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Getting a women to orgasm
Active Ink Slinger
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My partner always cums while I use my tongue on her while rimming her with my finger. Try it :-)
Primus Omnium
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You must explore your own body. Discover the sensitive areas or specific spots. For most they are obvious, like the clitoris, or the G-spot (about one to two inches up and on on the inner part of the vagina.) But some women are quite sensitive in other spots. I can make my wife cum just squeezing her thigh, or calf. Every woman is different. Do it. Touch yourself while thinking of someone who has always turned you on. You will be surprised. And then, pass on this knowledge to your partner.
Active Ink Slinger
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First you need to relax find what feels good and explore it. Don't be afraid to encourage your lover in what feels best to you. Clear your head and enjoy. Men can't always use the same moves on you that worked on the one before.
Lurker
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It all sounds clinical.
What are you trying to achieve? Some kind of records?
Do you know who you are with?
You talk, you joke, drink, you kiss, you touch each other, it is all about feelings, understanding and atmosphere.
Then it becomes so easy. You take your time and you enjoy yourself
Don't rush, take it nice and easy and then well it all depends.....with Tina Turner on the background
What are you trying to achieve? Some kind of records?
Do you know who you are with?
You talk, you joke, drink, you kiss, you touch each other, it is all about feelings, understanding and atmosphere.
Then it becomes so easy. You take your time and you enjoy yourself
Don't rush, take it nice and easy and then well it all depends.....with Tina Turner on the background
Active Ink Slinger
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Well you have definitely come to the right place to get some free advice. Personally I think the orgasm for a woman is much more then physical stimulation. It starts with your mind - intellectual foreplay and getting in the proper mood. Maybe have your current lover read (out loud) some of the stories on here to you.
Active Ink Slinger
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I suggest you first get in tune with your body. Select at time and place where you won't be disturbed and have no where to go. Get yourself relaxed, whether that be a long bath, sauna, etc., then draw the blinds, turn down the lights, strip, and get comfortable. Then s-l-o-w-l-y explore your body and do what feels good finding all your particular erogenous zones. After several sessions, you'll come to understand how your body responds, and what to do to increase your sexual excitation to continue to raise your response levels, eventually to orgasm.
Good luck; let us know how it turns out.
Good luck; let us know how it turns out.
Active Ink Slinger
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So many different ways, but I agree with the others, self exploration is the first step, I can however suggest that you try with your lover on top, sliding his cock slowly over your clit, works for me every time!
...sorry just realised this was ask the guys but if it helps!
...sorry just realised this was ask the guys but if it helps!
Active Ink Slinger
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You have to be tricky and patient not to mention she must first want that herself.
Trying to sound cool. Too much work left.
Lurker
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Don't worry about it ... you are not alone in this orgasmic seeking world of the 21st century. There are many reasons why you fail to orgasm during sex - or even masturbation ... I'll try to highlight a few possibles. Firstly, if you start on the road to sex expecting to climax you are down the road to failure from the word go. It has to evolve from foreplay to penetration to full sex and to whatever ... you and your partner are inter-dependent on each other for sexual results. Men can orgasm virtually at will - we girls need a hell of a lot more.
A famous football club manager here in UK always told his football players before every game: " go out there and just play a good game of football - the goals will come on their own" .. they did and the same is true of sex.
Try and relax before and during intercourse. You're not on Sex Olympics ... hell it's supposed to be fun and the most thrilling thing in your life but while you subscribe to the ideals of porn movies or whatever Lush says is the norm and feel you have to live up to all that crap you are changing all the fun for a challenge.
Finally ... for a girl ... it does help if you are at one with your sexual partner. You need to love the guy and be a part of his soul and being. Men can and will shoot their sperm inside almost any available female ... but we are different.
I've been in the past a very avant-garde type of girl and found no difficulty meeting, having sex with and orgasming to and with a whole host of different guys - but I still understand the feelings of my own sex. Chat to me if you wish and if I can offer further help or advice I'll gladly do so.
A famous football club manager here in UK always told his football players before every game: " go out there and just play a good game of football - the goals will come on their own" .. they did and the same is true of sex.
Try and relax before and during intercourse. You're not on Sex Olympics ... hell it's supposed to be fun and the most thrilling thing in your life but while you subscribe to the ideals of porn movies or whatever Lush says is the norm and feel you have to live up to all that crap you are changing all the fun for a challenge.
Finally ... for a girl ... it does help if you are at one with your sexual partner. You need to love the guy and be a part of his soul and being. Men can and will shoot their sperm inside almost any available female ... but we are different.
I've been in the past a very avant-garde type of girl and found no difficulty meeting, having sex with and orgasming to and with a whole host of different guys - but I still understand the feelings of my own sex. Chat to me if you wish and if I can offer further help or advice I'll gladly do so.
Advanced Wordsmith
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Patience patience patience!! Loosen up, take your time, work the whole body, and build her up. Use all your tools and touch all the right buttons
Active Ink Slinger
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Foreplay and being great at using toys and eating pussy works for me. But still sometimes the lady is over stimulated and cann't, which is fine. There are times believe it or not when a guy doesn't cum.
Active Ink Slinger
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Emily
Start off by not making the big O the goal. Just relax & try to enjoy your experience solo or with a partner.
Try a few different things that don't creep you out & learn what you respond to.
Use this to refine your skills & you should get closer & closer...
Clear communication with a partner will stop them from guessing.
Try a responsible amount of alcohol...
Keep practicing...
-Its vague but I know you not.
Good Luck
Start off by not making the big O the goal. Just relax & try to enjoy your experience solo or with a partner.
Try a few different things that don't creep you out & learn what you respond to.
Use this to refine your skills & you should get closer & closer...
Clear communication with a partner will stop them from guessing.
Try a responsible amount of alcohol...
Keep practicing...
-Its vague but I know you not.
Good Luck
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by emzy3492
Any tricks or advice?? I just cant get there and its rather frustrating and puts me off having sex
just relax and ask him to take his time and not to hurry... try very gentle touchs for a long period of time..
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
― Helen Keller
― Helen Keller
Active Ink Slinger
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Quote by emzy3492
Any tricks or advice?? I just cant get there and its rather frustrating and puts me off having sex
just relax and ask him to take his time and not to hurry... try very gentle touchs for a long period of time..
“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
― Helen Keller
― Helen Keller
Lurker
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I would suggests playing together. Watch each other climax; transition into helping each other play, and maybe trying out a few new toys. There are a few message techniques that can help as well. Find that G-spot together and have lots of fun with it!! 
Detention Seeker
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Emzy It's not you that needs the advice but your partner all you need to do is relax and enjoy never hold back your true emotions and you will soon hit that wonderful high.
Lurker
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Quote by emzy3492
Any tricks or advice?? I just cant get there and its rather frustrating and puts me off having sex
Some women cannot orgasm. Every person is different. If she doesn't orgasm it could be because she cannot. Just try to work with what you have.
Active Ink Slinger
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There's never a simple answer to that question. As people we all like different things, I suppose it's keep trying till you find the thing that really pushes your buttons. Good luck
Active Ink Slinger
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The two girl friends I've had always had their first climax with in 45 minutes, so if you can find a way to keep from getting off and just out last them... ;p
Active Ink Slinger
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There is one trick that the ladies need to do. You have to explore your own body and figure out what you need/like. If you don't know how to make yourself orgasm no guy will ever figure it out. Half of it is in your mind so you need to be relaxed and open to whatever happens. Placing too much pressure on achieving an orgasm can prevent you from getting there. Most of the fun is in the trip. Relax, enjoy the foreplay or intercourse and forget about it. Exploring your bodies and being open and relaxed are key. Of course all that being said I'm a girl who can orgasm without penetration and once by only reading a story a friend wrote for me.
'There are other worlds than these.'
Active Ink Slinger
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What is your up bringing. Some folks male and female are taught that it is wrong! Be comfortable with masturbation! Nothing wrong with it!
Active Ink Slinger
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please free your mind of the guilt of not being able to orgasm!
relax, feel the pleasure that you are getting, be it from a tickle, a cuck, and rim, or what ever else your partner is doing
go with the flow
do not worry about not orgasming, and as you relax and flow, it will happen.
love and hugs (virtual)
relax, feel the pleasure that you are getting, be it from a tickle, a cuck, and rim, or what ever else your partner is doing
go with the flow
do not worry about not orgasming, and as you relax and flow, it will happen.
love and hugs (virtual)
Active Ink Slinger
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I agree, you can't put so much pressure on yourself to have an orgasm.
With that being said, I find the easiest way to give my wife an orgasm is licking her clit while using my fingers insider her with the "come hither" motion.
Past girlfriend, I didn't even need to use my fingers. She could also orgasm a few times during sex.
With that being said, I find the easiest way to give my wife an orgasm is licking her clit while using my fingers insider her with the "come hither" motion.
Past girlfriend, I didn't even need to use my fingers. She could also orgasm a few times during sex.
Lurker
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Every woman is different, you just have to experiment
High School GF - she got off on everything
College GF - I could give her small ones just by sucking/nibbling her nipples - bigger ones needed my tongue between her legs - fingers or intercourse, nada
Wife - needs direct stimulation by my hand right THERE - nothing else works
High School GF - she got off on everything
College GF - I could give her small ones just by sucking/nibbling her nipples - bigger ones needed my tongue between her legs - fingers or intercourse, nada
Wife - needs direct stimulation by my hand right THERE - nothing else works
Rookie Scribe
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There is a few facters first stress if your stressed its harder for your body to let you have the joy of the orgasm second about 97% of the orgasm is based on your emotional standing with your partner what i mean by this is its harder to get a woman to cum if she has no feelings of her partner if its just physical attraction her body (heart) isnt in it as much so the guy has to work twice as hard that being said alot of guys are lazy or just out to get theirs not trying as hard to get you to your point of orgasm
Lurker
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Wow, you have already gotten great advice.
If you are with a partner, the partner is so important to the process. My wife actually coached me early in our marriage - she knew what she needed, and what she didn't need.
If you are already having some fun, just not orgasm, you are on the right track. If you have never had an orgasm, you don't really know what you are looking for, so when it does come it will be a surprise.
Trial and Error -
Alcohol - sometimes it helps - sometimes not. For my wife and I in middle age, alcohol is not helpful. We get too relaxed.
Porn - sometimes it helps, - sometimes not. If you just don't like the stuff, or find it "fakey", you'll probably not be stimulated. However, there are great women orgasm compilations at free internet porn sites that show women masturbating and being obviously successful at finding orgasm. If I am watching porn for my stimulation, I want to see the woman having a good time - otherwise its worthless for me.
Your value system (already implied in Porn above) could be an issue. If you believe that certain forms of stimulation are wrong, no amount of coaxing by your partner in those methods will likely get you over the top.
External stimulation could be working against you -
TV shows or movies or songs you like to sing going on in the background can easily pull you away from your love making.
Are you aware of your body rising through different levels of stimulation? Are you aware of guides that focus on better lovemaking? Books and movies are out there including Joy of Sex and the Better Health(?) film series.
Internal stimulation could be working against you - bad day at work, worried about a friend/family member, finances got you down, relationship messed up or confused - any of these and more can have you on edge unable to relax into the love making experience.
I could keep writing - No, I'm not a sex therapist, LOL, but I did help my wife over the years to go from erratic single orgasms during our love making to being multi-orgasmic with some regularity. Of course, this was a two way street - she told me what she did and didn't like - I learned from her and gave back more of what she desired even as I coaxed her to higher levels of sexual stimulation and intimacy.
Fun writing this reply.
Best,
Steve
If you are with a partner, the partner is so important to the process. My wife actually coached me early in our marriage - she knew what she needed, and what she didn't need.
If you are already having some fun, just not orgasm, you are on the right track. If you have never had an orgasm, you don't really know what you are looking for, so when it does come it will be a surprise.
Trial and Error -
Alcohol - sometimes it helps - sometimes not. For my wife and I in middle age, alcohol is not helpful. We get too relaxed.
Porn - sometimes it helps, - sometimes not. If you just don't like the stuff, or find it "fakey", you'll probably not be stimulated. However, there are great women orgasm compilations at free internet porn sites that show women masturbating and being obviously successful at finding orgasm. If I am watching porn for my stimulation, I want to see the woman having a good time - otherwise its worthless for me.
Your value system (already implied in Porn above) could be an issue. If you believe that certain forms of stimulation are wrong, no amount of coaxing by your partner in those methods will likely get you over the top.
External stimulation could be working against you -
TV shows or movies or songs you like to sing going on in the background can easily pull you away from your love making.
Are you aware of your body rising through different levels of stimulation? Are you aware of guides that focus on better lovemaking? Books and movies are out there including Joy of Sex and the Better Health(?) film series.
Internal stimulation could be working against you - bad day at work, worried about a friend/family member, finances got you down, relationship messed up or confused - any of these and more can have you on edge unable to relax into the love making experience.
I could keep writing - No, I'm not a sex therapist, LOL, but I did help my wife over the years to go from erratic single orgasms during our love making to being multi-orgasmic with some regularity. Of course, this was a two way street - she told me what she did and didn't like - I learned from her and gave back more of what she desired even as I coaxed her to higher levels of sexual stimulation and intimacy.
Fun writing this reply.
Best,
Steve