Thanks in advance for answering.
Here's my question/situation:
I have been having a flirtation with someone online for a few months. Started out as nothing and we got feelings. This is how it was: no one is leaving spouses, no one is in love but there are feelings. That is how we agreed it was.
Anyway, i have noticed that he doesnt email me much anymore and when he does its a laundry list of excuses of why. If I run into him on the site where we met its an active convo. I dont go much on there and I noticed that he doesnt go on there when I am on there or when he knows I can be. I notice he is on there late at night now.
I asked if there was someone else because if there is, then its fine . we are done and its over im ok with that. But he swears there is no one just the wife. im not convinced.
I sent him a dirty email. no response. i sent him an email about us getting on google hangout to chat no response. its done right?
do i just let it go and say nothing or email him a im walking away have a nice life?
I get it its an online thing but how can i tell whats really going on or will i never?
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gentlemen, your advice please.
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I've never been in that situation before, but if I had, I think I'd just not email him anymore. If you meant anything to him at all, he'll get curious as to why he isn't hearing from you and write. If he doesn't write, it's likely best to assume his interest has waned for some reason, possibly his wife finding out about it. If he's not communicating with you, you don't owe him any courtesies like a good-bye post.
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Quote by LavenderGarden
Thanks in advance for answering.
Here's my question/situation:
I have been having a flirtation with someone online for a few months. Started out as nothing and we got feelings. This is how it was: no one is leaving spouses, no one is in love but there are feelings. That is how we agreed it was.
Anyway, i have noticed that he doesnt email me much anymore and when he does its a laundry list of excuses of why. If I run into him on the site where we met its an active convo. I dont go much on there and I noticed that he doesnt go on there when I am on there or when he knows I can be. I notice he is on there late at night now.
I asked if there was someone else because if there is, then its fine . we are done and its over im ok with that. But he swears there is no one just the wife. im not convinced.
I sent him a dirty email. no response. i sent him an email about us getting on google hangout to chat no response. its done right?
do i just let it go and say nothing or email him a im walking away have a nice life?
I get it its an online thing but how can i tell whats really going on or will i never?
This sounds like one for Dr Ruth!
First off you said it started as a flirtation on line then developed to feelings. Ok so flirtatious fantasy has now developed to wanting it to become more real. You also mention spouses, they are flesh and blood real, not to mention kids. Let me give you one possibility, because there are many, he realised he was developing feelings for somebody he hadn't even met, he felt it might threaten his domestic relationship so decided to stop it, he still has feelings for you so makes excuses for avoiding you. This is only one possible reason, there are many others. The one thing that struck me was he made excuses for avoiding you, it sounds like he has feelings but can't or won't cross his line. If you have feelings for him, give him some respect, don't ever be nasty to him. It just degrades the previous relationship.
Ok now I've got to go and lie down, that was way too much work for this old brain! "Gin and tonic please waiter" Lol
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When there is nothiing to be said the best thing to say is nothing.The balls in his court now
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Quote by Willy6941
I've never been in that situation before, but if I had, I think I'd just not email him anymore. If you meant anything to him at all, he'll get curious as to why he isn't hearing from you and write. If he doesn't write, it's likely best to assume his interest has waned for some reason, possibly his wife finding out about it. If he's not communicating with you, you don't owe him any courtesies like a good-bye post.
Agreed
SHEEP!
Devil's Advocate
dpw wrote:
"Let me give you one possibility, he realised he was developing feelings for somebody he hadn't even met, he felt it might threaten his domestic relationship so decided to stop it, he still has feelings for you so makes excuses for avoiding you. It sounds like he has feelings but can't or won't cross his line. If you have feelings for him, give him some respect, don't ever be nasty to him. It just degrades the previous relationship."
Very wise words, and an excellent way to approach it regardless of the possible reason.
I think the lesson to take from all this is to not let yourself get carried away with the fantasy. Flirt, sure, it's great fun. But draw your line in the sand and don't cross it. It's just not worth it if you have the real thing at home, no matter how appealing it seems.
Good luck
"Let me give you one possibility, he realised he was developing feelings for somebody he hadn't even met, he felt it might threaten his domestic relationship so decided to stop it, he still has feelings for you so makes excuses for avoiding you. It sounds like he has feelings but can't or won't cross his line. If you have feelings for him, give him some respect, don't ever be nasty to him. It just degrades the previous relationship."
Very wise words, and an excellent way to approach it regardless of the possible reason.
I think the lesson to take from all this is to not let yourself get carried away with the fantasy. Flirt, sure, it's great fun. But draw your line in the sand and don't cross it. It's just not worth it if you have the real thing at home, no matter how appealing it seems.
Good luck
My latest story is a racy little piece about what happens when someone cute from work invites you over to watch Netflix and Chill.
Active Ink Slinger
I agree with what has been said. But I also have to say that you could be over-analyzing the situation. I tend to do that sometimes with people I have feelings for. I start to see patterns that could be there but turn out to be totally misinterpreted. From your writing it also looks like you've been testing your theory as to why he contacts you less. In my experience this can lead to only looking for answers to your hypothesis instead of looking for the actual reason.
Still from the looks of it.. Stop contacting him for a while. Be nice when he contacts you but don't push communication. You'll find out!
Expect the worse(in this case) and everything can only get better!
Good luck!
Still from the looks of it.. Stop contacting him for a while. Be nice when he contacts you but don't push communication. You'll find out!
Expect the worse(in this case) and everything can only get better!
Good luck!
Active Ink Slinger
LavenderGarden you did right by asking the Forum and there's some great advice for you here, and good advice for other online users as well. I hope you are ok now.
Active Ink Slinger
I'd forget him. There's lots more guys who like chating or having a talk about sex or what have you. Don't worry about it. It was probably to much for him and he wasn't ready for fucking and sucking. Hang in there Sun Shine!
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Sounds like he got bored or is maybe just to stressed in everyday life. Personally if he wants to talk he will if not he won't. Maybe he is just super busy or he doesn't seeing it going anywhere and wants more. This is my opinion and if I were you I wouldn't bother. If he is going to talk to you again he will, but if you pester him he might be gone forever.
Advanced Wordsmith
It's pretty clear he's cooled off. It's one to let go. Good luck.
Thanks guys!
I do believe you all gave me good advice.
i am so glad to get so many different perspectives of and see how many different viewpoints there are to one situation. From asking you guys I have now considered possibilities that i hadnt before. But i am standng my ground and just letting it go even if it does, i hate to admit, hurt a little.
Im ok so its not anything im going to lose sleepover.
I do believe you all gave me good advice.
i am so glad to get so many different perspectives of and see how many different viewpoints there are to one situation. From asking you guys I have now considered possibilities that i hadnt before. But i am standng my ground and just letting it go even if it does, i hate to admit, hurt a little.
Im ok so its not anything im going to lose sleepover.
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I think it's done. He is on that site to play and doesn't want things going any further, but he also wants to hold you in reserve in case he wants to play again.
Quote by martb40
I think it's done. He is on that site to play and doesn't want things going any further, but he also wants to hold you in reserve in case he wants to play again.
which is what my friend said to me. that he is holding on because he might want to come back. i know its done.
which i went on to play calmly today and he found me and was kinda bothered i unfriended him. im just done with excuses and i think the world would be better if we just were open and honest.
i think we all know if you want it you make time for it.
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Perhaps he's had to change his habits due to his wife becoming suspicious and he doesn't know how to tell you to cool it for a while cause he's pussy whipped.
I'm ashamed to say that describes me perfectly.
I'm ashamed to say that describes me perfectly.
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Quote by billybyobb
Perhaps he's had to change his habits due to his wife becoming suspicious and he doesn't know how to tell you to cool it for a while cause he's pussy whipped.
I'm ashamed to say that describes me perfectly.
If you don't mind me asking, how did you find this? The last post was nearly two years ago!