There are different levels of jealousy that guys can demonstrate.
* Maybe you're standing at the bar with friends and you end up talking to a guy (just having a conversation) and your man comes up and possessively puts an arm around you and introduces himself.
* Maybe he likes to check up on you when you're out with the girls with little text messages or curfew reminders.
* Maybe he warns other guys that you're "his woman" and to stay away from you or not get any ideas.
* Maybe he doesn't think you should be wearing revealing outfits when you're not out with him.
* Maybe he gets overly inquisitive when you mention a guy-friend of yours, and doesn't like the idea that you have guy friends in general.
* Maybe he gets unnerved at the idea of you flirting with other men.
Are some of these acceptable or desirable traits to you?
Some women say they hate jealous/possessive guys whereas other girls are a little miffed when a guy doesn't seem to be bothered by it. do you secretly like the idea of a bit of a jealous guy because it makes you feel like he cares more or is acting like an alpha-male showing the world that you are 'taken'?
Is there a level of jealousy you enjoy or do you demand that a guy be secure/confident and not demonstrate any kind of territorial behaviour. And if he does - how do you handle it?
**EDIT: Guys, you can answer this Q too from the perspective of 'jealous girls'. Do you like it on some level?
GOOD question Doll...I hope you'll let a GUY respond to this on the GALS board...
Have you answered these questions from your own viewpoint...ie...I'm standing at the bar talking with some gal (just having a conversation) and you come up and possessively put an arm around my waist and introduce yourself. WHY did you do that? Are you jealous? I think the answer may/maynot be a question of jealousy. I am more prone to do that (arm around you waist) to (1)...get your attention in such a way as to (2) not interrupt the actual ebb/flow of the conversation....kinda/sorta just letting you know I'm "here" and not over/out "there".
I don't text...If you are truly "my woman", I wouldn't/shouldn"t have anything to be concerned with anyway.
Your "revealing outfits"...vs...my "speedo".....I don't really think we will go there!!
Please define "flirting"...I know that I "flirt" with women...even married women in front of their husbands. My "flirt" is NEVER anything that I would be ashamed of and often is done to cheer up the lady or get a smile or actually be a means of saying "I appreciate the job you are doing". For me...Flirting is a non-sexual thing!!
Rick...older than dirt
My partner is super cool. He doesn't get jealous very often. I don't think I could deal with a territorial man, though I do like it when he takes pride in other men checking me out.
I seem to be pretty much in agreement with what you've said above, Doll:
'I admit I like some occasional low-grade "playful" jealousy, I wouldn't want it on any level that would inhibit my ability to talk to or be friends with other men or wear what I want. When it's a serious jealousy issue that leads to insecure/neanderthal behaviour, then it's not cool'
I've been with guys that won't show jealousy (or perhaps just don't feel jealous) ever, to me that's disconcerting. I like to feel wanted and protected...but at the same time I want to feel trusted. If I mention a male friend I'm close to I like a few questions that enable him to work out there's no threat a lot more than I just like an 'alright, cool' kind of response.
Maybe you're standing at the bar with friends and you end up talking to a guy (just having a conversation) and your man comes up and possessively puts an arm around you and introduces himself
^^ That's my ideal man, right there. And (I think!) I've found that man in my current boyfriend. He'll gently ask about male friends, look just that tiny bit hurt/jealous when I accidentally let slip a 'oft, he's hot!' whilst watching tv (yes...I'm that kind of girl) and will keep an eye a very easy going, not too fussed eye, that is, on me in group situations.
To summarise... I don't want rules, I don't want glaring eyes or fist fights... I want to know that he doesn't want another guy touching me, that he trusts me to not put myself in situations where that would or could happen...and to know that he's watching out for me, as his girl, when we're out and about.
Actually for myself I love all of your suggestions of levels of jealousy from a partner...I am a submissive, so I love things that others might deem unreasonable possession...besides I suppose with a Dom/Daddy it it rather less about jealousy than ownership which I will give freely to the right man/woman.
I like a guy to be aware of me and other guys and maybe enough to get a tiny bit jealous but not so far as to come over and interfere when im innocently chatting to a friend.
That gets very annoying very quickly, and though he may not trust other guys to leave me alone, I like to think that he can trust me enough not to do anything with them.
sometimes when guys are jealous its cute and makes everything alittle hot. like if your at a club and some guy is hitting on you and your man gets a little jealous but of course he knows nothing is going to happen. and your man steps in to show that your his. i love that it makes me feel special to be his girl
but then you get those over obnoxious jealous guys that over-think everything. that if your out with friends he might text you 100 times thinking that your cheating or get mad and just flip shit. or just get so jealous and just pick fights for no reason. those jealous guys are just relationship ruiners. no matter how wonderful or amazing they are, they probably aren't worth it.
i like jealous guy #1 hehe
[quote\]
* Maybe you're standing at the bar with friends and you end up talking to a guy (just having a conversation) and your man comes up and possessively puts an arm around you and introduces himself.
Some variation of this has happened before, and I like it. He's never gone the next step of making a big production out of it (which can border on psycho), but yes, I do like knowing that my man is watching out for me, and is willing to serve notice if he thinks it's necessary.
[quote\]* Maybe he likes to check up on you when you're out with the girls with little text messages or curfew reminders.
I'd probably prefer this sometimes. I get the opposite: a boyfriend who won't answer MY texts LOL
[quote\]* Maybe he warns other guys that you're "his woman" and to stay away from you or not get any ideas.
Now this one sounds psycho, unless you've already been hit on inappropriately, and it's become an issue.
[quote\]* Maybe he doesn't think you should be wearing revealing outfits when you're not out with him.
I'm proud to be with a guy who prouder of my body than I am. I could never date a fashion prude.
[quote\]* Maybe he gets overly inquisitive when you mention a guy-friend of yours, and doesn't like the idea that you have guy friends in general.
This one's a tougher one. If I say that it's wrong for a guy to act differently when we have a male friend makes me a hypocrite for getting extra-curious about any of his female friends. Granted, I settle down a bit once I know who they are, meet them, etc. An ideal guy does the same, but he'd be a fool not to at least idly wonder, at least once, if this 'guy friend' is going to try to make a move, or fantasize, about their girlfriend, right?
[quote\]* Maybe he gets unnerved at the idea of you flirting with other men. This one he has mixed feelings about, and so do I. On every one of these, I try to mentally turn the tables and wonder how I would react in his shoes. I think the problem is that I'm slightly (just ever so...) more jealous than I'd like to be, and so I identify with more of that from men than many girls would. If I saw my guy flirting openly with another woman, I would not be a happy girlfriend LOL. On the other hand, if he's being a sly dog and I know he's going nowhere, there's a mood I could hit where it turned me on, and I know a lot of guys react this way, too. I just think it's a fine line.
Bottom line: I do want my guy to be at least *somewhat* jealous. If he's not, then will he even notice or care once I'm no longer his? I like to think I'm worth a bit if insecurity from time to time. ;) Just not so much that it suffocates or humiliates me.
Funny you should post this topic Doll.
In the past my boyfriend was amused if a guy hit on me or if any one looked at me in a perverse way or just checking me out in general.
However until a few weeks ago I got dressed up in my jeans and a low cut top. Showing off my ample bosoms. (I like to push the boundaries at public places)
While at a pub in our town I saw an guy who used to be in my class in highschool. I didn't really know the guy well in school as I was an outcast and spent a lot of time in the library. It was a surprise that this guy actually came over and talked to me.
Boyfriend hang around for a bit and then left me and the guy alone to chat and catch up. The guy was telling me what he was upto and I guess the guy just wanted a friendly familiar face to talk to and who wouldn't judge him (failed engagment, two kids, dead end job).
Every ten minutes boyfriend kept coming out seeing what we were talking about. Using the excuse for a cig. Even stating "I should be jealous but I'm not." He even said "Keep an eye on Sirene for me." When he headed back in to play the slot machines.
A few days later over dinner at a resturant he said "I bet if I wasn't around, you would have went home with that guy." Even though I said I wouldn't do that. Boyfriend kept insisting I would.
This from a guy who said "I should be jealous but I'm not."
I'm quite a jealous guy but I hide it as best I can. I have enough trust in my girlfriend that it doesn't make sense to act all macho and make sure everyone knows she is with me; I know and she knows and that's all there is to it. If her friendship with another guy was really making me uncomfortable, I would tell her and I'm sure she'd be understanding and be mature enough to talk about it.
My girlfriend has a lot of male friends with whom she is close and, likewise, I have a number of close female friends. Naturally, we both get jealous but the important thing is dealing with it in a healthy manner. For example, recently my girlfriend suspected that a very good friend of mine, who I've known for years and see regularly, had feelings for me. She had complete trust in me but was worried that this girl was going to make a move on me. I know my friend well enough that I almost laughed at the very suggestion; there's absolutely nothing but friendly love between us. When I took a step back and tried to see it from her perspective, I could just about understand where she was coming from but I quickly reassured her that she was mistaken.
I think it's kind of nice that she gets a little jealous sometimes; it shows she cares. However, if she started getting really possessive and telling me what friends I can and cannot spend time with, that might cause a problem.
I have never been a jealous type but I had an ex-wife who really wanted to get jealous reactions out of me. She really pushed situations to the extreme in order to get the reaction she so desired. I think she had a deep down need/desire to have two men fight for or compete for her. What she did not realize is that every time she did this, it did a little more to convince me that I wanted out of the relationship. Of course that wasn't the only thing she did that finally pushed me into filing for a divorce. (She obviously fit into that juvenile game playing category that Dancing_Doll mentioned.)
I wanted a little more security and a lot less drama.
There is also the man that likes to create jealousy. It's s super mean, but I love it. Example: A girl walks up to me with directions, her guy is with her fighting with a travel guide or map. Nothing better then flirting with her and having him watch. The idea is to ignore him completely while giving directions - so much fun. You can see quite quickly if he has himself under control.
DD my little sister. Your know woman like us will always be our own woman.
He may know that when we have been out with the girls or whomever we will always come home to him. It may be delayed more than planned a call may be nice.
He better not object to the outfit I wear because he has picked many of them.
If I am chatting with a guy he better not make a point of me being his woman. Unless his is tired of me and wants to push me into another mans arms.
Curfew is what I decide it is could be a day or two.
Remember ladies if you desire complete freedom you better be willing to provide the same.
Maybe I should have reacted to the late nights, revealing outfits and all the guys she was talking about. Maybe not, I'm better off without her, I'd just like the money, house, cars, and stock investments back.
I am a very independent girl, I was raised into a very sheltered environment as a child and a lot of my past has molded me into who I am now. Needless to say, I usually opt for a less possessive man. I am a very sassy Taurus so let that speak for itself! I want a man who will trust me to do what I need to do, but still protect me regardless. A little bit of jealousy can be heartwarming, because it shows that he is afraid to lose me. But everything in moderation as I am not the jealous type myself. Too mushy or too jealous makes me feel uncomfortable and claustrophobic in a relationship.
It just works for me. I bolded the ones above that I consider acceptable. These are also things I would do in return to make my presence known. I certainly want him to trust me and not need to check up on me when I'm out, but I'm all good with him letting people know I'm taken. 
Despite my AV's, I don't normally wear revealing clothing with or without my guy, so that one is not an issue.
I love it when my man is jealous or possesive. As long as it doesnt go as far as him telling me how to act I love it. I have always had a thing for Alpha=males!!! I love being cared for, and looked after, knowing I'm his only and he is only mine 