Great question! The problem is, though, that as soon as some particular trait of a guy becomes an attractor for me, it becomes sexy. And I don't mean sexy as in "let's go someplace and fuck or make love...". No. To me, sexy is "I like you so much I want to be with you. I'm making a choice to be with you and not anyone else".
Lots of guys have traits I admire, but sometimes a particular trait or mannerism inspires me to want to keep getting to know this person more and more.
Its a voracious thing, liking someone. You meet, and pretty quickly decide (whether or not you realize it) that you accept or reject allowing this guy any further into your personal space. Lots of men we know in business and school and the rest of the real world fall into this category - we have met them, assessed them and decided that a friendly but arms-length distance is as close as they get, while some enjoin us to reject and repel any approach from - any distance is too close.
The guys we like, though, have something we're attracted to. The way they look at us, the way they listen and engage in conversation and share ideas, share vulnerabilities, share dreams, share privilege -- all these things are attractors, at least for me. And attractors keep drawing me in, closer and closer, getting to know the person until some limit is reached. That limit is the fork in the road of friendship - for guys, one branch takes you to a place of physical intimacy with me (zone 1), sex, love, being a fuck-buddy, whatever. Another branch puts you in the "friend zone", a place guys apparently do not like, especially if they wanted to sleep with me. Actually, though, guys in my "friend zone" will enjoy a life-long deep friendship with me if they want. There are some pretty high barriers to entering the "friend zone" - and those are the attractors of trust, respect, admiration, etc. I admit that for several of my "friend zone" male friends, my pussy sometimes moistens when we get together, but I know (from my experience of being a girl in a male friend's "friend zone" - I turned a wonderful friendship physical and ruined it) that there is no zone jumping. A third branch is the one taken by very few, and I have not been on it and no one has been on mine yet. It is the one that is taken by your life partner - husband, wife, whatever you want to call it. Those people have and deserve a special status. They are where they are because of their commitment to you, combined with trust, love, sex, and everything else. Being unique in your life, they get unique treatment - they get 100% of you.
For me, guys in zone 1 get friendship and sex, and a relationship that may or may not ever really go anywhere.
Guys in zone 2 will have me as a friend, companion, confidante, sounding board, safe harbor - whatever - forever, if they want. There just won't be much (or any) physical intimacy involved.
My zone 3 is currently empty - I do not have a husband or a life companion, yet. And I'm not looking for one, although I do know that one might wander into my life at any time.