I have done the inevitable and have actually met a guy that is all talk and no action. I am completely baffled, this in my eyes in common behaviour with women, but a guy??? I must be missing something. There has been opportunities to have sex and other things we talk about wanting to do, which don't come often considering I'm married and he always backs out. He is single so it's not another woman issue.... It is a complete confidence destroyer and makes me feel like complete shit ughhhh! I guess I'm wondering what might make a guy be like this, have any of you guys pretended to be really interested in a woman then cancel every time you make plans? Probably a really difficult question to answer but any insight would be awesome, just so I know I'm not losing my mind.....
Thanks in advance guy <3<3
More than likely, the guy might enjoy the fantasy of actually flirting with a married woman, but when it comes right down to it, he doesn't want to be "the other guy" in reality.
If you were single, he'd probably have mounted you a long time ago. That's just my .
I could probably "talk the talk", but no.....I'd never actually sleep with a married woman personally.
More than likely, the guy might enjoy the fantasy of actually flirting with a married woman, but when it comes right down to it, he doesn't want to be "the other guy" in reality.
If you were single, he'd probably have mounted you a long time ago. That's just my .
I could probably "talk the talk", but no.....I'd never actually sleep with a married woman personally.
We have been together in the past when I was and wasn't married... And he has been with other married women, it's kind of his thing. I'm pretty sure I couldn't scare him ha ha... Thanks for the response.
Quote by clum I think you're being a little sexist. Guys can have all the same hang-ups and sexual insecurities that women do.
We get nervous, anxious, and self-conscious. Some things are easy to say, but when it comes down to it, it can be terrifying for some guys.
I would imagine your attitude to the situation doesn't help him much. Cut the guy some slack.
I would've never considered myself "sexist" and take a small offence to that. If he wasn't egotistical and he had a shy personality this would have been a totally different question about how to get him out of his shell ... I am extremely kind hearted and love men! He is the epitome of a nasty trash talking manwhore and I LOVE it, but when it comes down to doing the deed he's a no show. I've been cutting him "slack" for a VERY long time. I should've been more specific in my original post and maybe change met to know... I've known him for 7 years but have only been back in contact for the last year.... I didn't think I was coming off snub or with an attitude at all, I try to put my best foot forward and be extremely friendly with everyone. I really hope I didn't seem that way
Then the question is, is he still that same person? Marriage woman skirt chaser and all that jazz?
Hell, how long ago is "past?" Maybe he enjoys talking the talk, but no longer doing the deed. Maybe he actually developed feelings for you outside of the occasional roll in the hay.
Clearly you've been coming on strong for quite some time now. Your only option it to either give up or point blank ask him if he's interested.
Quote by MadMartigan Then the question is, is he still that same person? Marriage woman skirt chaser and all that jazz?
Hell, how long ago is "past?" Maybe he enjoys talking the talk, but no longer doing the deed. Maybe he actually developed feelings for you outside of the occasional roll in the hay.
Clearly you've been coming on strong for quite some time now. Your only option it to either give up or point blank ask him if he's interested.
7 years ago and then last Nov and Jan.... I think maybe you're right about the enjoying talking about it but not actually doing it. The feelings aspect is 100% a NO he makes that very clear, it has been discussed. I can probably come on strong sometime i'll totally admit that, I have a very high sex drive! I've given up a few times and have cut ties and he comes back every time. I have a weakness for him and let him back every time... Starting to think he just likes to feel he has control over my emotions
1.) As stated before, he may like the idea of flirting with a married woman. Maybe knowing that he CAN fuck you if he wanted to is enough for him, but he has apprehensions about actually sleeping with a married woman.
2.) You said you guys have been friends for a while. Perhaps he doesn't want to cross that line.
3.) Maybe he's really not that interested, but enjoys feeding your ego (people do that sometimes).
4.) Perhaps he's the fuck and move on type. Guys who are satisfied just playing the field don't like to feel obligated to stick around in any capacity. And maybe he senses that you would want him to stick around, even if it's just like a fuck buddy situation.
5.) Some guys like the thrill of the chase, and having sex thrown at them is off-putting for them. So if he's the womanizer that you claim he is, let him feel like he's 'womanizing' you. If you come off as desperate, he's gonna pull back. Try playing hard to get and see if he comes around.
Quote by jessicaheart696 I have done the inevitable and have actually met a guy that is all talk and no action. I am completely baffled, this in my eyes in common behaviour with women
That did come off as a little sexist, by the way. I was offended for like a millisecond.
Well if you have known him a long time, have been with him in the past, and you know he used to like getting with married women, I would say you need to pin him down. Ask him if he keeps canceling because you are married. Since you were out of touch maybe that changed for him. If the problem is not your being married, ask what the problem is since there obviously is one. Tell him its time to put up or shut up if he says there is not a problem or be prepared to walk away.
Quote by slipperywhenwet2012 It could be a number of things.
1.) As stated before, he may like the idea of flirting with a married woman. Maybe knowing that he CAN fuck you if he wanted to is enough for him, but he has apprehensions about actually sleeping with a married woman.
2.) You said you guys have been friends for a while. Perhaps he doesn't want to cross that line.
3.) Maybe he's really not that interested, but enjoys feeding your ego (people do that sometimes).
4.) Perhaps he's the fuck and move on type. Guys who are satisfied just playing the field don't like to feel obligated to stick around in any capacity. And maybe he senses that you would want him to stick around, even if it's just like a fuck buddy situation.
5.) Some guys like the thrill of the chase, and having sex thrown at them is off-putting for them. So if he's the womanizer that you claim he is, let him feel like he's 'womanizing' you. If you come off as desperate, he's gonna pull back. Try playing hard to get and see if he comes around.
That did come off as a little sexist, by the way. I was offended for like a millisecond.
I didn't mean it to come off as sexist but reading it back it definitely sounds that way *face palm* in my experience it isn't uncommon for women to act like this, far more uncommon for a man though. Your response was exactly what I was looking for, thank you. I guess I have a lot to think about.
It's probably not a guy or girl thing; we are all people and have various reasons to back out. On the other hand, I can see guys typically jumping at the opportunity, so I see where you are coming from.
That being said, I was stood up by a girl who was after me for a while... The only thing you can do is move on and try again.
Is it possible that he is feeling guilty (as you're still married) when the actuality arises, maybe he only ever intended it to be a fantasy and is scared of getting involved in what could be a messy situation?
Something else to add. Not knowing what happened 7 yrs ago when you guys split up, but he could have fallen for you and doesn't want to get hurt again. Talking to you now may fill a void but that's as far as he's prepared to go.
Well I see this (and I read all the responses and thought through this carefully) . . . I hope this doesn't offend.
But if he really likes you: he might not want to be your fall-back guy. . . the 2nd helping . . . the afterthought . . . the underhanded pleasure . . . the dog under the table begging for scraps.
I was the 2nd hand in a relationship and it made me feel like shit about myself - I was good enough to fuck but not good enough to BE with? I really loathed myself for being in that position . . . it was quick and fun when feelings were in the way.
Quick and fun is quick and fun
A 7+ year potential relationship being put on the burner because you're married is a whole other story - that is not quick and that is not fun.
Decide what you want - talk to him about what he wants - talk to your husband, too . . . maybe it's time to reassess your marriage?
Seems to me like no one in your neck of the woods is happy at all. Maybe if you talk to people about things you can work it all out for the better?
Maybe he has other things on his mind: like not wanting to wreck your marriage if you have no intention of divorcing? Having kids - maybe he doesn't want to ruin things for them? Maybe the idea is frightening and he doesn't want to get his ass beat? (That's what one of my exes did . . . put a guy in the hospital when he *thought* I was sleeping around - and I wasn't)
A lot comes with it when feelings - strong, deep feelings - surface.
There are no secrets in my marriage the husband knows about him, he reads our conversations and takes part in the pictures/videos we exchange etc... Threesomes are open on the table also. There is definitely no reassessing of the marriage needed, we've never been more in love than we are right now. Our life and family are just perfect, besides this little hiccup. I talked to him, he says it's all just bad timing, not sure if I believe that but I'll take it for now. If things don't change, moving on will be the best option, I'm done investing time and everything else it takes to see him or not see him. Just doesn't make sense I am 100% sure there is nothing emotional from his ended and yet when I've moved on in the past he was upset and jealous... Ughhh
Dear Jessica,
Don't worry about it, I live the "Hotwife" lifestlye, (one sided swinging, my husband stays home). I get literally hundreds of proposals from guys wanting to go out, about HALF of therm are pure BS when it comes time to put up or shut up. They are either wankers , frightened, or just plain scared.
Of course, there are also those who will meet you and rock your world...
Don't take it personally, it's the guys who are losing out by not meeting you.
Bobbi jo
"When its too kinky for everybody else, its just gettin' good for me."
(Kinky Freedman)
Quote by jessicaheart696 There are no secrets in my marriage the husband knows about him, he reads our conversations and takes part in the pictures/videos we exchange etc... Threesomes are open on the table also. There is definitely no reassessing of the marriage needed, we've never been more in love than we are right now. Our life and family are just perfect, besides this little hiccup. I talked to him, he says it's all just bad timing, not sure if I believe that but I'll take it for now. If things don't change, moving on will be the best option, I'm done investing time and everything else it takes to see him or not see him. Just doesn't make sense I am 100% sure there is nothing emotional from his ended and yet when I've moved on in the past he was upset and jealous... Ughhh
I think you just answered your own question. His emotions are probably involved and he doesn't want to share you with your husband or other men.
I think you just answered your own question. His emotions are probably involved and he doesn't want to share you with your husband or other men.
But he acts like it's a fantasy of his and that he REALLY wants to see/be involved with the two of us(me and the hubs)... I have such a hard time thinking it could be a front.
I think you just answered your own question. His emotions are probably involved and he doesn't want to share you with your husband or other men.
But he acts like it's a fantasy of his and that he REALLY wants to see/be involved with the two of us(me and the hubs)... I have such a hard time thinking it could be a front.
There could be many reasons for this. First thing I think of is maybe he is just a plain old fashioned good guy down deep, and respects the fact you are married. The second thing that comes to mind is the possibility of some self-confidence problems. Neither of these two possibilities have anything to do with you as a person.
It could be that he enjoys the intellectual stimulation that comes with flirting but doesn't want to take it to a physical level (for whatever reason). It's kinda like a dog barking at trucks driving down the street; he doesn't really want to catch one but loves making the chase.
I can’t think of a good tagline so this will have to do. Suggest a better one for me?
<3<3 
. 
I talked to him, he says it's all just bad timing, not sure if I believe that but I'll take it for now. If things don't change, moving on will be the best option, I'm done investing time and everything else it takes to see him or not see him. Just doesn't make sense I am 100% sure there is nothing emotional from his ended and yet when I've moved on in the past he was upset and jealous... Ughhh
