My wife will not give me any pussy even though i have a yacht, corporate jet and 40,362 head of cattle on 17,000 acres of land. I'm also a war hero and have 6 tattoos to match my 12 missing teeth. Will you come to my town and check in at the "Bedbug and Taco Motel?' I promise I will reemburse you. "Cross my heart and pray to Johnny Cash, Grandpa Jones and Tex Ritter. "
I love to write but have writers block. That is why I can't write. Yes, I know it's beem three years since I joined Lush but I have been busy collecting broads. If you talk naughty to me I promise that I will copy and paste a story, maybe stick and lick you. if you will add me.
another classic: come to the (whatever) web site (which will, of course, load 1,000 viruses on your laptop and steal your personal information) and i will turn you on by having you watch me jacking off (oh yeah, watching you, BIG turn on!)
You horny? Look at my profile pics and tell me if you like. How wet does it get? You like girls? Wanna be my sub? What you look like? You like older cock? Hey sexy, wanna pvt? Any pics? What you wearing? It's a bit crowded in here (in a room where only like 3 people are actually chatting) and I'd like to get to know you better...wanna private? Show me your tits. You wet?
Sadly enough, these are all the FIRST things ever said to me by a plethora of random strangers.
My friend in college successfully used this line;
"That's a lovely arse, shame you have to shit out of it".
The bastard dated her for ages. And it really was a lovely arse.
