I prefer: "I have a wife". Personally. for one, it kind of takes them by surprise. Also, hopefully it keeps them from hitting on me. Thirdly, I'm kind of proud of the fact.
You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.
The only time I have used that line was at a dance evening when a non-dancing guy (brought along by his mates to get him out of the house) who I was chatting too in the friendly way I do with everyone, suddenly asked me out on a drink. Obviously as a date. While I was desperately searching for polite excuses I suddenly remembered that I actually DID have a boyfriend (to be fair to me we'd not being going out for long) and gratefully seized on that and it worked without offending the guy. I did mention it to my boyfriend shortly afterwards and he was very laid back about the whole thing!
I prefer honesty. If I am not interested, I tell them that. Nicely at first!
As a student I ended up chatting to an incredibly charming man and after a while I realised I'd better tell him I had a boyfriend because he was really doing a good job... My boyfriend was a complete tosser as well, I regret the entire relationship... Know what this chap said?
He just started asking me nice questions like where he was tonight and how long we'd been together. He was just lovely. I was glad I'd been honest because he deserved it, although not glad I had to turn him down because for some reason I wanted to be in a relationship with an idiot.
He hugged me and then went on his way after a bit, and I told him as he was going that I definitely fucking would and kissed him on the shoulder.
I am a very flirtatious person so I prefer to engage in sweet innocent conversation with him. At the point where I feel like he needs to know, I will throw it out there. On that note I have noticed most guys dont care, they are just looking for fun and are probably married anyways so I say have fun and be safe unless he is a weirdo then give him the line when he engages conversation with you!
Over the years I have accumulated a thousand smart-ass, often non-sequitur answers for guys who hit on me. The boyfriend excuse would just be lying, since my boyfriend shares me so willingly. By the time they puzzle over my mysterious reply, I've wiggled my fingers 'bye' to them.
In my teen years I would answer this with, "Well, he isn't at this party...why not?" Some weak answer/excuse would be given and I would simply state he is a fool to let her be at a place like this, and what is it that is more important than her in his life? Half the time the girl would move on, with doubts about said boyfriend, and the other half I would have a new girlfriend by night's end. ;)
I don't really have much interest in other men, to be honest. My OH tends to come up in conversation, entirely non-deliberately, and by that time we're probably doing shots and I'm acting like "one of the guys" anyway.
There's never any interest in me, and that's fine by me because I'm not interested back.
Now with women, I flirt to my heart's content. They always know about the OH. He quite likes watching it, anyway.
No, I've never used the "I have a boyfriend" excuse.
My reply - if ever its needed is - "I have two guys so three is a crowd...... Bye !!!!."
I've used the line before, both when I've had a legit boyfriend as well as when I've been single and need to deter an over-aggressive guy (usually in a bar atmosphere or the gym) and can't be bothered explaining why I'm not interested. Sometimes guys take 'getting the girl' as a challenge and this is an easy way to just shut things down without any lingering maybes. Although, it usually requires the "and I don't cheat" bit in bars or clubs because many guys don't care if a girl has a BF, especially if he's not around at the moment.
In general though, I hate it... especially when a guy isn't being overly obvious and is just chatting or doing some light flirting. Saying "I have a BF" is kind of assuming a lot of things and I'm not one of those "if you're talking to me or we're casually flirting, it must mean you want to fuck/date me" types. So... yeah, if I'm enjoying the vibe, I probably won't bring it up until things take an obvious turn that way.
And unless I'm being outright propositioned, I'll probably just work it into the conversation (in a casual way) if I sense a guy is getting really invested in the pitch/play. After a while, I don't want to be responsible for wasting a guys time if it seems like he's on the prowl to find a hook up.
I know a lot of guys are bad, but there are also a lot of women that can be extremely aggressive with their come ons and have a serious problem taking no for an answer. Its shocking how many women keep on and keep on. "I have a wife" or "I have a girlfriend" does not deter them at all. And quite often once you do get fed up and let them know, in no uncertain terms, you're not at all interested in them, they come back with a homophobic slur. That is disgustingly small minded.
Everyone should tale NO for an answer and quit pursuing when the woman or man says "I have a boyfriend" or "I have a wife" etc.
Well... I used to have a friend that never took no for an answer. He never let the conversation go that far without outright asking if the woman was "here" looking for sex, conversation or just drinks.
He was very good looking and charming and took more women home than any 20 men I ever knew. Some men are simply irrestible to most women and his innocent boyish looks and million dollar smile got him a LOT of pickups.
I honestly think it has very little to do with the conversation line if the woman is at the right time in her life for some good old raw sex with an attractive and sexy man and the right one comes along. I think it's more about chemistry rather looks or words.
Unfortunately, despite the fact that I have better than average looks, I've never possessed that kind of animal magnetism that some men have.
That made me give up on bars years ago. Plus alcohol is expensive and bad for one's health.
I live in a fairly small town where everyone knows everyone also so it's not advisable to pick up women in bars or you could have an angry husband or bf on your doorstep before you get her clothes off.... LOL
Treat a woman like a lady always except in bed and the right kind of women will beat a path to your door. Women talk and your reputation will get you more "hookups" than any cute pick up lines in medium to small towns. Also NEVER but EVER brag about your conquests. Word travels very fast.
In big cities I'd be lost and somewhat helpless in finding "dates" or "hookups".... I guess I'm just a dinosaur.... LOL
Also... Don't take what I say as good advice. I just know what's worked for me.
I almost never get the boyfriend line anyway. I look for a ring and if I don't see one I simply ask. Works for me Might not for you.....
Oh crap... This is an ask the gals section.... Sorry girls. If any of you suggest I delete this I gladly will....
Great minds think alike but dirty minds work together.... ;)
I only mention my relationship in conversation if:
1. Someone asks me directly.
(Are you single? Do you have a man? Are you married?)
2. It becomes obvious while chatting the man is looking for something more than friendship.
(Making sexually suggestive hints that aren't nearly as subtle as he thinks it is.)
If neither of these two things happen, I rarely bring it up. I don't see the point, and it can be death to a good conversation. However, I don't make a habit of flirting with other guys, even if they think I am. Sadly, even simple kindness, such as smiling and making eye contact, is often mistaken for flirting these days. To me, it's just being polite, but other people don't see it that way.
For me personally, it depends on the guy in question. Someone that obviously wants a hook up or that has tried it on with millions of other girls in front of me I say it straight away. Other times I don't even realise someone is trying to chat me up, but I tend to slip it in there somewhere.
I have also used this when I'm single, guys are delicate. We need to protect their feelings, they can't know that we really don't find them funny or hot! (Sorry, just being honest)
But I'd say, most of all, be polite! If a girl is interested and looking for a guy she can't say no to someone who is polite, complimentary and sincere.
;)
