I am in a committed closed relationship, I have been caught looking plenty and I often tell my wife I'm sure she does it too... And I'm not stupid enough to think she doesn't have alone time where I am not the one being thought of... My question is are women hypocritical on this matter or are they generally telling the truth and it's us guys?
Everyone fantasizes and looks - just don't be doing it in such a blatant way that it's obvious to your partner when you're with them. Master the art of discretion. Wear some dark shades to hide where your eyes are going. Be subtle about it. Look but then don't fixate on the same girl over and over again. I think when people get pissed off about their significant other getting caught 'looking' it's because it has the potential to feel disrespectful when your girl is standing there right next to you and you're making it really obvious. It can make them feel inferior and if the object-of-ogling recognizes it, it can also feel embarrassing. I tend to feel sorry for the female when her man is constantly staring and she's just standing there quietly, looking insecure and frustrated. It's like his wife/GF becomes 'invisible'. If you keep it discreet, no harm done. And if you're on a guy's night or she's not with you, then you don't have to worry about keeping things in check (visually, anyway). But yeah, we all look and fantasize - it's just how you do it if you have a partner that's sensitive to it.
My partner and I look together. A good rule of thumb to go by is: you can look but can't touch.
If you're in a committed relationship and looking at other women upsets your wife, stop doing it. Your 'defence' of 'I'm sure she does it too' indicates that you've never caught her looking at other people. Perhaps she doesn't. You need to talk to her about it.
A friend of mine who happily watches hardcore porn with her boyfriend would claw his eyes out if she caught him looking at a girl in the street. She says it 'upsets' her as it seems more real, whereas porn is just fantasy.
I always point out hot chicks to the hubby I think he will like or that I like so that is a non issue with us.
Bunny12
Bunny Rabbits cute and fuzzy they want to love you but they have razor sharp teeth - don't piss them off! I may be in the minority, or people may not believe me when I say this, but, I really don't even look. I guess that having grown up visually impaired (uncorrected, I can't even see the big E on the eye chart), I learned to see and recognize people differently than the average person does. I don't see faces, I see the way they talk, the way they walk or stand, the sound of their voice....as young adult, I started wearing corrective lenses, but I still go with my old way of identifying people...
I have been in a relationship with a guy who did "look" and he would get a faraway look in his eyes, his voice would trail off mid-sentence....it was very insulting to me when he did that....People notice.
When you are out with your wife, no one else should exist except her.
