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What is your experience with affairs?
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Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
I was a mistress (not the bdsm kind) for 3.5 years ....... although there were great moments, essentially it's time one has wasted. Once those years are gone, they are gone. I could have, perhaps, met someone who was available and developed a long term relationship. Instead ... 3.5 years later .... or even 10 years later ... I have nothing.
I would not recommend it to anyone, unless it's just sex. If there are any emotions that develop ...... well, someone is gonna get fucked, and it's not pretty.
I would not recommend it to anyone, unless it's just sex. If there are any emotions that develop ...... well, someone is gonna get fucked, and it's not pretty.
I didn't have an 'affair', I almost had a one-nighter with a married man, his wife was out of town for the weekend. I walked into their living room and there were family photos of him with his wife and children, and many of just his children. I asked him to call me a taxi and I walked out of there. I couldn't do it. I imagined if I were her..... and I didn't want to do that to another woman.
Quote by trinket
I'm curious to know why you would say that?
Hi Trinket
I guess for the same reason you walked out of that guys house when you saw pictures of his wife and kids. I feel if you are in a committed relationship you should honor that relationship or get divorced. Or at least separated. If I was married I would want to know that my husband wasn't trying to have sex with other women unless it was agreed that we would have that type of relationship. Reading what the OP said, I don't think he had that type of relationship with his wife. If in fact that was the case though, I would tell him to go for it.
Quote by lisad83
Hi Trinket
I guess for the same reason you walked out of that guys house when you saw pictures of his wife and kids. I feel if you are in a committed relationship you should honor that relationship or get divorced. Or at least separated. If I was married I would want to know that my husband wasn't trying to have sex with other women unless it was agreed that we would have that type of relationship. Reading what the OP said, I don't think he had that type of relationship with his wife. If in fact that was the case though, I would tell him to go for it.
Thank you... it was what I thought
Active Ink Slinger
Everyone has different reason for having an affair I was in a loveless marrage. I would work 2 or 3 jobs when I came home I had to fix my own meals after I left she would feed the kids ( she didn't work) When I got home from my next job the sink was full of dishes. The good news is when we had are affair we found Love and after being together for 10 years married for 8 we are still very much in love.
I take it that the difference between an affair and extramarital sex or swinging is that the two people involved fall in love, and so it becomes about much more than sex. This kind of relationship is the real marriage breaker since the party having the affair wants to spend all their time with their lover to the exclusion of their spouse. This can happen when the guilty party still loves their spouse, it is just that their feeling fro their lover are much more intense, and the sex is therefore much more exciting. A particularly vulnerable time for men is when the children are still young and the wife's attention is focussed on them more than her husband. My advice is, only indulge in extra marital sex if your marriage is very strong, and preferably wait until the children have left home when you will have much m,ore freedom to experiment.
Thanks for the responses so far. You know, I have been married for many years, the children are out on their own, the love in the relationship is strong. But, the what if...that's the reason for the post in the first place. I don't think I'm looking for an affair or a quickie - this doesn't seem to be the type of website that would facilitate those kinds of extracurricular activities. I just wonder, how it has been for others? I am thankful for my faithful wife and the intimacy that we share.
Active Ink Slinger
Affairs are definitely out of the question for me. A relationship, in my opinion, is love between two people and should be treasured. Adding in extras just makes things messy and hurts people beyond repair sometimes.
Advanced Wordsmith
Quote by lisad83
I'm glad I'm not married to you.
Glad you said that Lisa... couldnt agree more...what gets my wick is the deciet.. I agree with your answer to trinket... if a man thinks he is stuck in a bad marriage .. a loveless one ... not necessorily sex less.. marriage then do the decent thing and separate ... then go and sow your wild oats.. for all any one cares... but deception is despicable..I think... and i am a man...and have NEVER ever decieved any one ... but have been decieved tho... and i am not proud either for being so gullable.... but then we all learn...
Quote by drillsarge2
Have you had an affair with a married man? Was it something you would do again? How much are you willing to share? As one who has never had an affair in a lot of years of marriage, but has often considered it, I wonder...
My experience: no matter what happened, no matter how long ago it was, who did what, who didn't do what, you mention a former partner of yours, or you fooled around, while online - and people flip the hell out and jump to all sorts of conclusions.
Which is ridiculous considering the high number of people who claim to have cheated / had an affair.
Raised on Blackroot
They piss me off honestly and I have low opinions of those that engage in them. Whether they are the one doing the cheating or the one being the "other person."
Maybe it is because I can relate to people too well and understand the emotions behind them, but...
I can't understand how someone could willingly be the "other woman" or "man". Especially where children are involved. That's the epitome of selfish sleazery. You may not give a shit for the SO, but fucking around with the lives of children...That's low. Real low. And more than likely, the person who's using you as the other woman/man, is just using you as a fuck toy to get their jollies off. I mean, you'd never wanna engage seriously in a relationship with someone like that. They're liable to cheat on you as well if you do.
And god's sake, grow some GD balls (both men and women who "cheat"). If you're in a crappy relationship, man/woman up about it. I guess I can't understand trying something that isn't working. Don't be a bitch and lie about it.
I'm sensitive about these things though I guess.
Maybe it is because I can relate to people too well and understand the emotions behind them, but...
I can't understand how someone could willingly be the "other woman" or "man". Especially where children are involved. That's the epitome of selfish sleazery. You may not give a shit for the SO, but fucking around with the lives of children...That's low. Real low. And more than likely, the person who's using you as the other woman/man, is just using you as a fuck toy to get their jollies off. I mean, you'd never wanna engage seriously in a relationship with someone like that. They're liable to cheat on you as well if you do.
And god's sake, grow some GD balls (both men and women who "cheat"). If you're in a crappy relationship, man/woman up about it. I guess I can't understand trying something that isn't working. Don't be a bitch and lie about it.
I'm sensitive about these things though I guess.
Quote by trinket
I didn't have an 'affair', I almost had a one-nighter with a married man, his wife was out of town for the weekend. I walked into their living room and there were family photos of him with his wife and children, and many of just his children. I asked him to call me a taxi and I walked out of there. I couldn't do it. I imagined if I were her..... and I didn't want to do that to another woman.
I wanted to add that I did not know he was married until I walked into his living room and saw the photos of his family. If I had known he was married, I would never have considered it.
Quote by trinket
I wanted to add that I did not know he was married until I walked into his living room and saw the photos of his family. If I had known he was married, I would never have considered it.
SecretGem, Psychiee, NadMartigan, Lisad83, Trinket...you all are my hero's. Cheating, whether yer involved in a sexless marriage or an emotionally void marriage, or whatever your justification for cheating...it is betrayal of the most hurtful kind. Doing the responsible thing FIRST...and then doing whatever you gotta do is the right and proper way. Hey...if ya'all said "I do...for richer or poorer" and all that...doesn't it mean something? It's your word on the line. Or have we gone so far into a McDonalds-like disposable society, an "I do for as long as I shall dig it (smacks gum loudly) and then we will do whatever we want" type of society?
Trinket is my super special hero. That was character in action. Way to go girl.
Active Ink Slinger
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
Active Ink Slinger
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
Active Ink Slinger
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
Active Ink Slinger
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
Quote by Kristind
SecretGem, Psychiee, NadMartigan, Lisad83, Trinket...you all are my hero's. Cheating, whether yer involved in a sexless marriage or an emotionally void marriage, or whatever your justification for cheating...it is betrayal of the most hurtful kind. Doing the responsible thing FIRST...and then doing whatever you gotta is the right and proper way. Hey...ya'all said "I do...for richer or poorer" and all that. It's word on the line.
Trinket is my super special hero. That was character in action. Way to go girl.
isn't that nice!! How I love the judgmental tone.
now, just to clarify something ..... when I was involved with a married man ..... I was single. The person cheating was him. I have never cheated on MY partner, but I am sure you don't give a shit on that angle.
Quote by apainter
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
Ok, you said it, now could you please tell me how these things describe WHY someone has an affair? Some of them sound like excuses to me, but please, explain away.... ESPECIALLY 'children' and 'loyalty', and just how does an erotic website qualify as 'an affair'?
Children
Pain
Love
Sex,
Devotion
Pleasure
Loyalty
Friendship
Desire
Hope
Lust
Loneliness
Quote by PersonalAssistant
isn't that nice!! How I love the judgmental tone.
now, just to clarify something ..... when I was involved with a married man ..... I was single. The person cheating was him. I have never cheated on MY partner, but I am sure you don't give a shit on that angle.
wow...I'm not passing judgement on you PA. I am applauding those who agree that making a vow with another person actually means something. Betrayal is one of the most hurtful feelings anyone will ever have to deal with. Even you said you wouldn't recommend it...and you weren't the one cheated on.
Constant Gardener
Quote by PersonalAssistant
isn't that nice!! How I love the judgmental tone.
now, just to clarify something ..... when I was involved with a married man ..... I was single. The person cheating was him. I have never cheated on MY partner, but I am sure you don't give a shit on that angle.
Meh, don't let the sanctimonious get to ya, PA. I've walked a coupla miles in your moccasins too. They haven't...or they've been cheated on and were duped and are thus - pissed at themselves for being duped.
I've been cheated on, and I've cheated on women. I've fucked married women who were cheating on their marriage vows cuz they weren't getting any dick at home, or their husbands were out fucking around on them or their husbands or boyfriends decided drinking kegs of beer and growing an extra four chins was more important than ..
You get my drift.
Don't want to get cheated on? Don't be a fucktard to your significant other.
If you don't like that answer...
Then fuck off, it's the truth and that shit hurts worse than anything else, doesn't it?
The same GQP demanding we move on from January 6th, 2021 is still doing audits of the November 3rd, 2020 election.
Active Ink Slinger
whew. too hot for me in here.
Quote by apainter
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.
I would appreciate if you would explain to me how these words describe WHY someone has an affair? Especially 'loyalty' and how an erotic literature site is a "type of affair"? I'm just curious is all and I want to make it clear I'm not judging anyone here btw. None of us know the life circumstances of others or have the right to tell others how to live their lives.
I was sure I posted this earlier in the thread, if a mod is removing my posts, could you please let me know why so I don't repost the same thing?