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What is your experience with affairs?

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VanGogh
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
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Quote by Kristind


I gave a kudo to a few peeps who said that haven't/wouldn't/couldn't cheat. You, all by yourself, took that, lets call it a 'tip of the hat', as a personal negative judgement of you. Which is not at all what my intention was. Then, it turned into this. Which, again, PA, was not my intention. However, life is choices. You mention the drinking and driving context, which you must admit was directed straight at me since I'm the one who said it. The context of the drinking and driving mention was an analogy. An analogy of how we live by our choices. No one can justify drunk driving. It is a bad choice. Well, by your own admittance, PA, when it comes to "being the other woman" let me quote you...

... That is the tough part about an emotional sexual affair with a married man, for me. For that reason alone, I won't repeat my mistake.

If it's a mistake...it must be the wrong thing to do. Not a good choice. If it feels wrong...it is wrong. By your own admittance.


Kristind .... what would you like those who have admitted their wrong doing to do??? My god, you act like a fucking untamed pitbull. Not very attractive.

I said from the VERY BEGINNING, I do NOT advise it. What did YOU not understand about that???

Quote by PersonalAssistant
I was a mistress (not the bdsm kind) for 3.5 years ....... although there were great moments, essentially it's time one has wasted. Once those years are gone, they are gone. I could have, perhaps, met someone who was available and developed a long term relationship. Instead ... 3.5 years later .... or even 10 years later ... I have nothing.

I would not recommend it to anyone, unless it's just sex. If there are any emotions that develop ...... well, someone is gonna get fucked, and it's not pretty.


For fucksakes, girl .... grow up. People are tired of your condescending tone. This is a sex site with many factors of sexuality and adult content ... and some silly parts too .... maybe hang out in a thread that doesn't bother you so much. Just saying.
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Quote by PersonalAssistant


For fucksakes, girl .... grow up. People are tired of your condescending tone. This is a sex site with many factors of sexuality and adult content ... and some silly parts too .... maybe hang out in a thread that doesn't bother you so much. Just saying.


Pitbull? Seriously? I walked away from this conversation and come back to find you're still whining about something I said.

As far as the rest of it...backatcha PA. For fucksakes what was condescending about simply giving kudo's to peeps who said they couldn't or wouldn't cheat. That was it!! Again, for the umpteenth time, it wasn't a judgement of you until you turned it into a judgment of you. You came whining about the judgmental (unintentional) tone of my kudo's. Explain to me what for fucksakes is wrong with that!! You took something I said and twisted it into something it was never meant to be. Why is it that you are so damn almighty that you can have your position but when I stand up for what I believe it is suddenly...judgmental. Fact is, I never put you down in any way shape or form. If you believe there is nothing wrong with how you live your life...FINE! Live it! Grow some thicker skin and live it!! But to conjure an attitude about me and then whine and cry that..."boo-hoo she's being judgmental"...is quite frankly psychobabble, woman.

Grow some thicker skin and deal with it and then drop it.

Furthermore. I don't give a shit if people are sick of my "condescending tone". Yeah...we're on a sex site...IN THE THINK TANK OF THAT SEX SITE. If I can't give kudo's without you becoming judgmental and condescending...maybe you are the one that should hang out in the threads that don't bother you so much.

Oh...GO SEAHAWKS!
VanGogh
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
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Quote by Kristind

Yeah...we're on a sex site...IN THE THINK TANK OF THAT SEX SITE. If I can't give kudo's without you becoming judgmental and condescending...maybe you are the one that should hang out in the threads that don't bother you so much.


The Think Tank??? Thought this was Ask the Gals (checks) .... yup the Ask the Gals Thread.
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This is my initial response to you thinking I was passing judgement on you.

wow...I'm not passing judgement on you PA. I am applauding those who agree that making a vow with another person actually means something. Betrayal is one of the most hurtful feelings anyone will ever have to deal with. Even you said you wouldn't recommend it...and you weren't the one cheated on.

Not condescending in the least in the least, is it? No, I didn't think so either. In fact what I tried to get across to you was my surprise that you took it that way.

Quote by PersonalAssistant


The Think Tank??? Thought this was Ask the Gals (checks) .... yup the Ask the Gals Thread.


Okay...if this point makes that much of a difference to you, PA...then on that note, I yield. Now...do ya feel better winning at...something?

Oh, excuse me. That might sound a bit...condescending.

But i hold firmly to GO SEAHAWKS!
SereneProdigy
Cryptic Vigilante
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Girls, just a kindly reminder to...




WOAH! Hey, please calm dow...





OUCH! Stop it already!






OKAY... I'm out of here!
LustOrLush
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I haven't had what I would call an "affair" with a married men, but I have slept with 3 married men. These were purely just sex...I never viewed them as relationships/boyfriends or anything with potential. One was a one night stand with a man who was in town on business. The other two were men I would just see every once in a while.

They were great experiences for me because they were all at times in my life when I wasn't looking for a relationship because I was too preoccupied with work and other things. It was a great way to fill my sexual needs while not taking my focus off of other parts of my life.

For the record, I didn't chase or pursue any of these men. Two I met online, and the third I met out one evening and there was just an instant mutual attraction. In all cases, the sex was fantastic...part of it may have been the whole forbidden fruit thing.

Out of curiosity, I asked two of them why they cheated. Both spoke very highly of their wives...claimed to love them. One said that after you are together for so long, you just want somebody new once in a while for excitement. The other said his wife is preoccupied with kids, etc. and they don't have sex as often as he would like.

I think it is just human nature. Most people in long term relationships eventually cheat...if not physically, then definitely mentally.
Icarus32
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None, and I hope I never get any from either perspective,
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Quote by SereneProdigy
Girls, just a kindly reminder to...




WOAH! Hey, please calm dow...





OUCH! Stop it already!






OKAY... I'm out of here!


hahahah I wanted to answer the op's question than saw all that and decided to rather have a laugh. Thanks for this post!
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Quote by Deumea
It was an affair with my neighbor that finally set me free from my asshole husband. It wasn't right, but it was right for me at the time.
Since becoming single, I don't ask the men I'm with if they're married, and I discourage them from wanting to tell me.


Thanks, Deumea, for an honest, straight up answer that gets at the heart of the original post.
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Quote by LustOrLush
I haven't had what I would call an "affair" with a married men, but I have slept with 3 married men. These were purely just sex...I never viewed them as relationships/boyfriends or anything with potential. One was a one night stand with a man who was in town on business. The other two were men I would just see every once in a while.

They were great experiences for me because they were all at times in my life when I wasn't looking for a relationship because I was too preoccupied with work and other things. It was a great way to fill my sexual needs while not taking my focus off of other parts of my life.

For the record, I didn't chase or pursue any of these men. Two I met online, and the third I met out one evening and there was just an instant mutual attraction. In all cases, the sex was fantastic...part of it may have been the whole forbidden fruit thing.

Out of curiosity, I asked two of them why they cheated. Both spoke very highly of their wives...claimed to love them. One said that after you are together for so long, you just want somebody new once in a while for excitement. The other said his wife is preoccupied with kids, etc. and they don't have sex as often as he would like.

I think it is just human nature. Most people in long term relationships eventually cheat...if not physically, then definitely mentally.


Thanks, again, another response that gets at the heart of the post.
redhot363236
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Some people thrive on the rush, but for most women, jumping into an affair is hard. Usually it's when things become either too boring or too unbearable at home that things happen. I once sent one of my most trusted friends out of my life rather than face up to the feelings that were growing between us. I was trying to keep it from becoming an affair, but to this day, I wonder if I did the right thing ….

He was probably the only one I would have seriously thought about leaving my husband for; but sending my closest friend and advisor (who was going through a lot of the same crap I was at the time) away made life that more unbearable for both us. My first sexual adventure (more of a one time fling with a friend than an affair) happened about six months later …

It was good, but not with the person I really wished for. < sigh > That was 15 years ago, and I still wonder if we weren’t brought together at that particular place and time for a reason … The “New Life” series explores my fantasies about what might happen if we did get together again

I have a lot of fantasies, and Lush gives me an outlet to explore them without the guilt of an affair. That, and I love teasing the guys ;)
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Quote by apainter
All your responses seem very black or white, where are all the shades of grey that define us as human?. Pain love sex devotion pleasure loyalty children friendship desire hope, lust loneliness ect ect all these adjectives describe why someone "has an affair" whatever that patriarchal term is intended to imply. Isn't this website a"type of äffair" in and of itself.


I believe it is just that for people who are married or have some kind of freely entered mutual commitment happening concomitantly. It violates one's word. I am saying this as a matter of definition.
VanGogh
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Quote by trinket
I didn't have an 'affair', I almost had a one-nighter with a married man, his wife was out of town for the weekend. I walked into their living room and there were family photos of him with his wife and children, and many of just his children. I asked him to call me a taxi and I walked out of there. I couldn't do it. I imagined if I were her..... and I didn't want to do that to another woman.


wow .... I guess you've changed your philosophy since this post ....

Married men are now fair game for you? (oh I know, you and your man reflect your relationship now, but I know, your man's relationship originally stated, "married")

See??? It all depends on who you meet!!

Cheers!!
KatR
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Even though most end badly, they have been well worth it for me. I have been married 3 times but my three best lovers were all affairs outside of my marriages, and I am still seeing one of those 3. You have to be willing to experience the down side and see that the upside outweighs the negative.
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Quote by trinket
I didn't have an 'affair', I almost had a one-nighter with a married man, his wife was out of town for the weekend. I walked into their living room and there were family photos of him with his wife and children, and many of just his children. I asked him to call me a taxi and I walked out of there. I couldn't do it. I imagined if I were her..... and I didn't want to do that to another woman.

Quote by trinket


I wanted to add that I did not know he was married until I walked into his living room and saw the photos of his family. If I had known he was married, I would never have considered it.

Quote by PersonalAssistant


wow .... I guess you've changed your philosophy since this post ....

Married men are now fair game for you? (oh I know, you and your man reflect your relationship now, but I know, your man's relationship originally stated, "married")

See??? It all depends on who you meet!!

Cheers!!




Crap, just had to come and edit this post because It looked like i was talking about someone else which i wasn't., so....... Take 2.

Somebody open up an old wound for you? Be careful what you say because to this day I've never had an affair with a married man. My 'man'? you don't know me, you know nothing about me. Someone who doesn't know anything about me shouldn't go sticking their nose into my business. if someone is going to quote me on a post and challenge it, they should really get their facts right before they do. Someone who has admitted they had a long affair with a married man herself wouldn't be trying to judge anyone else on this thread would they?
Dani
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Friendly reminder: Personal disputes, no matter how hilarious, have no place in the forums...per forum guidelines.

Please do not use these forums for personal disputes, heated debates, flame wars etc. You are expected to treat each other with respect in the forums and take any personal disputes to a private mode of discussion off the forums. If you should find that your discussion is becoming too heated or someone is becoming far too passionate about their argument, please take the discussion to private message or email.

░P░U░S░S░Y░ ░I░N░ ░B░I░O░
Magical_felix
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Quote by trinket



Crap, just had to come and edit this post because It looked like i was talking about someone else which i wasn't., so....... Take 2.

Somebody open up an old wound for you? Be careful what you say because to this day I've never had an affair with a married man. My 'man'? you don't know me, you know nothing about me. Someone who doesn't know anything about me shouldn't go sticking their nose into my business. if someone is going to quote me on a post and challenge it, they should really get their facts right before they do. Someone who has admitted they had a long affair with a married man herself wouldn't be trying to judge anyone else on this thread would they?


I had my status as married when you said you wanted to meet up and put that to the test, just sayin.
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Quote by Magical_felix


I had my status as married when you said you wanted to meet up and put that to the test, just sayin.


Me want to meet up with you? Obviously that's a lie
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The last affair I went to had funny clowns
VanGogh
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Quote by adagio_sabadicus
The last affair I went to had funny clowns


VanGogh
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ooops .... damn clown button made a double post! lol
pegasus2126
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Have had a number of affairs. Mainly due to the lack of sex at home. Had one with a lady 17 years younger than me. It was 7 months of good sex. The only woman that I have been with that wanted anal sex. On the downside her desire for oral sex was not as high as mine. Yes she liked oral but not really into 69 ing.

We used to fuck for hours and I managed to go a lot longer before cumming with her than any other woman that I had sex with
NYMM500
Advanced Wordsmith
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I have had three long term relationships (hate the word affairs) all were amazing.
and all ended mutually
lindseyaggie
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The first time I fucked a married man was not my fault. A gf tied me up then let a married guy do me. I've had a couple of one night stands with guys I didn't know we're married until later. The only other married guys I've done is the guys in my office but it's just sex ... Not an affair.
sweetaz
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I've not had a physical affair as such after all these decades. I don't have the time and more than likely I would be oblivious to your existence.

HOWEVER ... I have an affair (with my mind) every time I come onto Lush. If I were to follow this up I have the means and determination to do so. You would have to tick all the boxes for that to eventuate ... how competitive am I? VERY!

Alas there's no one
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do casual fucks with either sex count as an affair?? then I ve had a few
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Oooops...I apologize. Doesn't need to be said.
VanGogh
Sarcastic Coffee Aficionado
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Quote by Kristind
Oooops...I apologize. Doesn't need to be said.


well, I saw what you originally posted. sigh ... but thank you for your apology.

I thought my post was quite cheerful .... kinda like "welcome to the team/club" ....

and to be PERFECTLY clear - I am NOT guilty about my affair with a married man whilst I was single. I am, at least, an honest person. I think for some, they can and will, never cross a line, regardless of their marital status. Some of us, get sucked in .... and as I said originally ..... being a side dish for a married man, who has a main course with his wife, it's a sad predicament.

For some, I may be a loser for having had an affair with a married man, but .... I am in good company considering all the others who have done/are doing, similar.

Of course .... my comments are just my own opinion, and yours are yours. I am not trying to sway you to understand my opinion. Like many other threads here on Lush, perhaps someone walks away with .... "I never thought of it like that." And, perhaps, we all learn a little compassion for those without the same values or morals.

Blessings.
rushman1uk
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Quote by HayleyHollyGrace
I've had an affair with a married woman


Same here smile lol

My first love, was many years ago. She was my neighbour & our 'affair' lasted nearly 5 years. I then got married & was faithfull till 2011. I now meet my Scotish lady once a month. Last year i met a lady who i hadn't seen since primary school. We ended up in bed twice :)
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Hello. I'm Holly and was told by the welcoming lady to visit the forums and introduce myself. I picked this at random because it looked interesting.

No, I have never had an affair with a married man that I know of. Married men are off limits in my book. A vow is a vow. Simple.