Infertile Male: How to Behave?

Up to when can he keep this information private?

Cryptic Vigilante

12 Dec 2014

Infertile Male: How to Behave?

This is an interrogation that occurred to me lately. Consider this situation:

You're at an age where you'd eventually want to procreate with a man (18-40-year-old). You're still single and date different potential prospects, some more seriously than others. You finally meet a man that seems to be the perfect long-term candidate for marriage and raising children; he even tells you that he'd like to have children one day. Now the problem is this: this man is partially infertile, meaning that he could still make a woman pregnant, but this might be problematic for him. Maybe he'd never be able to make you pregnant, nothing is sure.

Now, how should this man behave with you? When should he mention his infertility?

Should he mention it as soon as possible, when you're still in the early stages of dating? Or would you be tolerant if he only told you later on?

Would you feel betrayed if this man only told you about his condition after you felt a great connection with him?

I assume that most women would like to be informed as soon as possible, but to which point would you be tolerant of his will to keep this information private? Please answer the poll accordingly.

Thanks for sharing!

Note: You're free to assume whatever you want from this thread. It might concern me, a friend, or no one at all. I won't comment on it one way or the other.

Guest

Lurker

13 Dec 2014

My husband addressed it very early on in out relationship. Right when we started to get serious. He brought up the topic of wanting children to bring it into the conversation.

Guest

Lurker

13 Dec 2014

Guest

Lurker

13 Dec 2014

Its not easy for a man to tell something like this. I prefer if he tell this while he and I start to get serious.. Coz then things will not be so awkward. And if he still wants to live with me.. I don't think I'll say no .because love can conquer all

Volya

Advanced Wordsmith

13 Dec 2014

You're assuming that the man knows that he's got slow and/or few swimmers.

Unless the guy has had reason to be specifically tested for sperm count and motility, he's really gonna be clueless. And if he has been tested, then you'd probably want to discuss why that seemed necessary; he may be carting around a lot of baggage you'll want to deal with before having him father your child.

Now, if he does know then he needs to share that relatively early in the relationship.

Dancing_Doll

Alpha Blonde

13 Dec 2014

For those that know their reproductive status before going into a relationship, yeah, I'd think it's something you want to mention somewhat early on (assuming it looks like it's heading into committed relationship territory) or if the person brings up children outright at any point during early dating.

Many people get married mostly for the purpose of procreation, starting a family and not always for notions of 'idealistic love' or 'soulmate' matches where love overrides everything else. Some people can be pragmatic, especially as they're getting on in age. If they're not overly baby-focused, it won't matter, but if they are... it's a bit of a bombshell to drop once you're already in deep.