What's the worst chat up line you've ever heard?

10 Mar 2013

I'll start smile

I'm a Love Pirate, and I'm here for your booty! ARRRGGGHHH!!!

Sword Fight

@Lizerotica

10 Mar 2013

What are you wearing?
d'oh!

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”
― Oscar Wilde

10 Mar 2013

This should be interesting

10 Mar 2013

"have you ever .... ?"

"when was your last orgasm?"

coffee

10 Mar 2013

Have you ever......... Embarassed

10 Mar 2013

I had to share this one I heard a guy ask a girl if she wanted sex when she said no he asked her to lay on the floor while he did.

11 Mar 2013

"how about it"

sheez , how about introducing yourself first..

11 Mar 2013

My wife will not give me any pussy even though i have a yacht, corporate jet and 40,362 head of cattle on 17,000 acres of land. I'm also a war hero and have 6 tattoos to match my 12 missing teeth. Will you come to my town and check in at the "Bedbug and Taco Motel?' I promise I will reemburse you. "Cross my heart and pray to Johnny Cash, Grandpa Jones and Tex Ritter. "

11 Mar 2013

I love to write but have writers block. That is why I can't write. Yes, I know it's beem three years since I joined Lush but I have been busy collecting broads. If you talk naughty to me I promise that I will copy and paste a story, maybe stick and lick you. if you will add me.

11 Mar 2013

You can't possibly be as old as your profile says you are. Women that age don't have sexual desires.

11 Mar 2013

Want to fuck.

11 Mar 2013

yeah definately when was your last orgasm? or want to fuck?

11 Mar 2013

Quote by suezq
You can't possibly be as old as your profile says you are. Women that age don't have sexual desires.

I get that a lot, and also implying that i should be all wrinkly old prune by now

11 Mar 2013

Quote by foxjack
Want to fuck.

Or the expanded version, one look at you made me hard, want to fuck?

11 Mar 2013

another classic: come to the (whatever) web site (which will, of course, load 1,000 viruses on your laptop and steal your personal information) and i will turn you on by having you watch me jacking off (oh yeah, watching you, BIG turn on!)

11 Mar 2013

I wish I would get a line like Lizzy's post from guys on this site. It's a lot better than "wanna fuck?" Shows a glimmer of personality.

13 Mar 2013

"hey baby".... oh yea piss me off will you, oh yea just can't wait to talk with you

14 Mar 2013

You horny? Look at my profile pics and tell me if you like. How wet does it get? You like girls? Wanna be my sub? What you look like? You like older cock? Hey sexy, wanna pvt? Any pics? What you wearing? It's a bit crowded in here (in a room where only like 3 people are actually chatting) and I'd like to get to know you better...wanna private? Show me your tits. You wet?

Sadly enough, these are all the FIRST things ever said to me by a plethora of random strangers.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░

14 Mar 2013

Without even an introduction she sent a PM saying: "You're a DOM, aren't you? I could tell. I like to be beaten really hard with a whip or a stick."

14 Mar 2013

"Lets play carnival, you sit on my face and I'll see if I can guess your weight".....

14 Mar 2013

Quote by robbiedee1
"Lets play carnival, you sit on my face and I'll see if I can guess your weight".....

HA! That's awful. A complete stranger once pointed at me and said, "You there! Come sit on my face!"

14 Mar 2013

A couple of classics.....

14 Mar 2013

So none of the above are any good ???

Damn that's where I have been going wrong .....oh well back to the drawing board...sigh

14 Mar 2013

HT, I think you really need to go back to college for the amount of help you need on this subject..

14 Mar 2013

It was at college that I learnt them all ...no wonder it has been downhill since then

14 Mar 2013

Is your pussy bald?

14 Mar 2013

My friend in college successfully used this line;
"That's a lovely arse, shame you have to shit out of it".
The bastard dated her for ages. And it really was a lovely arse.

14 Mar 2013

"so, ive heard a mans mind is in his dick, so why dont you go ahead and blow my mind;)" i was like wtf!

14 Mar 2013

Also, "Does this smell like chloroform to you?"

14 Mar 2013

Hey