He's trying too hard!

13 Jan 2011

Ok ladies. All of you on here are lovely, sexy, and open minded. I've heard over the year from women that she didn't like a certain guy because he "tried too hard". What exactly is "trying too hard". Clearly it's off-putting, just curious. Not talking stalkerish behavior, just a guy that is too... eager?

When the debate is lost, slander becomes the tool of the loser. Socrates

13 Jan 2011

just like a guy doesnt want to have to re-assure us all the time that they like us or that they are happy in the relationship neither do we. confidence, i think, is one of the things women find most sexy about a man and if we are constantly have to placate and stroke the ego its a real turn off.

i prefer a man that is sure of himself, sure of me and sure of us.

13 Jan 2011

I heard a good advice one time.
"You can't decide for her that she should love you. She has to decide that on her own."

I'll be back when I've thought of this a bit more.

13 Jan 2011

wow - it's totally true, and i'm not sure i can define it, but sometimes guys just fall over me a little too much? i guess there's a hint of desperation that goes along with it? if i can come up with a percise Answer for you, i'll post it, k?

You can’t truly call yourself peaceful unless you are capable of violence. If you’re not capable of violence, you’re not peaceful. You’re harmless.

13 Jan 2011

A guy that is "trying too hard" is a guy that is constantly telling us right from the early stages of knowing him, just how great, smart, funny, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, wealthy and/or exciting he is and why we should be thoroughly impressed that he has bestowed his attentions upon us. Along with that little bit of "shopping channel" style urgency... 'better snap me up before some other woman does.'

Stalkerish behaviour goes with it sometimes, but other times it's just a guy that's trying to impress us too much and too fast. If he's smart, funny, accomplished and successful, then we should learn those things over time and not through him showing off all his stellar qualities right from the beginning. There is such a thing as "too much, too soon"... and to me, that's a guy that's trying too hard.

13 Jan 2011

Quote by lafayettemister
Ok ladies. All of you on here are lovely, sexy, and open minded. I've heard over the year from women that she didn't like a certain guy because he "tried too hard". What exactly is "trying too hard". Clearly it's off-putting, just curious. Not talking stalkerish behavior, just a guy that is too... eager?

Me me me , I know. The trying to hard phrase is just another way of saying.... I don't fancy you, your turn me on in a lot of ways. But walking down the street and with my family nahhhh! No thanks.

13 Jan 2011

Its the part that smells like desperation. Like it really matters to you a little too much how much I like you back. That's trying too hard.

13 Jan 2011

Quote by Dancing_Doll
A guy that is "trying too hard" is a guy that is constantly telling us right from the early stages of knowing him, just how great, smart, funny, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, wealthy and/or exciting he is and why we should be thoroughly impressed that he has bestowed his attentions upon us. Along with that little bit of "shopping channel" style urgency... 'better snap me up before some other woman does.'

Funny, I was thinking kind of the opposite here. I find a guy's "trying too hard" when he's constantly telling me how great, smart, funny, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, wealthy and/or exciting I am.

13 Jan 2011

Quote by SweetPenny
Quote by Dancing_Doll
A guy that is "trying too hard" is a guy that is constantly telling us right from the early stages of knowing him, just how great, smart, funny, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, wealthy and/or exciting he is and why we should be thoroughly impressed that he has bestowed his attentions upon us. Along with that little bit of "shopping channel" style urgency... 'better snap me up before some other woman does.'

Funny, I was thinking kind of the opposite here. I find a guy's "trying too hard" when he's constantly telling me how great, smart, funny, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, wealthy and/or exciting I am.

Nah, I just call that a guy being honest. icon_biggrin

13 Jan 2011

Dear SweetP,

I'd just like to take this opportunity to remind you how I feel about you. You are just so great, smart, funny, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, and exciting. And if you're not wealthy yet, you certainly deserve to be, given how great you are!

Your admirer and/or stalker,

NYF

13 Jan 2011

Quote by not_yet_famous
Dear SweetP,

I'd just like to take this opportunity to remind you how I feel about you. You are just so great, smart, funny, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, and exciting. And if you're not wealthy yet, you certainly deserve to be, given how great you are!

Your admirer and/or stalker,

NYF

Ah, finally, my very own stalker. I've waited so long for this moment.

13 Jan 2011

Quote by Dancing_Doll
A guy that is "trying too hard" is a guy that is constantly telling us right from the early stages of knowing him, just how great, smart, funny, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, wealthy and/or exciting he is and why we should be thoroughly impressed that he has bestowed his attentions upon us.

Right...any real man knows that time is much better spent complimenting you...self compliments are hollow

13 Jan 2011

Play it cool, treat her like you want to be treated, if she goes out with you, take her to dinner, pay the check yourself, be polite, and don't push her for sex, don't even mention it. If she likes you then congrats.

Well that's just my opinion, sorry if you don't like.

BigDaddyRich

19 Jan 2011

Quote by SweetPenny
Quote by Dancing_Doll
A guy that is "trying too hard" is a guy that is constantly telling us right from the early stages of knowing him, just how great, smart, funny, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, wealthy and/or exciting he is and why we should be thoroughly impressed that he has bestowed his attentions upon us. Along with that little bit of "shopping channel" style urgency... 'better snap me up before some other woman does.'

Funny, I was thinking kind of the opposite here. I find a guy's "trying too hard" when he's constantly telling me how great, smart, funny, romantic, thoughtful, trustworthy, wealthy and/or exciting I am.

I would agree with you Penny seems the repetition of our values as woman can be overstated to the point they not longer ring true. We are not stupid...Guys are you listening.

Of course they are most likely all true about you Dear Penny. The Rest of us are mear humans.

20 Jan 2011

I'd say, though I agree with various parts from all of the above, even though some opinions contradict, that for me a guy who is trying to hard, loses himself a long the way to impress me! Whether he's paying me of himself compliments, showing off or being humble. If i have the feeling that a guy who would want to be with me no matter what, changes his opinion like the wind changes directions just because he thinks that is what I'd want to hear. I'd say Stop trying too hard!!

It has to be believable! And the "too" in front of hard makes us questioning!

21 Jan 2011

In agreement with LMB here.

Back in the dating/hanging out days (man those are far gone now! lol) it seemed that certain guys 'trying too hard' were the ones that always kept on with the incessant compliments (too many can become just too much...ya know?) or the wanting to 'give you things' (i.e...flowers, candy...stuff like that). Personally, I've never been one to be 'wowed' by candies and flowers and such. Don't get me wrong, giving a gift is a nice gesture occasionally.

Just be yourself; you like to hang out and take a walk with a certain someone, cool. You like to listen to some good tunes, eat good food and talk about similar interests, cool. You like to engage in some actual intellectual conversation, cool smile

. Stuff like that turns me on more than the 'head over heels' trying too hard stuff. But that's just me.